That empty kiss
Your tainted lips..
Why hold me if you didn't care?
I tried to rush
I realize I rush too much
To both of us I was unfair

You once held my hand
And kissed me underwater
I followed where you led
You corrupted a mother's daughter

You once laughed at my joke
And complimented my grin
Just so you could score
And tell about the win

You once took me on a date
Told me to wear something ****
Placed your wicked lips upon mine
You didn't even know my last name
I didn't know yours
But I thought it a good way to pass the time

I see hate in the mirror
I tell myself not to take my own actions personally
Yet, know that I'm responsible for them

I want to wipe it out
A sucker punch to the brain for a moment of peace
Get out of my own ear..

I must find a new way to get release

But your lips have stained mine
And a bitter venom flows through my veins
Empty kisses that didn't bring me love
Empty kisses that have brought me shame

I look out the window and see you running alongside the train
I close my eyes and images of you flood my brain
All the fairytales told me you'd come when I needed you most
Craving to know the curves of your face..
Feels like I'm searching for a ghost

Darling, please put your arm around my waist

I'm at my lowest, a damsel in distress
Rescue me
Make me feel whole without taking off my dress

There was a little girl whom found love to young. On the playground she’d sing a child’s innocent song in a beautiful hum. Boys would hear her song and watch her, entranced. A rebel of a boy came up and asked her to dance. “I heard you singing from the swings. Your eyes are beautiful. Will you take my hand?” Curious and delighted, the girl couldn’t have known what he had planned. He twirled her and kissed her five year old lips. He put his hands around her young and innocent hips. “I have something to show you.” The twelve year old rebel whispered in her ear. “What is it?” out of curiosity not fear.  He took her hand and led her in to the room in the rear of the building. He took off his pants while she looked at the ceiling. So much more happening in between. Those days have passed and that young girl is now a woman. Her heart is confused and her mind in ruins. The love she knew when she was young, the love where he would kiss her underwater and buy her cheese fries, the love that she saw glimmering in his eyes, she never saw in everyone else’s. It confused her. It hurt her. But no one knew of her love. Her pain she suffered alone. Still a child at heart the woman loves to indulge in encounters that temporarily fill the hole of her one and still, only, love. She also gets drunk or high, anything to make her feel numb. She smokes a cigarette and has and epiphany. “I’m going to get my life together, stop sleeping around, and find a love that’s true.” She got up every day. Went to work and school. She leaves her heart open to opportunity and the almighty, God.  She’ll one day become a mother. She’ll have a love that will accept all her sins and kiss all of her scars. He'll hold her close. Ask her to dance. It will be a love she understands. A love she won’t think she deserves. She’ll feel too tainted, but he’ll soothe her with words. Mend the hole. End the hurt.

There's something cooking in my brain, but I'm intrigued by what it may boil
Ripples cover the picture frame, through pouring tears my vision foils
The clock has stopped breathing, where is the beloved Tick and Tock?
The black curtains are freezing, or could it be my cold blooded hands that caused the shock?
I've taken nothing to be in this portrait
Looking at it, all you can see is sin
I am who I am
I've done what I've done
Go ahead, be a *****..
See what you become
Your reflection will taunt you:
"Show me that chest.
Lets see what he might find tomorrow under that dress.
Oh, you look so good!
Love the red lips..
But the best part is when you're naked and they compliment your hips."

The money is on the nightstand
Adventure is all you crave
Just for one day..
Don't be a slave
This addiction is pleasure
But it brings so much pain
I lie and I cheat my family and disappoint my friends
But hey... I'm selfish and occasionally vain
I'm getting ready to go on the town, today will not be a waste
I have something that I want.
And when there is something I want, I go for the chase..

I've peered inside what my heart hides in It's cage now
I know that I've made many mistakes for my age, how?
I'm addicted to the touch, to the ****** and the sweat
Darling,
Moan
Would you still love me through all of my regret?
If I let you hold me close, if to you my heart I gave
Would you trust that you're the one I love?
Could I be the the one you want laid on top of your grave?

If I let you kiss my scars and let you occupy my heart
Would you accept the hurt and despair?
Love my soul, and mend all of my broken parts
Pleasure me when that vicious urge for a ****** lingers in my air

I've done some things for pleasure
I've done things to please
wet eyes
"Please, don't ignore me when I'm down on my knees!"
If you knew what it meant, If you knew how I feel
I'm here for you, I'm giving myself..
That deep stinging pain inside is real
Look me in the eye, hold my cheek
Kiss me hard because your knees are weak
And when I swallow both our satisfactions,
Do not question where I learned my actions

There is a past behind me,
I'ts pawing at my memories strands
Help me forget them
Help me warm my cold hands..
Tell me it doesn't matter,
That you have me now and that I'm enough
You want me forever, for me you are tough

When someone disrespects me, will you be there to set them straight
Defend my honor, even my curious past
Fight my battles with me, vow to me that we have a love that will last
Love me even though I think you never could
Give me a love you think I deserve, and for once dear God, let it be a love that is kind, encouraging, and understood.

I don't understand small talk
I need to know something deep
I crave to know whats in your heart
I crave for you to know what's in me

Who am I exactly?
I think I've lost the string on the ring
Am I a rebel?
Am I a *****?
Where is the man who is waiting at my door?

I am getting on my last nerve
My eyesight needs to be stirred
I can hear their every word
"Who does she think she is?"
"Is she who she says she is?
Am I who I say I am?

I had the experience of everything I wanted
It felt real
It was all I wanted
Just for that moment
Something please be real

My hearts ****** up
I mean, I don't know what the hell is going on
Its singing a foreign song
The world is you
Your world that you so deeply withhold
Its like mining for gold
And the climate is too cold


I feel so free
But so confused
Bight colors everywhere
Flashing beams of lights
The world our stage
I tripped over the curtain
And with my self, the my universe hit the ground

I got up this morning and took a shower
Put on my makeup for almost an hour
All in the hopes that someone would give me a second glance
Possibly meet the love of my life by chance
But no one turned
My stomach churned
No one looked up
My heart is saying to just give up
The man I thought would love me only loves himself
I'm having urges to cut myself

Why am I not good enough?

It must be me
Something within me that people don't see
Both my siblings are happily in love
I try to to patient, to wait for the right guy
But It's killing me, always fighting back the urge to cry..