If I cannot direct these fiery flames,
then let them engulf me entirely.
Leaving not a single hair uncharred.
Sparing no feeling, only memory.

You run for me, pail of water in hand.
The water rises, and the water falls.
Like raging waves on a vengeful see -
Like the betallion of tears in your eyes.

Alas, it hits ground - my arm left outstretched.
Confusion and betrayal paint your face.
Angels like you, can't comprehend this hate.
While I generously give and take it.

Should I fail to control this raging gift;
I would rather be consumed than lose it.
Extraordinary failure suits me,
ordinary success just never did.

I remember those months of mine,
reality warped and I misplaced time.
Anxiety burned me alive -
engulfed my bones, scattered my mind.

There was one thing that halted all,
that vivacious smile of yours.
That mouth and mind always aligned,
perhaps blunt but you never lied.

You were the place I felt most safe.
Alas, all roads lead to heartache.
I never again want to be,
that wretchedly lacking safety.

First the radicle must break through the shell.
Then feel the weight of the soil where she fell.
She must reach out, search the darkness for light.
In order to grow - bud, blossom and thrive.

First comes flame; your beating heart sets alight.
Then comes rain; relieving the raging pain.
But now barely breathing, you feel nothing.
Your blackened heart pauses, before collapsing.

Everything feels intense,
reality tends to bend.
I know, somewhere, deep down,
the world will come to end.  

I know that I would live,
if for the best you went.
My heart I must not give,
to a mere good friend.

We know we're not enough.
This my declaration:
A smile is not your love,
kindness no invitation.