I can scream too
I can shout
I can kick up the dust
And threaten to **** myself

I can raise my fist
And rage and scream at the world
Take the car and run
And splurge
Take no concern for my actions

No need for consequences
Because **** the world
I can go depressed too
I can sulk too

I worked to get what I wanted
And when I spend
Not with my money
I feel sorry
Because there is guilt

I did not have anyone
I was locked up
I was expected to stay home
Do the chores
As my mother expects me to

Wait for the weekend
Wait for my siblings
Only to see the beam on my mother's face
When her son comes home

It ebbed me to see that
When I felt like I couldn't bring joy to her
And I bite my tongue
Fight myself to think it's satan's lie

Home alone
Stuck in a small house
No privacy
Because I can't even have a decent conversation
With my best friend
Without having eavesdropped

I can't cry out loud too
Because they might hear
My room door is spoiled
It can't be locked
No privacy
No escape

Stay home
There is so much to do
Clean the windows
Cut the grass
Have you swept the floor?
What have you done the whole day?
That strain in her voice

Now I can't do that
Because I am miles away
But the anger is still in me
I didn't know it was

Until someone else throws a tantrum
That is just selfish
That is very selfish
I suffered too
And I did not have anyone to rely on

Though I did have my books
My old canine friend
The internet that sometimes harmed
And my dreams

This is my dream
Then why this,
Why this?

Of things I fear most
is someone taking away my rationality.
All the power you have
to so easily alter my mood.
Take my insecurities
'cause I don't remember having them.
Give me names good for the ear.
Hey look.
Look here,
Look at nothing.

This door that you opened up,
I never knew what was in it
until the light was switched on.
I was so afraid of the dark.

No, it wasn't a room.
I saw a journey, a road.

Now I'm on my way.
No, we're on our way.
And never a chance baby,
That I'll take a look back.

Because I came to realize that
You were my light;
You switched me on.

Ringing ears
Drop dead silence
Revealing fears
Under the influence

Tired flesh
Mind awakened
Spirit shakened
Day is night
Night is day

Monologue conversations
In an overflowing mind
Personal revelations  
Are harder to find

Verbal diarrhoea
Fitting nothing in criteria
Spreading like bacteria
Repressing hysteria

My eyes were glued to the ocean waves
The tides were strong
Clashing over and over
It never gave up
So intimidating yet so comforting

It was foggy and the sky was orange grey
I took a seat on the bench beside two girls
They were best friends
Then I realized that
Being alone did not bother me anymore

All that mattered were the waves
So strong it could sweep up everything
Yet so strangely soothing
That it lulled me to sleep

When I opened my eyes
The waves came to me
Came up to my neck
It covered me like a blanket
That strange comfort

I'm fading with the voices that guide me
I'm so stagnant
My mind and my soul is stuck
In this comfortable rut
And at this rate
The pit forming beneath my feet
Is going deeper and deeper