Defeat, defeat, defeat.
I have been dragged through the cobblestones.
Failure after failure.
I can’t bear the burdens of embarrassment.
Every day, every night, the knives of worry
penetrate my skin and puncture my heart.
I feel left behind.

Oh how far I have fallen,
from the pedestal I once was on.
I fall and fall, with no end.
Anything I can grab a hold of,
becomes nothing.

I have committed a serious sin.
Time and time again,
I sin and sin.
All to gain trust,
to avoid embarrassment.

It has been so long,
since hope has touched my face.
Darkness and smoke consumes my mind.
How long do I endure this tragic mess?
Even mercy has forsaken me.
There is no easy way,
no shortcuts in life.


Doubt and regret plant their seeds.
Fear of disappointment.
But disappointment has already ensued.
No one knows of my failures,
only the institution and my mind knows.
I battle through it all,
A war that never ends.
I am tired, I am weak,
I am incapable of knowledge.