Where are you now
Seemed like you were on my back
Holding me back
With that warm embrace

Your warm memories sigh
Seem so benign
Don't step out of line
As well you know your place

The solace you sought
Was to give a millstone
Beguiled and betray your tone
I'd have you back again

Held me so close a cloistered prince
Thrive on your hypoxic high
On your placental supply
Ectopic asphyxiation

How she shines mischevious bright
Lighting a way almost
Her light touches me, but I cannot remain
Heavenly body in the dark of night
Outshines the stars
But spoilt by this day
Cool elegance to the eye
Yet burns bright to my soul
Transient, but ever there
Dependable as the tide
Ephemeral as the night
Mysterious universe so close at hand

Today a darkling cloud flew over me, rained its rain and soaked it deep
Is half a whole better than a whole half, the very thought made me laugh
A whole half is what I seek, and today I feel so limp and weak
Never a poet or playwright of conviction, never a journo exposé of a states affliction
Slave to mammon and of convention, tired soldier of no conviction
The strings under my fingers learn so slow, my inner strengths refuse to show
Afraid to pass a properties gate, stumbling over another glass to a state
Cant quite see what you see in me, cant quite remember where I want to be
The home I try so hard to make, its walls crumbling in some silent quake
The ties that bind me to this place, the failure and the fall from a phantsied grace
Unable to walk the path I chose to take, unsure and lost with all at stake

I feel fat when I am with you
Not some pasty morbidity!
No, I'm talking like Rubens
Or that bloke Botero
with a touch of Beryl Cooke
Harty, plump, ripe and ruddy
fertile and abundant
voluptuous, juicy even
Without you I am like skimmed milk
Without you I am thin
****** chic thats out of fashion
On an emotional diet
X-ray thin, bloke-lite
Catabolism of my heart and soul
Having fed so well, to now starve
Cravings in the night...

Of course you are here, where else would you be, between the elements
Absorbing the breezes and ripples, over watching the little creatures
The dappled shade the perfect balance of light and dark
Blair is here.
I can see him now, bent over, his brown almost black back to the sun
stick in one hand, eyes and mind intent on some natural phenomena
absorbed by the soil, its family, what goes on here?
The gentle burbling soothes and hypnotises time till it seems to stand still
Just me, Blair, the sun, the world - so intimate yet silent.
I don't know if he's being cruel to some little critter, perhaps sometimes
But normally it looks like some deep worship
Absorbed by the enormity of the minutia beneath his feet
Silently absorbed, lonely yet fulfilled
He joins us briefly, and talks normal human stuff awkwardly
The mumble so well known by ants and bugs
does not always translate so well
Perhaps we will light a fire later
Just a small one, he will **** and manoeuvre
till it's dark and we must go home
I might go get the things for tea
camping tea is great - Blair loves it
Yes tea is required by young men after such arduous Attenboroughing
One small step, perhaps looking at the clouds, or seeing where the sun is
One miss step, not looking down for once
One small hard little rock on the river bank
Just one minute to get tea things
I'm so sorry Blair I wasn't there
How come you are still here under this tree?