My life was
an open book.
You just forgot
to read a few chapters.

You are handsome boy
Sitting with her
In front of me
Light plays well
And gets drunk on your edges

I want my son to grow up as you
In the meantime
I like to see you
Get a little bit drunk
On your cappricios
And shining face.

A blue day today
But I wrote a couple of verses
And I feel a bit better
As if I met a good friend
And I lost some tension off of these crumpled muscles.

In a world where we weigh by ranks in the society
The richer the better
I am trying to see my self
For all that weighs in my inner me
But at times
It is hard
I have hard time visualising myself.

I miss finding your hair
On jumpers you had never worn,
I miss the way our chargers
Plugged in together at the wall.
I miss the way you looked at me
When now all I see is scorn
I miss the way you seemed to care
The way we stood against the storm.

I miss feeling as if I had worth,
Finally, I wasn't alone on this earth.
I miss huddling for warmth,
Cuddling, chocolate and the hearth.
I miss you when we had heart
The days I would drive you home in the dark.
I miss the days I was by your side
Shoulder there every time you cried.
I miss not being miserable,
I miss wanting to be alive.
Mostly I miss being missed by you,
That sweet lie of I love you to.

I wish I were not psychotic
not to have this brain with a thousand weird functioning circuits
with a fantasy of its own

so I would be left alone from the society
that uninvited steps in my door
that goes and decides what is best for me

I met three today
I never asked them for a coffee
I never wanted to hang out with them today
but they shouted and screamed
what I did not want to hear
that I can not care of my son.

Ridiculous Gods

In clown clothes
scared of a different member.

Listen to this head
as it cracks in the weight of my thoughts
ants are passing all over
and I am but a corpse
running around
dragging a body today

did I have a bad day
or am I just being neurotic
or is it both.