Is time really the healer of all pain
Does pain really ever go away
These questions ponder in my brain
And the pain seems to want to stay

It eats at you like a cancerous cell
The thoughts linger in my mind
Things I need not dwell
However, peace I cannot find

A battle against my sanity
Nobody is fighting but me
Yearning for sweet serenity
Longing to release this pain and be free

To you my happiness might be real
I wear my mask just right
To hide the sadness that I feel
To mask the internal fight

The pain is so surreal
Feeling numb inside
I wish this wasn’t real
This pain I wish to hide

No! Stop! Don’t!
Please stop screaming
Im tired of lying in my bed
Beneath the covers hiding

Tomorrow’s a school day
I should be asleep
Instead I’m praying
As I lie here and weep

The tears turn into sheep
I count the number of tears
To help me drift off
To a place where I never fear

They told me I’d never make it
That I would fall without being thrown
A child just shy of seventeen
With a baby of her own

It was then when I looked at you
And held you in my arm
That you were what changed me
And I would always keep you from harm

Hell! It was never easy
The hell I had to go through
But I let my instincts take over
To do the best I could for you

I gave up so much
And sacrificed because your love
Someone you would look up to
Someone you would be proud of

Im sorry for any pain
That I’ve ever caused along the way
In the destruction I caused
To raise you to this day

You are perfect!
You make it worth all the pain
Im proud of everything you have done
And everything you will gain

If I told you about my past
Would you believe me
If I told you all the careless **** I’ve done
Would you judge me

Would you know I hide behind pain
Trying to mask behind the shame
The emptiness, the guilt
Its hard to tear down this wall I’ve built

How do you erase a memory
Close your eyes and it’s all you see
Nothing will ease this hate in me
Because I let you be free

We used to be so close
Staring into eachothers eyes
Just out of highschool, we were so in love
We were young and free
We had our future in our hands  
But your future had other plans

I never wanted to say goodbye
I never wanted to let you go
I never wanted you to say goodbye
I wish you didn't leave
All we have to survive are memories

You returned to me
After a year and six months
We were still so much in love
All though you were home in my arms
You were different, you werent the same
The war had caused you so much pain

I never wanted to say goodbye
I never wanted to let you go
I never wanted you to say goodbye
I wish you never had to leave
All we have to fight are memories

We finally fought through all the pain
The nightmares and dreams
We thought we had forever
Three children, a house
And a diamond on my left hand
But God and cancer had other plans

I never wanted to say goodbye
I never wanted to let you go
I never wanted you to say goodbye
I wish you never had to leave
Now.....All I have left are memories

You’re not my brother
But you look like him
There something different in your tone
And your face is too grim

Why are you doing that
This can’t be right
You’re not my brother
He doesn’t scream and fight

You’re not my brother
But you look the same
You’re much to calm and content
This time you have a different name

Where is my brother
Who use to laugh and play
Not the fragments of him
Who change from day to day

Not a day goes by that I don’t wish
That I didn’t give up on you
I was stupid and selfish
A child myself without a clue

The hardest thing I ever faced
Was the day that I lost you
I wasn’t ready to say good-bye
But God said your time was through

They say only the good die young
That has got to be true
Because at the age of fourty-nine
God took you

Each day without you is hard
I miss you more than words can say
It’s already been eleven years
Since you left that day

I remember sitting on the porch
And swinging from the tree
I remember riding horses
And making a pallet in front of the tv

You used to sit and talk for hours
Taking about the war and such
All of these are memories
I cherish so much

You were not only a a hero to me
But to everyone you knew
A father, a brother
A hunter and a soldier too

As I open up my eyes
There is nothing that I can do
All I see is blood and glass
My body doesn’t move

People are screaming and children crying
There are sirens and lights everywhere
The rain is falling from the dark grey skies
All I can feel is fear

As I look around the car
Panic set so I fainted
The horror that I saw
Left my mind broke and tainted

Im tired of the painful memories
It’s too hard to think
So to drown out the memories
I’ll take another drink

Parents fighting
Mom pouring ***** down the sink
Watching it as a child was hard to cope
I’ll take another drink

Smokin, drinking, and skipping school
Trying hard not to think
About the dysfunction of my life
I’ll take another drink

I met someone when I was young
With his consistent pry and just a wink
Selling drugs and stealing cars
I’ll have another drink

Getting pregnant at sixteen
My life changed in a blink
Living on welfare; living in constant fear
I’ll take another drink

I lost my mom to cancer
I was at the edge of my brink
So much turmoil running in my mind
I’ll take another drink