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Brian Rihlmann Nov 2018
He wants your madness
but at a safe distance,
like spending the night
on weekends.

Seven years now,
and no proposal
on the horizon.
That sun has set.

You’re not getting
what you hoped
out of this life,
no matter how
you squeeze and wring
that cloth.

Not even working two jobs,
buying a new car,
and the house next door,
rented to Bay Area refugees
at inflated prices
is making it happen.

So the hole gets filled
with clothes and shoes
still tagged a year later,
perfume and jewelry never worn,
dishes that won't fit
in the cupboard,
furniture that won’t fit
in the house,
but sits in the garage
thick with dust,
alongside piles of hardware
for half finished,
abandoned projects.

Jungles of potted plants and flowers
thirst in the backyard,
scorched by the summer sun.

Your housemates see
the yard long
credit card receipts
on the kitchen counter
or the coffee table,
and wonder
about the sudden rent increase
you forced upon them.

They smile
and walk tiptoe
when you’re around,
groan silently when you ask,
“Can you guys help me
carry this thing inside?”
Brian Rihlmann Nov 2018
Dad and son
play video games together,
spraying their enemies
with bullets,
and chucking grenades,
grinning as the blood
and body parts fly.

They watch movies together too:
westerns with gunfights
and men bleeding,
dying in dusty streets.
Car chase action flicks
with crashes and explosions.

The kid's seven now,
got his own BB gun
he shoots at neighborhood cats,
even killed a few,
and that's all right.
Another year, Dad's
gonna teach him
to shoot the.22

But he got the belt
when Dad caught the boy
in his **** stash.
He squirmed, sitting
at the dinner table that night,
welts stinging his little behind.

He got the buckle end of it
when Dad caught him
and the neighbor boy
trying out some of those
things he'd seen
in the magazine photos.

"No son of mine
is gonna grow up
to be a ******!"
Brian Rihlmann Nov 2018
They sing the blues
in shouting matches
with co workers,
with strangers at bars,
with family rarely seen
over Thanksgiving tables.

They play a sad tune
with guns under pillows
and flaming hatred
fanned every day
by radio chatter
and at night
by tv news.

Lonely vibrato from
a street corner guitar echoes
in 2 a.m. tumblers of scotch
as they pace hallways
imagining a country
that never quite was.

Beneath red faced yelling
and epithets
spit like venom,
beneath the scowls
and finger pointing
lie reservoirs of tears
behind locked spillways,
and children trembling,
cornered by the biggest
bully of them all.

If you train your ears,
you can hear
their song of lament
drifting across the land
like a funeral dirge.
Brian Rihlmann Nov 2018
From lighter flame
to cigarette
into ash flicked,
and stubbed out.

The bottle poured
into drunkenness
and a dark *******
hangover hiding
from another day,
leaking blue
through dusty blinds.

From one woman
to the next, and
from night to night,
weekend to weekend...

The future becomes now,
arriving like an empty box
abandoned at the door.
Brian Rihlmann Oct 2018
We all have that friend...
the endless stream
of cheerful affirmations
across our newsfeed.

Like sunshine
and rainbow farts
blown from
lavender scented
*******.

One read:
“Do what makes you happy.”

I asked,
“What if what makes you happy
is killing and dismembering people,
and storing their organs
in your freezer?”

She’s not my “friend” anymore.

I cringe, reading
some of the memes,
wondering about
the dangers of
that much optimism.

Wondering if I’ll ever
read about this person
in a front page
news story.
Brian Rihlmann Oct 2018
I grabbed and yanked at you
like pulling a ****
splitting my concrete path
with thick roots.

I plucked you out,
like they told me to,
but the root
broke in my hand
below the surface.

The crack you grew from
an open mouth,
laughing,
as I dig
until my fingers
bleed.

The piece that’s left of you
already sprouting:
tiny fingers grasping
at what’s left
of me.
Brian Rihlmann Oct 2018
We sat on a bench
by the river's edge,
talking and laughing,
then you reached -
toward me I thought -
and with your finger
tore a tangled spider web
between the slats,
freeing a little grey moth
caught there
beating frantic wings.

It perched on your finger
a moment,
until you held it aloft
and gently blew,
smiling as it flew.

I breathed an extra breath
as something in me
soared.
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