It wouldn’t be this silent
If the wind chimes Mother hung still sang from the ceiling.
It wouldn’t be this dark
If the warm lights still clung to the corners of the wall.
It wouldn’t be so pale
If the colors weren’t buried beneath lifeless paint.

There are things I never got to see clearly—
Like how those canvas paintings fell,
Even when the nail never moved.

I wish I’d been given a pass to the answers—
What exactly sleeps beneath these blurry lies?

But my train kept skipping the stations
I was meant to discover.
Now I’m stuck
In this trigonometric aisle—
Too angled to rest, too sharp to escape.

Sometimes, I don’t know how to feel,
But there’s one thing I know is real:
I still have to stay on this ride,
Even if it strips me down.

I’m not whole, and I’m not made of steel—
Because beneath all this armor,
I still crave love.

I’ve longed for warmth,
But never knew where to find it.
I used to fear the dark,
Until my only empire became
A blanket—
Because it did what my father never did.

I tried to return home… to Mother,
But she shut the door
Before I could even lift my foot to the step.

Everything was cracked—
Every side of me.
Taped together with fragile seams,
Pretending to be fine.

But I know I’m not alone.
And I don’t mourn—
Because I was told to grow.

As if I’m the only one with a heart
In a world of trillions?
Surely others have seen worse.
But I wouldn’t know.

So I’ll save my tears for now,
Pick up my mirror,
And walk—
Toward the next terror.

Don’t ever say that to me…
It’s already burning in my skin.
It kills me slowly, in silent series.
A part of me—I stopped collecting.

I thought I’d be her only adventure.
I thought I was her first flower to bloom—
Blooming without needing her to pour the water.

Not once did I think
It would be you she’d run to.

Just once…
I loved her.
I really loved her.

I loved her like shade under the sun,
Like daylight after darkness,
Like the last breath before sinking underwater.

I loved her
In ways I didn’t know I could.
I gathered the stars for her,
Even when they bruised my hands—
But I never stopped,
Because I wanted her to see
That the light still exists
Even when it’s not in the sky.

But it seems…
She liked the moonlight better.

Never the stars.

And I…
I can’t give her the moon.
Which means
I can’t love her better.

Maybe he gave her the moon.
That’s why these stars didn’t matter.
I know the moon is greater than the stars—
But don’t stars shine too?

Why did she choose the moon?
Is it because every star glows differently?

...Well—
Fine.
The moon lights up the sky.
Not the stars.

A silent day paired with mean weather—
The sun gave no warning before it showed up.
My skin grew tanner by the second,
But it didn’t matter—
My mind was piled up,
Wandering into another realm,
As the noise outside faded like sounds underwater.

Warm wind swept through my bangs,
Tickling my brows.
My palm cupped my jaw,
As I tilted toward the door,
Sitting still—
Like an abandoned statue on the floor.

And then I met his gaze.
It didn’t search for answers,
But somehow—it shouted my name.
It was louder than his charm,
Almost ethereal—
Like kaleidoscope art:
A beauty no being could ever describe.

Just a fleeting scene.
But in my home,
He took a permanent seat.

In a world of popstars and flashing idols,
I was drawn to a quiet soul—
Wiping his sweat,
As he washed strangers’ bowls

An ache
I can't quite put into words.
A feeling
I refuse to embrace.
A silent hurricane… flashing before my eyes.

It all began with a grip
I was too reluctant to let go—
Even knowing
I was holding the wrong rope.

A connection I never truly understood…
Was it ever a connection?
It shattered me in an instant,
The moment truth arrived,
Carving me — piece by piece.

I could hardly look away.
Because really,
What’s the point in running,
When the wave has already crashed?

How could I pretend
I didn’t get drenched by it?

The trees saw it.
The sky saw it.
And the wave…
Was part of it.

So maybe it’s time—
To sit in this silence,
And wait,
As the water on my skin slowly dries

Bridges you build can break,
Bows you've tied can unravel with a single snip.
Masterpieces you've carved can shatter,
And colors you've painted can vanish in one careless splash.

Have you ever thought of that?
Never…

Not until you walked that path barefoot,
With shards pressing deep into your skin—
And no one there to hear you,
Each step carving the lesson into your being.

Even stars can die.
Their light flickers, then fades into nothing.
That truth might’ve sent a tremor through your soul,
And sometimes, your hands bury your gaze.
But you can’t pretend you’re not wet
When you’re already in the rain.

But still… we’ve all come this far—
And we’re still walking,
Like dusk that follows dawn,
Like the bright blue sky after a storm.

And at the end of the day,
It’s you, standing at the edge of the road—
Waiting for yourself to reach into your own arms.
Because  after all
you didn’t choose to fall—
And you always rose, even on your own.

I want to run away —
Far, where no one can find me.
To a place so still, only the wind speaks.
No more glancing back —
There’s no one left to tap my shoulder.

Let my breath be the only sound,
The only thing that breaks the silence.
I want to go home —
And home is where I’m with me.

I’ve been waiting.
And I’ll keep waiting —
Until I fall into my own arms,
And breathe again.

What are we chasing?
Why are we all running in a marathon—
when there isn't even one?

What are we hoping to reach?
Is there really a finish line?

Tell me,
when was the last time you slowed your pace?
Why not pause—
just for a moment?

Step away from the crowd.
Sit under this shade,
and stop trembling.

There’s nobody watching.
It’s just you… and you.

Now look at your palms.
How long have you been gripping?
So distracted,
you didn’t even notice the bruising.

Look at your feet.
How long have you been running—
stepping over shards,
tripping on rocks,
chasing an invisible line…
while your wounds kept bleeding?

Cover your ears from the noise,
just for once.
Look down.
Close your eyes.

Can you hear it?
It's still beating.

“What took you so long?”
That wasn’t me.
It was your heart,
finally whispering.