Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Ananya Dubey Jan 2019
Did something change after that day?
No, nothing in an unusual way...
Nothing that could break the heart.
Nothing that could tear you apart
Nothing that could be told
After all, secrets are something,
that the heart holds.
Ananya Dubey Nov 2018
Shadows...
clinging along
like old memories
and that unsung song.
       Like pain, agony
       all mixed in one
       and those memories...
       of that special someone.

Shadows...
that don't drift apart
that have been there
right from the start.
        That don't fall away
        when the day shines bright
        that crouch in corners
        for our weary sight

Shadows...
that shape us, form us,
and that may at times,
even **** us.
Ananya Dubey Dec 2018
A thousand words
don't mean as much,
as those synchronized
periods of silence.

Intending to persist
and trying to resist.
Giving out more than
the story that just began.

Years ago, a war
in its own right,
trying to stand the ****** sight.
Bathing in the Omnipresent,
Silence's Effervescence.
Ananya Dubey Mar 2019
I'm slowly crumbling inside
the walls of confines
Come and hear the truth
about those 'Okays' and 'I'm Fines'

I'm soaked and drenched
with waters that only eyes and quench
My tears stained my shirt, alright
How long until I've got to fight?

I'm tired of being the one who cares...
when no one gives a **** about my fears
Tired of being the monster, the demon
which one doesn't even need to summon.

I'm tired of this labyrinthine maze
of the curves and bends, I have to face
So let me end it all here
and this time, I'm sincere
Ananya Dubey May 2021
They say that souvenirs
are the reminders
of moments that've passed
of times that have gone by
of people who stayed
and the people who left

Maybe, that's why Grandma
in her late 60s, still serves food
on a small steel plate,
before having a morsel, to remind herself
that even in his absence,
Grandpa would forever be present.

Maybe, that's why mom still
flips the album with the curiosity of
a fifteen year old girl, who had
dreams and aspirations which are crushed
The album reminds her of what she was
and what she wanted to be... Maybe, that's why, dad quietly threw
the bunch of his paintings and writings
Into the winter fire, leaving the comforts of a brush for the artifice of a computer
Because his idea of a souvenir
Was burnt up ashes of his passion.

Maybe, that's why, I glance at my journal
Flipping through scribblings that
Don't even make sense to me now, for
the creative in me lost to the rational me
And in those arrays of poetry and stories
Ananya Dubey Jun 2019
I've been in a void
where darkness seemed to be light
Tell me what to do
Tell me what is right

I see hope fading
in my own eyes
Give me a hand
help me to rise

Be my light...
Be my light...
Wake me up
to a whole new sunrise
Ananya Dubey Jun 2019
When memories surface
up the stream of mind
Do they leave a trace?
Or are they hard to find?

When memories surface
up the stream of mind
Do they make you reminisce?
all the things unkind...

When memories surface
up the stream of mind
You glance into the void
and there's nothing you can find...
Ananya Dubey Jan 2019
Tell me it was a lie
the voices that said die.
Tell me I was wrong
about life being a song

Tell me I have to heal
because it's no big deal
Tell me that you care
and won't just stand and stare

Tell me it's not over yet
I have goals to get
Tell me to feel alive
for success I have to strive.
Ananya Dubey May 2021
I walked to the terrace, late at night
for the night was stuffy,
And there was no one in sight.
Up there I wondered,
If I could really fly.
So I took the step slowly
up the terrace that night.
But I saw a girl, already up there,
she looked tired and serene.
She was like an apparition,
staring at the scene.
I stood in the comforting silence,
wondered if I should break the ice.
She spoke first to my relief,
And asked me why I was late to arrive.
I wondered, what she meant,
but she continued without a pause.
"If you came a little early,
you might have saved a loss."
I needed and sked,
"But would my words have mattered,
If your mind was already made up?"
She replied without skipping a beat,
"Without trying how could you give up?"
So, I didn't think of flying anymore,
maybe because I thought I'd fail.
Instead I told the girl beside me,
"I'd be on time from now on,
so you can rest assured."
Ananya Dubey May 2021
They say, things change,
people change but life goes on.
But you, you never changed.
Your streets are still lined
with the same memories,
getaways and pranks.

Grandma still narrates the same tales,
sitting on the same cane chair,
in the same garden, in the same house
where I grew up.
It's as if time never
laid it's hands on you.
That café still stands with
a dozen memories to recount.
That hilltop that I so loved,
is still there, forested as ever.
The waterfall makes the same sound
as it did years back...
when we went picnicking.
As I stand here, I seem to have changed,
I become once again, that little girl
who liked to pick shreds of glinting mica,
from the streets.... "You" are far, yet so close.
Distant yet, you are home.
You are the city with the river,
The city that gave me a forever.
Ananya Dubey Mar 2019
I tread along,
the lines of an indifferent verse
singing an unheard song
because it's hard to converse

I tread along,
a different way
shedding my own light
because I'm trying to stay

I tread along,
to places unknown
waiting for the time
when I'll be gone
Ananya Dubey May 2019
I dunno why I still care
When you don't think twice...
When your words slice
my heart just like a dagger

I dunno why I waste my tears
Over you without a reason
And even after all you do....
I can't blame you for treason
Ananya Dubey Nov 2018
Trust me...
I'm right there
to hold your collapsing world,
while my own remains eternally destroyed.

Trust me...
I'm right there
to lend a shoulder
while my own tears turn colder.

Trust me...
I'm right there
to wipe blood off your scars,
while my own skin, a razor mars.

Trust me...
I'm right there
as usual, with a smile.
burying my own sorrows for a while.

Trust me...
I'm right there like I used to be.
But, maybe not any longer.
Because, I'm fading away waiting for you to notice me.
Ananya Dubey Apr 2019
I'm facing
sheer turmoil....
Don't wish to be
one of your charity cases
And you're confusing me
with your multiple faces
There are times
when I am aware
that I won't do
and that, you don't care
yet I'm placing faith
and hope in you
And deep down I wish
that you do too....
Ananya Dubey Mar 2019
I desire no more
to "hold on" or "hang on"
Because, what future holds in store
I have never known

The next day
might have a potential
of an endless river
seeming surreal

So, I climb on the bodies
of those who failed
to carve out...
and uncertain way.
Ananya Dubey May 2021
It's another cold evening,
one of the coldest in December.
I hear the wind chime in the balcony above,
along with the voice of someone
telling her child to drink milk.
It reminds me of the good old times.
To forget that, I walk along.

You say poverty unsettles you,
but each cold night, you recount to me,
Amidst the usual tears,
the same old tale of how you raised me.
How, even this house here seems unreal.

You talk of how even milk was a luxury,
And how we didn't have a warm bed.
But you recount how you still,
sent me to a school well beyond our worth,
because you had high hopes for me.

You say poverty unsettles you,
but each time you talk,
I can only remember you,
working two jobs with vigour,
On a half empty stomach.
For as long as I can remember,
you barely had two square meals a day.
Sometimes I wondered how someone,
with so small a frame, work so hard.

Sometimes in a fit of sadness,
I tell you that you never understood me.
But regret is greater than anger and
It disappoints me to disappoint you.
So, I keep those accusations inside.

You say poverty unsettles you,
As you recount long summer nights,
Without a fan to our aid,
And evenings lit with candles,
Because electricity was a luxury.

You tell me how I was a delightful kid,
never complaining of the heat.
Eating whatever was given,
sleeping however harsh the weather was,
smiling and being cheerful.
And I wonder if I you'd believe me,
if I tell you the truth.

You narrate tales of all the shacks
that we inhabited and made our home,
only to move out again, soon.
You told me how your books,
were the only thing that kept you going.
You scoff at the idea of hobbies.
You say you killed all of them to survive.

Resting on this warm bed,
Sometimes seems so unreal,
That I stay awake almost all nights.
Maybe I wasn't made for this comfort.
You say poverty unsettles you.
But I wonder if that is what
Would actually settle me.
Ananya Dubey Jan 2019
Blank….it’s all blank inside.

But, there is a void that I hide

Deep down in the folds of the heart

there is pain, but, where do I start?



From the beginning, end or the middle?

or wherever one can place the needle.

How can I talk?

When I can hardly walk…



How should I narrate my tale?

Each time i try but, only to fail.

Should i talk of my bruises or the razor I’ve stashed away?

Or the things I wanted to, but, could never say.



Or should I tell you about the times…

When I let my tears dry up inside?

Or those unspoken rhymes

which under my pillow I hide…..
Ananya Dubey Nov 2018
In the darkest hours,
of the night so long
secrets unfold
like an unsung song.

Slowly, gradually,
a syllable- a note
tuned- untuned
the music will float.

Emotions, Feelings,
of the heart that's pure.
reflecting on dealings,
of life, that's sure.

Going forth
till the break of dawn,
the heart's oath,
that will go on....
Ananya Dubey Sep 2019
She deftly lifts the veil,
and the view startles me.
No, not the exquisite beauty...
but the scars that I see.

And she smiles coyly,
for a secret she's revealed.
But under that pretty smile,
there are tears concealed.

She lets the veil fall...
"No one else knows" she says.
And from the girl in the mirror,
she slowly parts ways
Ananya Dubey Jan 2019
Chaos;
not just outside,
but inside too.

Words;
spoke too much,
understood a few.

Destroy;
the walls around,
and open the shell.

Speak;
Not just for you,
but for others as well.
Ananya Dubey Oct 2018
When the words we speak
Just don’t tumble out
When the future looks bleak
and the soul shouts out
When dreams and desires
aren’t there any more
And all one wants is a heart that’s pure
When there is grief
as heavy as a stone
And those meetings brief
while you walk alone
When all you want is a good day ahead
just plop down on the pillow and go to bed
Just close your eyes and try to rest
and think of my words, which are for the best….
Just a few thoughts about the challenges of everyday life faced by many....
Ananya Dubey May 2021
The little girl stares at me from the album,
her smile remaining steady as
I flip the pages steadily.
She resides in a house,
I don't wish to visit anymore.
A house where age old laughter
still rings from the corners.
Where stories emerge from
under the bed, at bedtime
and the demons fail to appear.
Where somehow the sorrows,
just need a smile to disappear...
And as one walks down
the aisles of this house,
one can't help but want to go back.
But treading on shattered shards of time,
has never been worthwhile, has it?
Ananya Dubey May 2021
The coffee has gone cold already,
a layer of cream silently settling itself,
just as I settle myself in a corner, silently...
a book between my thumb and forefinger,
but I'm not reading.
The sun has set long back,
maybe some two hours back
and I realize that by the darkening room.
Somehow, even the darkened room
is a sort of comfort, a solace.
I keep staring at the clock in a fix.
The handles never move, it lays still
just like the thumping of my heart,
which feels numb after all this time.
Paulo Coelho screams from the paperback
which I hold a tad bit too tightly
scared of letting go of one more aspect.
He tells me of the Zahir
and makes me realize once more
that I lost my Zahir.
I feel myself moving unwittingly to my desk
gulping down the coffee in a go
and taking out my diary,
I scribble something that's incomprehensible, even to me...
"The world isn't a wish granting factory "
The poster screams at me
from across the wall.
I nod with a heavy heart, "But we all wish it was, don't we?"

— The End —