People told her repeatedly, you don't want to be numb.

And how terrifying it is.
And how you can never get your feeling back.

And How it's the last thing you want to feel.
And How it's such a dark moment in life.
And How it can mess up you more than anything.

They told her repeatedly, Day after day.
But she nevered listened.

She just wanted to be numb so bad.
She felt more than you think.
Day after day, she's was exhausted just from talking to people.

People told her to get away from the drama or the people that cause it but what they didn't know, it's was everyone.

She felt everything at once.

People told her to see a therapist or get on meds.
Threapy didn't help. They just sat and judged her and
Meds just made her more sad inside.

People told her to find love.
She tried.. But she got scared in the end.

People told her to pray and believe in god.
But she was having a hard time believing in God when she lost so much.

People told her to make friends
She made friends but in the end they just wanted her dead.

People told her to grow up
She did but that wasn't the problem.

People told her to find happiness
But she didn't believe in true happiness.

She found her happiness in empty bottle of alcohol or a empty carton of cigarettes.

Or with a ****** razor blade.

She tried everything they told her to but not really helped in the end.

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She fell in love
with a dream come true

But she knew
If she got any closer

To him
She would destroy him to pieces

Like she did
To her body.

When I was four years old
I sat on the stairs and listened to the angry voice from downstairs.

When I was five years old
I sat stairs as I watched daddy's fist hit the wall putting a hole in it.

When I was six years old
I sat stairs and listened to daddy being drunk as he said mean things to mommy as she cried.

When I was eight years old
I sat stairs and watched daddy hit mommy repeatedly.

When I was ten years old
I wore long sleeve shirt in the summertime to school to hide the bruises from daddy.

When I was twelve years old
I sat on the stairs and listened to mommy cry when daddy left us.

When I was fourteen years old
Mommy took care of me and watched over me, I tried to help her but she didn't let me.

When I was sixteen years old
I come home from school and saw mommy on the bathroom floor with an empty pill bottle in her hand.

When I was eighteen years old
I visited her grave every day bring her flowers.

High rooftop, 20 feet above the ground,  
Shaking body, Scarred wrist, Fake smile.

Bright lights, Loud sirens, Voices trying to calm her down,
Tears streaming down her face, An empty bottle of alcohol
with an empty feeling in her gut.

Demons yelling in head telling her to jump,
As she Stands on the edge of the ledge,
Air blowing through her hair.

One foot off the ledge,
She couldn't take it anymore,
She leans fother as she whispers
"I'm sorry"