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Joanne Yuan Sep 2020
click the link  
join the room  
ten past five
one on call

half past five
all on mute  
wall of black
might as well  
read a book

spill some tea
ah wait, no  
not on mute  
this is bad  

half past ten
fell asleep  
it looks like
I may be
all alone

I hate zoom
Joanne Yuan Sep 2020
begin
Restless fantasia, colors flying by  
Whirls of blurs, dancing lines  
A world, an apparition, gleaming  
multicolored hues, seeming...  

"Would you like to step outside?  
to where dreams do not preside.  
But all knowledge requires sacrifice  
though the price is not precise"

"Yes, for I am a curious cat  
Cats have nine times to die —  
A sacrifice of just one?  
That is not the end."

But you see,  
there are some things  
that cats are not meant to know.  

A soap bubble popped is lost  
wisps drifting in the wind  
There is always a cost  
and there is no going back  

"But please..."  

Rewind, reloop, stop  
again
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
I am sitting, paralyzed, below  
the precipice of an avalanche looms  
I cannot move, I cannot cry  
I can only gaze high up the sky.  

Stones skitter, skatter, patter  
against my skin leaving just  
patterns woven in purple  
and red rain, pleading out  

The rest will come soon,  
but I have no means to hurry them on  
I sit — no, she suffocates me  
wraps her gauzy arms until

Calm, all suppressed  
Rage, embers struggling free  
If that is what it must be,  
let us pay the fee.

My mind floats high,  
the time to go is not yet nigh

If the end is already set  
Why struggle? Why try?  
Sink into the lullaby  

Just don't crash back to Earth,  
before it is time.
after painkillers fade
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
black on white

a world fading
into monochrome

sighs silent lines
lavender laughs wane gray
stormy skies and lifeless lies

they say the world will end
in fire or ice but now,
there is only ash

fear not the world aflame
ennui strikes truer

a study in contrasts
black on white
white on black

pick up your pen
time to add color
adding color with words — though black and white
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
run your hand
through your hair and
watch the flakes drift silently
to the ground. best done against
a dark background — the contrast
makes it easier to see. if you sit still,
a thin layer of snow will start to cover
your skirt, the carpet, your surroundings.
now, move more quickly. scrape, scrape,
scrape let yourself feel the pain. you won't feel
it now, but it'll be cleaner afterwards. even if
your fingertips come away with red. you see, there's
something beautiful about flakes piling besides you,
covering everything, forming a small mound,
then a hill, then burying you. slough off your outsides,
your beautiful insides will show, bright, bright red. you'll
finally be able to shed your regrets. you are a dandelion,
spreading yourself in the wind,
scattering
everywhere.
dandelions leave seeds to grow, but you
— you leave pieces of yourself everywhere you go.
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
My friend's birthday was in a week  
And as I woke up, my day turned bleak.

20 gifts for under $20!  
Seems that there are options aplenty.

Elvis Star Socks,  
Meat Parade Metal Lunch Box  
...

Oh! Could this??...but I had to balk.  
For it was out of stock.

My hopes took another dip  
When my perfect gift took a month to ship.

"gifts for guys"  
But the results were all lies!

Why suggest purses?  
By page five, I wanted to give Amazon curses.

But if Amazon had given up,  
it was time for me to give up too.

"So....what do you want me to get you?"
the struggles of finding a gift
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
I like —
overhead lights, christmas lights, lights alike
they chase the night away
and keep shadowy dreams at bay

We intertwined string lights in our dorm room
weaving the strands in and out of our bed frame
I kept my desk lamp on through parts of the night
A nightlight by my bed, glowing dimly in sight

But —
I would lose the controller to my string lights
And turn off my desk lamp
I would forget to charge my nightlight

So, in the end, it was just the window light
And coats forming sinister figures,
ready to take flight
shelves looming down, right as —

My roommate turns in the top bunk.
I turn, too, and close my eyes.

Good night. And I guess
I also like having a roommate.
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