Amanda In Scarlet

Amanda In Scarlet Jan 2014

Pathetic
But my tears are mirrored by the rain,
Lashing me...lashing myself...
Pathetic
But the howling wind is my voice
I feel it in my throat,
Reaching up into my head,
Tearing carefully nurtured calm out by the roots,
Stealing my screams.
Pathetic
But these January gales exactly match my mood,
And somehow comfort, with discomfort.
I'm in the right place
Weathering the storm,
Wearing Winter's face.

Amanda In Scarlet Dec 2013

Oakworld (Haiku)

An acorn birthed me
The sky, my roots, wind, rain, sun
Elements of life.

Amanda In Scarlet Dec 2013

New Years Eve

The past is an old, bearded man in a tattered coat,
Pulling at my arm with insistence,
Meeting little resistance.
A Fagin, enticing me with Dickensian charm.
I always was a sucker for nostalgia,
Let me live in a fairy tale, or hide myself in history,
Turn me loose in fiction.

The future is a ghost, transparent, beckoning,
All she has to sell is the unknown,
Which I face with reluctance, with some fear.
A new start, yes, but I don't want to finish with my Fagin.
There's comfort in the misery of the known,
The knowing, roots me in securely,
Untethered, I may float from existence,
Both past and present, lost to me as I hang in the balance,
Caught between the years' end and a new beginning,
Static, frozen, fearful, tharn.

Not sure whether the last line should be "Static, frozen, waiting to be torn in two." What do you think?

Amanda In Scarlet Dec 2013

You win again

How can I know you so utterly and know you so very, very little?
You surprise and unnerve me
At every turn.
I knew you would be back,
But failed to predict this determined silence.
Now that you have the information you need,
You seem to need nothing further.
And I? I am pure need, willing you to reach out again.
A fool was I, to think that waiting for you to make the first move
would give me all the power,
I have none, I never did.
You have taken everything from me
Time and time again,
And still I know nothing of the secrets of your heart.
Maybe there are none,
Perhaps it was mere curiosity, that being satisfied
Allows you now to sleep soundly
Unplagued by thoughts of me.
Well, I remain in agony, thinking of you constantly,
Wondering, speculating, pulled apart
I've never known, will never own
Your strange, intriguing heart.

Amanda In Scarlet Dec 2013

My Hair

I have a new, jaunty bob,
And there's a stranger in the mirror.
Last time you saw me I had a short crop and a kiss curl.
Do I seem softer now, with my sleeker bangs?
Would you like the new look?
Would the change help us to move from the past?
You could pretend I'm someone different,
That the sharp cropped siren is someone else, long gone.
It might draw you in again.
That's not what I'm aiming for, and yet...
I'd be lying if I said that I hope you wouldn't like it,
And what does it matter?
You're gone. You will never again see
Any part of me.

Amanda In Scarlet Dec 2013

Game Over

You introduced me to a game that neither of us can ever win,
So let's just stop rolling the dice.
I no longer have the moves to bring me to the home square,
And I've used my only get out of jail free card,
Next time, it's the slammer for sure.
In strategic thinking, he can beat us both hands down,
So put away the playing pieces,
Fold up the board,
Let's declare a stalemate.
Joint losers,
Game over,
Time to call it quits.

Amanda In Scarlet Dec 2013

Another Place

Take me out of time and space
And love me.
Only for a moment
In that other place
Just love me.
Make my heart soar and my hands tremble
Let the tears run down my face,
In that other, lovely place.
Only you can take me there,
You know how, and you know where.