the movement in ur peripheral
the feeling of company as you close your eyes alone
the constant curiosity .. "why?"
you try to fit in but it's like the social puzzle piece is missing.
shut down by the universe, u feel everyone is out to fail you.

let me enlighten you.
you're so gifted.
and there are others like you, like me.
it gets lonesome, I know.
it gets scary. knowing the truth. learning everything is a lie, it's a lot.
and others may try to dumb you down, make u sound crazy.
but don't blame them. they're just as scared. if not, more.

do you want to know why you're so special?
while they're too scared to wake up,
you're already in contact with the sunrise.

The unfortunate souls.
after the storm,
they go home to retake the test,
another day.

Just fall asleep, ill meet you there

You and I
are no longer safe here.

it wasn't always like this.
you used to want to play,
and talk for hours.
you'd share your Halloween candy and taught me to paint my nails.

It didn't phase me, how small I was compared to the other kids, id hurt them because you were always the timid kind.
maybe it was my fire that burned you.  
maybe as time went on it got too hot, everyone got scared and tried to put it out. forgetting about you.

you'd seen how bad the flames got, and still added fuel.
I can't blame you
I didn't understand either.
you shut your bedroom door and never opened it for me.
as only a few years back I was fighting your demons for you, now we're here and you've become my demon.
you'll say u hate me,
tell mom I'm unwanted,
and make every kid in the neighborhood beat me up.
deprive me of the joy I was already lacking.

but we were just kids right.?
"Just ignore her" always worked right?
I still suffer every day, and you still don't understand.

I tried to get us out of here and you tied my feet down.

Life isn't real.
so do whatever u want
stop being scared of everything.

What we do now isn't important
in the end, we die.

This life is just a game, to see if we're capable of living in this human body, this human life.
unfortunately, some of us aren't.
weather or not we choose
to continue living this lie

just say **** it. live.
we restrict ourselves, starve ourselves
of what our soul wants
were too scared to figure out how to get it
too scared to see beyond the mass destruction we painted pretty, so we can forget about it later on in life.


all for what?
to keep living in a comfortable lie.
we starve ourselves completely, without even knowing.

that's not the life I want.

I'm ready now.
To tell you
why
I ran.
why I hide.



no, I'm not.


I just want to tell you I love you
and why
I want to be the love you're deprived of
feed off of me
I don't mind.
you gave me more than I ever asked
without a doubt
filled my heart
ignored the ice beneath it
you melt me with every unspoken gesture
I love you.

you loved me
even when I hid

and what must I do? If the time comes where, the voice that has yet to fail me, decides not to speak up next time. Can I have faith that just I could save me?. I don't know. So may I always have faith, in the delicate whispers, trying so often to mask out my violent waves. And may the least I can do is try, for nobody has shown me love, like the delicate whispers who only visit on the most sinister nights.

Not very long ago, as I was walking through a passageway, I heard someone say to another,
"a hero would sacrifice you. to save the world.
but a villain
a villain would sacrifice the world to save you."

I fall in love with you more every day
under the mask, nothings as okay
it paints a pretty face but it's suffocating me
withholding the things that make me be

today's yesterday and tomorrows again
this mask is my beautiful sin
father forgive me
for I'm not who I show
I hide and I cry
like sheep from a wolf