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Apr 2019 · 140
3 am
Alyssa Gilera Apr 2019
It's 3 am and you're still in my mind.
While you've gone with your life being genuinely happy with her
I'm still here, stuck up
Thinking about what went wrong, how you left
And how I wish your smile were still caused by being mine.
Ironic, isn't it? How I loved you so full that it made me so empty. How leaving me was the greatest thing that could've ever happened to you 'cause you met her yet it was my biggest downfall because I lost you. And even though, I wished you were still in my arms? I still feel happy for you because you got the love you truly deserve. It just hurts. It left me with a big creak in my heart--- the biggest void one could ever imagine.
Feb 2019 · 712
Pasilyo
Alyssa Gilera Feb 2019
Makulimlim na umaga
Sa pasilyong aking kinatatayuan
Bigla akong natigilan
At ika'y aking pinagmasdan

Sa iyong kaastigan
Sya namang amo ng iyong kagandahan
Sa iyong pagdaan
Kasiyahan na dulot ang aking nararamdaman

Umaasa ako'ng nawa'y mapansin mo
Kahit ang laman ng puso mo ay 'di ako
Nabighani mo ng iyong kainosentehan
Ang pusong palaging natatanggihan

Ngiting Maria Clara
Sagot ng iyong labi
Kahit 'di tayo magkapareho ng lahi
Ikaw parin ang aking minimithi

Simpleng tugon ko na ako'y mapansin mo
Pero ang laman ng puso mo ay hindi ako
Kaya sana'y malaman mo
Na kahit di mo ako gusto
Ikaw parin ang hinahanap hanap ko

Mayroon sana akong sasabihin sa'yo
Huwag na huwag mo sanang mamasamain ito
Ipangakong di ka magbabago
Sa ipagtatapat na nadarama ko

Ako'y umiibig at di na kaya ng dibdib
Araw-gabi'y naiisip
Kung tama ba ito o mali
Kung itatago ba ito sa minamahal ko o hindi

Ako man sa iyo'y may lihim na pagtingin
Akin di'y tinatago baka sa aki'y lumayo ka rin
Ngayong alam ko na ako'y itinatanggi mo rin
Asahan mo na habang buhay kitang iibigin
Alyssa Gilera Feb 2019
Hey, it's been a long time since we last talked.
It's been a long time since we laughed and shared stories about everything and anything under the sun
I've been meaning to tell you how sorry I was and still am for telling things that were true but sounded like you were the bad cookie
Frankly, knowing you, you aren't the bad seed
Maybe we just weren't meant to be
I've been such a neglect when "we" were still a thing
I may not admit it but I see it under my nose
Though I try to compensate it every time with roses-- rosey words perse
It was the inconsistency of my efforts and the consistency of our fights
It made us spoiled like milk
But that was over a long time ago
I just wish I never had to let you go
Wish I could say I didn't but I stalked
Everyday I still check up on you whether you are happy or had fun
Or just anything, just something.
Everyday you are still in my prayers--- no, actually everyday, you are my prayer.
Everyday, whatever I'm doing or have been doing, I still think about you
Every second, every bit of moment.
Call me crazy but even at night I dream about you, still.
There's not a sleep I've taken that I don't remember nor seeing you in them.
Everyday, even though I'm still in pain.
Everyday, I still love you all the way.
I know that you're with someone else now
And I can see how much you're happy somehow
I just wish you all the best in the world and all the happiness
Like what I've said to you before, you always deserve that kind of genuine blissfulness
I know she treats you right more than I've done before and I'm happy for you, both.
I wish you'll stay as that--- happy.
No matter what, I'll always want whats best for you.
No matter what, I'll always be here, in the shadows, watching you.
No matter what, I'll always be your history and you'll always be my bigger picture.
No matter what.
Alyssa Gilera Feb 2019
I like to think she was the right person for me
Night and day, she was the only girl I could ever see
From endless stares to her vibrant smiles
The thought of her felt so right
Though in the mix, fights and undeniable strong debates
She was still the perfect girl, the girl of my dreams
I like to think that I was the one that tames her, the one that makes her happy
But in my unconciousness, I was just holding her back.
To have thought that we were both right for each other was just a mere fantasy
Something I couldn't seem to gobble up until now in this very scene
We were both in toxicity
Yes, she was right, but not for me.
Dec 2018 · 152
Question
Alyssa Gilera Dec 2018
I never thought I've come to see the day
Where you questioned how we ever happened
Was it because I wasn't doing it for you
Or you just suddleny thought i wasnt enough, wasn't right
Mediocre ---- perse
I've come to know no belief of what reason it was why "us" ended
Was it 'cause of the guy or suddenly, you just felt tired
Tired of me, of us --- a never ending cycle of how can we make it through days passed
Whatever the reason behind, I felt none but pain
A pain I never thought I could end up feeling all the way
A pain I never thought could add up this depth
A pain where solitude? None could I find
But through days, all I could find was you
It still and always will be you, I guess
'Cause whatever happened, whatever will happen
could never be holding a grudge
And could ever love you true
Dec 2018 · 145
I was, wasn't
Alyssa Gilera Dec 2018
I was a poet seeking under the lost stars of your blazing eyes
I was the little child banging on the closet door waiting for your warm embrace that feels so nice
I was the midnight stranger who kept thinking of what the night holds when you come by
I was the one who saw through you when no one did by your side
I was always the one, but to you, i wasn't that someone.
Dec 2018 · 111
Last night
Alyssa Gilera Dec 2018
Last night was so perfect
You looked so lovely and good
If that was a dream, i'd never want to wake up, i bet
I was drooling so much more than i should

The lights brought out those brown eyes
Like each every pleasing attributes of you arise
Simple yet so mesmerizing
The end? Made me smiling

I want to grab you from everyone and every single thing you do
And have the best night we could have, just us two
I want to dance with you under the lovely night sky
And sing to you like it was a lovely lullaby
And just dance the night away
Wishing it would never end, babe

But like every other thing
Comes an ending
As i kiss you goodnight and tell you to take care
Comes the thought of you that i hope you are aware
Oct 2018 · 1.1k
My asymptotic love
Alyssa Gilera Oct 2018
When I hoped for someone better
I never imagined I would get so much more
A friend who can lighten up my world in so many ways
and a girl who I'd never get tired of, even if everyday

Call it silly, call me early
But I've grown to like you a lot, really
this might be foolish of what I feel
but everyting 'bout you is beauty

Those eyes, that smile, and your personality
everything adds up, making me happy
I might not say it everytime
but your presence is ever so sublime

The feels when I'm near you
the thoughts when I'm without you
sounds crazy? sounds insane?
just like me staring in the pouring rain

How mad cute you are even when I'm just looking at you
and even when you're staring into the blue
how I'd love to call you mine
but the sad truth you ain't never gonna be, this time

It was clear as the day
even though you haven't even say
we're never gonna have something
but what I wanted is in you, every single thing

And I'd never get the chance to be that someone
I'd never get the chance to call you my girl
I'd never get the chance to hold you once more
'cause I'll never have that chance that I would be the one you would fall for

Wish someone would treasure you the way I do
and take care and love you true
'cause it should always be that
loving you without what ifs and no buts

But I'll be here for you always, no matter what
I'm never gonna leave you, the truth is that
I'll always be that one friend
you can rely on until the end
Oct 2018 · 191
Untitled
Sep 2018 · 429
Night sky
Alyssa Gilera Sep 2018
And with one night, I realized
That you are my night sky
Beautiful as ever
Enchanted me with that beauty forever

Calming me down like a little child
Giving me peace that's gentle and mild
Looking at it gives me the genuine happiness
And being enough, a billion times enough, nonetheless

My greatest downfall, you are
worth it from the very start
But.... a big BUT came in
You're the one thing beyond my reach, it seems

The stars, those were the little things
The moon, that's your heart, my biggest dream
Your eyes are the blinks of the stars
And everything adds up to being so far

Far to reach
Far to get
But so sublime
Just like your smile

A smile that could make my heart flutter
A personality that could make me see myself better
A character that was built so strong
And a sense of humor like nothing can go wrong

And still I watch at a distance
Glimpse of it, I cherish, a ton
And i'm just grateful to have and see it
Even at a slightest bit

And even at a gloomy burst
You still light up my whole world
Like everything's perfect
And all good was set

And at that night, I realized
There's something far more greater than the night sky
You, that shines forever in my eyes

— The End —