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It's a battle field
I tell  myself one thing
I tell myself what not to feel
When all I can really feel is me
So I tell myself not to be me
So I can live in the world  
A world I cannot conform to
Not to be an activist or a protestor
But just to be me.
It won't be ok
Until I can be ok with me
With being a real person,  not just an idea
Not just an after thought
But a true love
The kind of Love you would do battle for
Love that would stand the test of time
A love for me and no one else
So it would never be lost
This love does not yet exist
I ran to you through the rain
I ran for days with no where to go
Through puddles full of questions
Full of echoes of you
I ran to you
Yet never found you
Years I waited
In the dark, waiting for rain
Waiting for you
These words I needed you to hear
Words I needed you to feel
This time you took away with you
Time I lost waiting for rain that I would never see
I could never tell you
How much I needed you to speak
To tell me stories of the future you saw
I no longer see your dream

I dreamt I saw you in a rose
The petals closed, the rose never bloomed
The **** thing died

I cried for years
Sitting by the piano I never played
Because music was soundless without you
I wish that rain would fall,  catch my pain, and wash the tears away..
I need the strength to breathe again...
I remember a day so long in our past, like a postcard
The day I danced with beauty
The sun was warm
My voice was mine
       I want you to have that day, as you took my voice,
When you left me with nothing left to say.
So I am sending you that postcard
When you return,  all that will be left of me is my soul on that piano bench
With a candle to light your way

You will finally come back to find me gone
I left to pick up the pieces of my heart I lost along the way
You wait for me now.
Hold your breath until I call
Burn in the sun
Let the silence drive you crazy
I want you to feel the weight of a broken heart
Time was never on our side

     I used to stay awake at night writing you letters
With words only you could read  
Because we spoke a different language
Yet you never looked back
To see my heart perched on the window sill, becoming a  raisen

I had this dream
Everything was extremely cold
You brought me a flower
Tears steamed down my face
I kept asking you why

You began to weep
My tears drowned your flower
You said I stole you
Yet love cannot be stolen
Your tears washed away the cold
The petals of your flower began to bloom
It now sits in a vase without water
Just as our love survives without time... sitting on that window sill
I traded my life for a dream
I traded my my heart for a ride
I wanted to see my dream.
I traded it all for my tears
So I could mourn the loss of my life.
I traded my love for a lie
I was too sad to know the difference.
I traded my soul for wings
To feel the way angels feel.
I traded my sorrow for the stars.
So one day I could wish back my life

— The End —