I feel too much lately,

so I've started self-medicating again;

It may be enough to curb those **** cravings.

the one in the middle of the yard.
They cut it down,
and replaced it.

I recognized the coverup:
New genus,
new species.

There was nothing wrong with your tree.
I won't put you in the ground;
even that seems only a temporary placement.

Burning her fingertips,
while testing the radius of the flame's heat,
until it meets the end of a Marlboro.

"Happy new year!"
Fireworks ignite,
and she has her first kiss with nicotine.

How can something both scald and soothe?
At least she's conquering her commitment issues.

and nothing could contain us.

She'd tame us for only a while,
until a breeze blew a gust of hot air.

A kiss on the forehead and a few drops of ethanol
would ignite an uncontrollable blaze.

Until you finally extinguished it,
we were too lightheaded from the heat.

The city lights up like a crowded constellation,
but not one star shines brighter to guide me home to you.

And then there were the words I left unsaid:
My head still stuck on the stars,
the confessions dissolve into the atmosphere.

She sets the pistol-like object down,
returns to the wound with a cotton swab,
and fixes a pretty little gem in place.

"$60," she says, and I wince;
not in reaction to the fresh wound,
or my lightened wallet.

But rather at the fact
that no pain can relate to
that of my ******, ruptured heart.

The nail biting evolves into a psychosis well hidden behind closed teeth
Those gentle wrestler arms no longer cradle your giggling form
And the woman who gave you life is now fighting death.

Playing hide-and-seek between the sheets,
you'd always find me.

Now I rummage through the linens,
searching the confines of the single bed.

Sometimes it's best just to roll over, fall asleep,
and not wake up until your return.

Goodnight, and sleep tight.

His marathon heart
beats strong and fast,
enough to shake the entire bed.
She aspires to catch up.

But her heart is spent,
marred and out of shape.
she tires of conditioning
her weakening, stilling heart.

Skip to the epilogue:
She's trained so hard to reach no results,
so he lets her pass.
That gold medal still gives her a rash.

Eloquently written,
yet filled with venom,
neatly typed out,
and stored in your portfolio.

Handwritten confessions,
words once trapped by clenched teeth,
scribbled on a napkin blotted with tears,
and thrown in the nearest bin.

I found your words;
now go find mine.

Numb to every touch,
the fuse no longer lights.
I've plucked out every hair
to absolutely no avail.

So I'll light up
and set fire to my insides.
Words protected only by closed lips
get singed away as well.

The sirens lull me to sleep now.
It's almost an unsettling comfort to know
someone is suffering far worse than me.

I've overheard the harsh remarks,
Glossed over the callous words,
And picked up on every acidic subtlety.


But silence is the greatest insult you could ever give me.

Every time you kiss me, you leave me
And keep me waiting, waiting
Months, years until the next sweet brush of lips.

The hands halt and the sweet ticking of my watch goes silent.
Nothing to be done.

I won't wait for you anymore.
If you ever show up, you'll arrive to a lonely company.
Every time you kissed me, you left me.

Since you've left,
mornings aren't as good,
and dreams aren't as sweet.

I'm fairly tolerant to pain,
but no blood-gushing wound
hurts this much.


The heart is already divided into four,
what's one split more?

You said, "Don't hate me",
But I hate you so much now.
I ******* loathe you.


Downright pitiful
For robbing me of the chance
To say I Love You.

unable to sing, sleep, cry, feel.
With a single scar that she cannot hide,
a tome of secrets she cannot tell,
and an overwhelming fear that he'd return.

He left her,
but she left him, too,
taking away the only one who could care.

How do you justify keeping something alive,
that will then keep you alive?

Is it so selfish to want to cling on to
And depend on something so tightly.

Beats having to cling onto that blade,
or those pills you've saved for a rainy day;
A box of smokes you'd sworn against,
The "liquid courage", as others call it,
but you simply refer to it as potential poison.

I can't let you go, I won't let you go.
Not when you're my ticket out of depression.

The market's crashed.
I've gone bankrupt,
no matter what I have to scan.

I decided my worth a long time ago.
Let the barcodes reflect that.

Your words, weighted with authentic affections,
used to send my heart ablaze.
Now they resonate as sweet old lies,
which wring my heart out to dry.

My love wasn't enough for you;
Like your faulty reciprocations,
the ink will melt then vanish into nothing.
Oh, how this smoke will send me into a new high!


We'll go out the same way we went in:
A crisp spark that ignites and engulfs ever so swiftly.

I wore black and he wore blue;


We were really just a walking bruise.

"I love you" is the shortest, most horrible lie you can tell.

(written 12/12/13)

You're a hopeless romantic,
and I'm helplessly realistic.

I would do anything for you
and it breaks my heart over and over
because I know you would never do the same.

I'm not running away from you.
No, this time, I'm flying.

Dot, dot.
Line, line.
Spiders crawling up your spine.

Line, line.
Dot, dot.
Try to have a happy thought.

Three minutes was all it took.
My opposition halted.
My voice shriveled,
My muscles tensed,
And I stood still.

Poor me.
Weak me.
But I’m so strong, I thought.
I’m so outspoken, I thought.
But no, I just waited.
Patiently.

I apologized.
I APOLOGIZED.
For how uncomfortable it felt.
How inconvenient it was.

Three minutes.
Three. Minutes.
Most would laugh that that’s how long it’d last,
But for me,
Oh, for me,
It was a ******* eternity.