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Jun 2018 · 181
5 out of 297
BellaSkittles Jun 2018
Yesterday I closed my window 17 times,
Plus one because it had to be an even number,
I locked my door 12 times making the re-run,
I checked to see if the tap was dripping,
If it was dripping,
If it was dripping,
If it was dripping,
My lungs started to fill with the water it was excreting,
My mind looked like a children's drawing.

My mouth is a snow globe,
My music is unheard of,
But everyone still presents to listen,
It keeps memories,
And perfect white specks,
I want to listen so the music all the time,
So I do so,
After every meal.

My shower is cold again,
but the glass still fogs up,
How are we humane,
Scrunched up like a paper cup,
Sinking down,
Down the marble wall,
where my humanity shrinks,
Where the pulse of the water,
Is stronger than my own,
Tears mixed with ichor,
A fish drowning in cold water.

When I look below my feet,
My heart began to sink,
Consumed by numbers,
Not only on the back of boxes,
Is every fold of skin,
Is it really a bad thing,
When it goes down by two's,
When it gets to zero,
Its that when my lips turn blue,
Shaped like an arrow,
Where I feel a coldness in every bone,
Is when I can be congratulated,
For the energy that drained my soul.

Who's staring at me?
Falling back into a hole,
Back to consternation,
I hear footsteps as they follow,
A ticker in my chest,
Simple as a trepidation,
Each time I turn,
I still face another wall,
And yet again I'm alone,
This is when I let go,
Of whats mine,
Of what could have been,
To now only rely on my peripheral vision.

Are you okay?
They say.
A million ways to say no
Are carved in,
In my bare ******* skin.
But it's just easier to say yes.
Till a day,
When the only thing I can physically say is,
No.
Apr 2018 · 175
Bear
BellaSkittles Apr 2018
Up and down the hall,
You will hear her,
On and off,
The taps will turn,
Ethyl Alcohol.

Step outside,
You're safe with me,
Just a few more minutes,
I need something.

See the marks down her face,
Look and the spot on her scalp,
How dangerous was this aftermath,
How close could this get.

Let's go to the shop,
What about the park,
Even a walk,
or the spa.

You missed you chance,
to know me,
How can I lose,
something I'm missing.

What the dress?
What about the shoes?
What about the things were supposed to do,
What of a bond?

I hear stories,
I see pictures,
Of how you used to be,
Dose all this have something to do with me?

I want to go back,
To a time and place,
I didn't understand
But now I know its taking it's toll.

Please eat something,
I know what they say,
I know what they do,
Not from voice,
Just from you.

I see you action,
I notice your patterns,
'What happens if she doesn't time it perfectly?'
I know what happens.

You have it now,
You had it before,
Will you have it forever?
How much more.

I see your strong,
In this box.
In this zone,
You keep locked.

I know you're lonely,
I know you're envious,
But please be patient,
This isn't the end of this.

There only small,
They won't make you a zombie,
What if this could help,
This stupid family.

My graduation,
Will you be there?
Or will there only,
Be one one of the pair?

'Oh your tooth hurts let's go to the dentist'
"I can't"
'You can"
"Ugh you don't understand"

I wanna tell you,
that I do,
But I can't make you better,
And it seems,
Nor can you.

— The End —