I fought for your love when you were afraid to give it
A thousand times I would relive it
Just to have what we do now

Typical love you always leave me feeling this way
Typical love you never seem to stay

I want this high to last
My life’s been moving too fast
It seems to slow down when I’m with you
Lighting up my heart
I never knew
It could feel this good

In the mist of all this sorrow
My drunken heart begins to wallow
Does it make it easier to feel
Body relaxed, emotions flowing through
like a slow release pill
Used to emotional connection so dull
But now there’s something real
Just when I thought I might never feel
Giving me a reason to want more
But in my own solace I adore where I can reside
My personal place to hide
I’m afraid to give it up
I’m afraid to let another sip from my cup
And taste what’s in my heart

I wish I didn’t love you
Or do I wish you loved me back
I know it’s not something I lack
But still it cuts so deep  
I can’t do anything right
I’m losing sight of my joy
All over a boy
But you’re more
My heart has never been more adorned

This sadness in my heart does it make you want to run
Am I more than you bargained for
Should I be easier to love
Questions of doubt cling to my insecurities like the devils on my back
Like a manipulative attack pointing out everything I lack
Bringing back the dark thoughts that leave me with an ache in my heart
What is this world I’m only observing
The hurt I have been through was I deserving
As the thoughts play in my mind I feel as if I’ve gone back in time to the way that I felt  
Heart sinking to my stomach with no way out
Makes me feel sick to think about
But here I am
The remnants of the damage make it hard to find myself  
push it to the side and see the girl I always knew was there
hiding in fear and confusion
how could I know how to love me when it was supposed to be taught by you
Someone who made me feel disgusting and used  
I want to hate you I want to hate them all

In my mind I struggle to understand the depths of my heart and who I am

Feeling so alone and hating to need
My heart is an anchor at the bottom of the sea

****** my heart for your own sake
****** my heart tell me it was my mistake
Let me keep giving cause you know you love to take
Take my body and leave my soul
Still I’m searching for the feeling of being whole
Is all I am a pretty face
A meaningless body you can easily replace
I’m emotionally dead it’s not giving me life
I feel as if the bloods dripping off the knife
Running down my skin pouring out my tears
I’m living in my fears
They swallow me whole  
How can I love someone I wish I didn’t know

Burning down my heart with the fire that you started
Now you wanna go and leave me broken hearted
You’re always so far away out of reach
I’m fighting for your love you’ll never give to me
So now I’m broken hearted
Trying my best to hold onto what you started
There’s not much luck that I can let it go
Cause you’re the only love I’ve wanted to know

I feel too much..sometimes I lose touch of what things really mean.. emotions are easily misunderstood. Yours I wish I could ease.. the fears and anxiety I want to relieve. I wish you could see.. Get to know the loving soul inside of me. The most important part of me and you the place where blood runs through spreading out to all our veins controlling everything that comes to our brains. Mine beats for you.

Bright lights, warm nights,tan skin, kiss me again
not only lovers but best friends
shorter days
The green of summer fades
leaves decomposing into the ground
I’ll never forget the sound
Of me and you, my heart was dancing to a tune I never knew
But now it’s like the trees in December

You can say you’re a recluse, you can use that excuse, but that’s not love
You can make things up in your mind,
do what you want with your time, but when it rains it pours
My pain is seeping from my pores
You can have your loneliness, I give up
I had so much love overflowing, but you covered your cup
Confusion in my mind, but I get it, I’m fine
I wasn’t enough to ease the struggles of your mind
Your heart didn’t feel best shared with mine
All the time spent
All the love made no dent
I’ll give you what you want even if it’s not me

Places we won’t go
feelings we don’t show    
I want to let you know
I won’t go when times get hard
I won’t leave you there hurt and scarred
alone in the pain that you feel
all the acts now seem unreal
like a faded out dream but
The ache in my heart has a vivid ring
lingering down to my knees
chest is tight as if it’s being squeezed
The mental issues align to the t
what is wrong with me
Looking in the mirror it’s hard to trust what I see
is this my body or is this mental disease
I want to be free

I’ve been lonely too long singing the same sad song
Please tell me if I’ve done something wrong cause I don’t feel like I belong to anyone or anything
I could float away and it wouldn’t mean a thing
So here I go drifting away in my sorrow
my minds running away
Maybe this time it will be gone for good
If only it could
So I stand in the water smoke filling my chest
Something to take off the edge a way to suppress the racing of my mind
It feels the same each time so I stand in line with the ones who know what it’s like
Heavy hearts heavy minds so many thoughts intertwined
Remove these pieces from my mind
Was I the one you were trying to find
To know we’re not alone

These dark thoughts provoked by fear
I still want you near but they push you away they keep everyone out
there’s a reason why no one can stay
I’m in a cage I’m enslaved to you someone I love who won’t love me too
What’s a girl to do but run away break free
I’m afraid your only going to be a memory
this heart will stay hidden for no one to see

What is this sadness that draws away anything that’s good
What is this sadness to make sense of it I wish I could
The days blend together am I just floating through the motions never ending hamster wheel I’m running through

Two beating hearts with so much life. Why do the biggest ones feel the most strife. I want to feel all your worries and fears the distance it’s caused has brought me to tears. I’m here and I want to stay. Give me your pain let me replace it with something good. The thoughts that over come you I wish they never would but I get it. I love you the happy the sad the lost the mad I want it all. I don’t want to be the only one to fall. Your heart is what I crave don’t hide it from me..any way it feels is something I want to see.