i think the
irony

befits such an
ending -

you,
settled

me,
altered

permanently
unsettled

a trace of
you forever

running through
my veins

i took a deep breath
once a upon a time
and held it
until my lungs
crumbled
and my heart
mummified
and my bones
fossilized in
the aftermath
buried somewhere
beneath the sidewalk
my blood had seeped into
visceral and fleeting
a single moment
washed away
in the rain

i feel little bits
of the universe
crumble around me
feel like i am stuck
in rewind
watching the same movie
over and over, every
terrible thing
while i cook dinner
clean the kitchen
take out the garbage
listen to the headlines
one punch, another
feeling like a lace tablecloth
laid across a landmine
and i'm realizing
there are so many ways
to be undone
to be brought to your knees
to do your best
to be your best
and to lose it all
anyway