the whole world is just sitting on my chest
3 to 1 i take a deep breath
within the corners of my mind i wept
there's been dry humor
telling me to grab my own flesh as ease
of comfort
sometimes that is all you have
said my mother digging in the garden,
lodged 3 jobs deep

There is goodness written all over you
so much so

that i will spend a very long time
reading it all

i kiss every corner in hopes of understanding
how perfection can be so warm

caramel tastes sweeter to me now
that i have tasted the butteryness of your own

my mother would be proud
of what i have found

i dread stepping out of my succumbed selfness
where water puts pressure to thought
and to do anything productive
im not ought

i dont want to leave
but im told to go on to face
a faceless world

no one touches me here
and the walls are mine
the tile is overlooked and i resonate
time here isn't
and im never late

theres simply
the dull sound of monotonous water tones
to keep me company
and i want for not

bend over
bend backwards
lean over
yell these words from life
all different and quite the same
i'll live until I perfect your name

i walk endlessly around my brain tunnels
reconstitution of my puzzle pieces
my life is the whole framed and the game

of the tunnels i fall into the deepest ones
and try to transcribe
work that was never supposed to be mine

i will spend the rest of my lives
perfecting your name
letting my teeth touch, quick
a greeting for your Name's
arrival on my lips, a meeting
9 to forever

you get me out of my brain
i have learned to fully love
these days

I look at you as you look in the distance
I take you in as you sing nothings and somethings
tapping fingernails on your water bottle

I look at you
spotting the things I got and what I ain't
only things I can perceive

you remind me of what my inner voice
would sound like
isn't that right?

You have me thinking in future past tense
You've filled every space you haven't even been in yet

Eyes familiar with the small closing of the lid
like a door slamming shut
I'm on the other side

Foot steps leave and I am left
the cold floor pressing against my naked arm left
trying to push me up

Heavy,
I remember what I hear and don't
I fight, me and them
toe to toe
I lay still
my body will not respond to ambivalence

I find a calm sliver
the lid returns to open
slowly safely
making sure I get the experience

I'm in a different room
but my body is the same
I have been so many in one