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Noctuidae May 2018
When we first discussed this, you said to me
'I'm fine with never having *** again'
I had a feeling this would never be

You said that I could never feel your pain
That part of me was forever missing
My fondness of you like a viscous stain

In your eyes, my "crime" was unforgiving
Though said crime was a lack of attraction
You left me; Just like I was expecting
-

This is why I needed to take action
To keep this scenario far, far away
I said no, watching your draining passion

We're good friends and it needs to be this way
I explained my fears to you- you agreed
It seems as friends we will forever stay

Do not worry, for I will not mislead
I thank you for trying to hear my voice
And I expect you to no longer plead

My sexuality isn't a choice
Nor is it some strange riddle you can solve
In philia love, let's rejoice, rejoice!
Noctuidae May 2018
Down on his knees before the pews
Confessing at her broken altar
With nothing but his pride to lose
He prays to her that he won't falter
Noctuidae Aug 2019
Zero patience
Your pleas make me shiver
Xanax; Do you need one...?
Why do you avoid my gaze?
******; Perhaps this would be better
Ultimately, it doesn't really matter
This game we've been playing...
Stops tonight
Right this moment
Quiet, little lamb
Please, my dearest...
Oh, your tears excite me so
No, no, don't stop because of me
More. More tears to wash away my sin
Like being baptized in the church of You
Keep them coming, love
Just. Like. That.
I can feel you shaking beneath my hands
Hear your voice hitch at my touch
Give me your best shot
Feel my skin split under your fury
Even now, you hold back
Do you find me worthy of forgiveness?
Compliance; You've heard my prayers
Bless me with your sacred touch... We've got
All the time in the world now
Noctuidae Aug 2019
Your hair-tie on my dresser
A button from your jeans
The bracelet from your sister
Quite sinister
The Downward Spiral album from your car
An old tube of ChapStick
No need to nitpick
For I am no dim-wit
A few items every two weeks
While you sleep
And I  b r e a t h e

Where's your perfume?
I could've sworn it was right here
Darling, did you move it?
Silly little bird...
A red thread from your cardigan
Just like the one that binds me to you
Your knife, blunt from every emotional meltdown
Empty pill bottles lined up
Troubled history, hm?
Citalopram, Mirtazapine, Doxepin
Such a sad little bird

An empty can of Seagram's
A used bandage
And a take-out fortune
'An hour with friends is worth more than ten with strangers.'
My word, this is exactly how I feel
When I spend time with you...
Your Sleep-Aid sits on my nightstand
Just waiting for you to pick it up
Diphenhydramine- 50 mg. each
150 mg. every night for four years
The journal in my hands tells me so

A young man shivering in my attic
Force of habit
Like a rabbit, diving down
A bit worse for wear but still kicking
Your hand in mine as I console you
'Local man missing'; How could he be?
He's right here
I'll release him in a fortnight
After all, he didn't see me
A gift, from me to you
My morbid little night owl
Noctuidae Oct 2019
His veins burn with hallowed fire
Her presence melts his ivory skin
Placed upon an eternal pyre
Forever paying for his sin

— The End —