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Becky Buehler Mar 2018
Some days when the sky's are dark
My heart feels each raindrop
Stinging old pains that never heal
It collapses and pounds
Reflecting voices I'll never hear again
And when I breathe too deep
My lungs obliterate in all of the things
I could have said
In all of the people I should have become
It's an ache and it grows
On days like today
Smiles are useless
Because the hurt is too loud
the doors slammed in my face,
the people I can not touch
Loneliness is the emotion I know best
the only one I know how to feel
I can have the world and I do
But a world without joy
Is as spoiled as the fruit in the fridge
A blank stare will suffice
A raised note in my voice
What have I done
I am small
I am weak
I will always fall.
I am an echo:
Bouncing off of other people's souls
I don't count
If only I breathe and remember how to love
Perhaps then I will make it through the day
Perhaps then I can be in your arms once more
I wrote this at a lower time in my life.  The sort of time when it's hard to remember how to breathe and exist.  When you feel like a walking shell.

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