I remember those months of mine,
reality warped and I misplaced time.
Anxiety burned me alive -
engulfed my bones, scattered my mind.

There was one thing that halted all,
that vivacious smile of yours.
That mouth and mind always aligned,
perhaps blunt but you never lied.

You were the place I felt most safe.
Alas, all roads lead to heartache.
I never again want to be,
that wretchedly lacking safety.

First the radicle must break through the shell.
Then feel the weight of the soil where she fell.
She must reach out, search the darkness for light.
In order to grow - bud, blossom and thrive.

First comes flame; your beating heart sets alight.
Then comes rain; relieving the raging pain.
But now barely breathing, you feel nothing.
Your blackened heart pauses, before collapsing.

Everything feels intense,
reality tends to bend.
I know, somewhere, deep down,
the world is not about to end.  

I know that I would live,
if for the best you went.
My heart I must not give,
to a mere good friend.

We know we're not enough.
This my declaration:
A smile is not your love,
kindness no invitation.

It turned too messy to amend.
I gained no love, but lost a friend.

I never used to mind falling,
I liked landing inside your arms.
But now that they're both withdrawing,
the sinking feeling sounds alarms.

Helpless, spiralling further down,
the sirens will never cease their cries.
The air escapes my lungs, I drown.
Something new inside me dies.