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Ashby 7d
Because no you didn’t just lose the thing you were good at it but through it you lost a piece of you because after you lost it you believed it made up all of you.
Ashby May 19
Have you ever experienced something so unreal there’s no way it could be normal?
I remember a time I saw something in the doorway.
A figure.
A ghost.
Of course I would be scared.
I had run back into my room like no one had run before.
I closed my eyes.
Hide from the ghost.
Maybe it won’t hurt me.
Eventually I opened my eyes.
It was morning.
I thought it was amazing, surreal.
I held onto this one moment in time, I saw something unnatural.
See there is a state when we sleep called vivid dreams.
Don’t think of it too hard.
It’s not that big.
Another time I had a dream, a man and I were sitting in a room, a small room.
But I felt okay talking to them.
Eventually he asked me the one question I hate.
I woke up the next morning.
Believing I had just been seen and visited by something surreal.
But there are these things called vivid dreams.
Once something happened.
Something happened in life.
It triggered activity in my head, the hippocampus and the amygdala awaked.
After that I fell asleep but I really didn’t.
Because there are these things called vivid dreams.
Once I had an amount of anxiety I never thought was real.
It hit me later that night even though I never knew it.  
I woke up.
We have all woken up after one night being able to recall something that feels unreal but so real at the same time.
But see, there are these things called vivid dreams.
Don’t think of it too hard.
It's not that big.
But under all of these memories there is a thing called vivid dreams and that’s how it is.
Ashby May 18
The question of what if has followed me everywhere I go.
I made one decision, here it comes. I think about one thing, then it follows.
What if my dreams don’t come true, but what if they do? What if I choose to believe, but what if I am wrong.
What if I did this instead of that, what if the other wasn’t an option in the hat.
What if I said something else, would it change anything else? What if you forget me? But what if I never leave your head?
What if I met the right person at the wrong time, but what if this whole time I was just being fed?
What if you never burned would you have been the same star but what if you never burned and you turned out just the way you are? What if I never see you again but what if I end up with you again.
What if I never said the first hello, would that mean you wouldn’t be mine to know?
What if we aren’t friends or enemies, but we are just people with memories.
What if I never let this question in my head?
What if the whole time that was just the way I am?
Ashby May 13
I wanted it to be you.
I really did.
It was kind of hard for me to make sense.
How could someone that I wanted so bad, Be the one person who makes me this crazy and mad?
I wanted you.
Just you.
This weird crazy broken version of you.
But I ended up with someone else instead.
Is it bad that I still think of you?
The person you are now.
But I’m happy with the person I am and all the sound.
Am I cheating, leading on?
Because I continue to think of you?
My friends tell me you never get over your first love.
But you weren’t, you were never my first love.
I don’t think I could even call you my love.
Do you think of me?
Of the past and the memories?
Can I even remember us being happy and nice?
No, I don't think so.
Because all I remember is you.
And I fell in love with that idea of you.
Ashby May 13
We regret a lot in our lives, never in the moment though. It counter punches us after we take the first hit. We might regret wishes we made come true. But then how could we regret something we once wanted so bad. We might regret a decision. A decision in relationships, in life. We might even regret the decision we made in a split second. We regret not saying certain things, regret not making actions clearer. We regret saying no to things we weren't sure of. Regret destroys the future, not the past. Then thoughts swarm our head. Regret never comes without its friends. Guilt, shame, overthinking and all take their hit. Maybe if I did this, I would do that. Maybe if I thought this through and took the time to understand I wouldn't have been hit with this kind of bat. Regret’s friend climbs into our head, it tears us from inside out. Others will never notice the monsters attacking you until you make it clear. But by then you’ll just be made of fear. So then when everything silences, regret leaves. It bids you a farewell, goodbye my friend until next time. So do you ever regret it? Regret letting it in your head.
Ashby May 12
Happily ever after. Root for the hero. Save the world. That's what we have all thought in this unrealistic swirl. Please save the people. Please just please. Let me understand what you went through to get this breeze. The narrator will always be the hero. The narrator will always save us. The hero goes up against tough battles and moments in life. Making a promise to end with a fight. But what we don’t understand is that we either die a hero or live long enough to see ourselves become a villain. In the end we choose to listen to the one with the tale. We are told that villains do bad things but we never ask why. Maybe that's why our lives are filled with lies. The villain will always be the villain if the hero tells the story. It’s kinda embarrassing really. We listen to the one happily ever after. But the happily ever after ends with one falling. Even sometimes the devil sits back and admires the work. But not the work of the villain. The work of us. The work of how even with someone bleeding on the floor we don’t give a second thought and we will walk right out that door. While we are young we learn early on about the good and the bad. The light and the dark. But the only difference is who is telling the story. Eventually one person we hate, their eyes go cold. So yes there is a villain but we are the ones who create them. Yes there are fairy tales but they are quite optimistic. In the end it’s not who beats who, it’s who tells their story first. Villains are just the ones with their stories untold.

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