Tiny tiny toes I let go
How could I survive be alone.
A walking pacemakers what I am swinging my arms as my head ticks and forgetting where I am.

I don't see a future reality.
Why are you looking at me.

Hold me in the dark,
but shelter me as you scar my heart.

Ask me who you are to me I'll tell you what you'll only be
You don't feel the same to me.

Late to run late to hide late to hold my own.
Late to turn back change my mind and leave it all behind.
I done you wrong like so many else said sorry said goodbye can't rewind.
Birdies flutter on the ceiling before you fly to the sky.

I just wanna find my way
You clever with he words you say
But if I go out I'll go out too far, way to far i'll lose my grip as I find the thr pain suffocating myself.
Lose the fight that's left.
Will the bitter be more than sweet if I use only my two feet to heal myself from this grip you have on me.

Little broken girl jumped in too deep
didn't test the water with her toes now pain as she walks on her own feet     but it must be me      how can this be    look at you so broken you like this makes me weak
The hear you say you just want the pain to be over maybe evenly to end
I did this, not you?
We?
What's wrong!?
Drowning and drowning each day as everything persists.
Please I'll do anything to make this better just tell me what it is?
Maybe I'm crazy I hate my mind lemme leave you and this world behind
I'll cause no more pain or feel it in return don't keep me in a box nor a urn.
I wanna be in the stars *** these days they are the only thing that makes me forget
But these snow clouds snow so hard I only see a white abis
So take me away on the clouds..that abis that looks as if it's light.
Slam my head a little harder so I don't have to use the knife.

This period of time which hasn’t consisted of a lot
A few kisses and visits along with the forget me nots.
Just one month can explain what all may happen in a year
Even tho it wasn’t perfect ”I still love you..” is all I want to hear
You almost left me once and that was just after a couple of weeks don’t let me down now I will surely grow so very much weak.

Downing in her tears
That monster makes them come alive the nightmares become fears.

One day it won’t be enough you’ll say sorry baby I am not happy any more it’s not enough and I’ll let you go because I love you that much
This life would become hell just existing would then be too much. I hate this routine and the distance even more but living these tough days  make me realize there’s no other person I’d do it for.

Constant fear is who I am
Fear of losing you
Fear of betrayal
Fear of you leaving me lonlier than that of which I already am
Who am is hurt
Hurt when you go out and experience the things I don’t get to
Hurt when you leave me to go away for college
Hurt when reminders tell me how horrible I once was
Hurt when I’m laying in bed alone at night wishing I didn’t exist.

I wish I had a compass that led me straight to you
It’d always tell me where you were that way when my heart gets heavy I’d make my way through
You are my survival the only thing I need led to
my beat when my heart stops pumping
You make me brand new
I’ll always need you forever
You are the only one I love
so hopelessly endlessly infactuated I’ll never get enough
Call me crazy call me needy call me lame
because you make me feel that way
but I’m a servant for love at your feet
I live to hear you say my name
It doesn’t matter the day
where I’m at or where you are
Id run to you in a heart beat no matter how far
you’re all I need and want
without Id be so lost so handsome you best believe me I am certain you are the one.

Us on a beach as you brush the sand of my feet you're so good me.
This must me a dream because I've wished for a moment like this all my life.
A perfect man beyond handsome beyond sweet and me as his loving wife.
This, you, us, more than I could have ever asked for I'd move heaven and earth to make you happy its you I only adore.
What a ride this has been one I will never get off of, you my dear are an inexpiable stellar love.

Does anybody on here have really bad anxiety or depression please help I need someone to talk to

Wish I had you close to me not just my soul
Wish the words were endless and I didn’t run out of stories to be told truthfully it’s not the distance that makes me feel alone but the silence  and lack understanding I own.
Your life different then mine and everything I wish that I could have the friends the hobbies the laughs. You the only good thing that makes me forget the life I wanted people that have left and thoughts that leave me haunted.

When you are old and mad don’t forget the good times we have had when the bills stack up and the stress is never ending don’t forget I love you we once said it was transcending and when you wake up your your bones are sore and you can barely remember the day before I’ll hold your hand dear and look  into your angel eyes  and whisper in your ear honey I've loved you since the day we've met I'll love you always my dear.

my world
always crumbling as i walk past
the tears and the pain always come back
dreams and hopes all put on hold
people who said it'll last forever...only lies that are told
so many times i've been left alone and in the dark crying on my own
when will it get easier it always feel like im left alone
how could someone so close turn their back on you with betrayal
strike you with the hand the once stoke your cheek
kiss you with their lips that now leave you dismantaled
maybe i asked for it
all my wrong doings circling back around
when will the cycle end, when will this lost feeling be found.

..and this i know without a doubt that i shall love you till the day i die and even when i watch over you.
Oblivion: my biggest fear, even though i know without a doubt i'll always have you near and dear close to my heart.
If fate one day shall take you away from me
or you choose to leave my soul would die it'd no longer be the same. I know i never shall give you purpose to leave or brake you ever again.
Jonathan my love, tongue nor action could ever explain my love and benevolence for you.
The type that never fades or waivers.
A strong hold is what you have on my heart. A kind that wasn't forced or taken by lust, or sin or wrong doing but with the utmost of perfection.
You my love; an angel a truth to rejoice in with each day i awake and to have you as mine an answered prayer. Thank you my dear.
No longer alone, i have purpose, to keep on fighting my demons so you have to deal with none.
The love of my life, my world my rock my soul mate. I love you with all my heart with all my might and all my being.

I had a dream that one day I’d walk down the isle to you. A tear would stream down my face as I made my way to you. I would watch your eyes gleam and see your stunning smile. But I ruined it all. Our future our children of which we won’t have not  a home together not even another laugh. I won’t get to see you wrap your arms around them while your holding my hand; I’d take it all in. So thankful I’d be waking up to you and hearing you breathe making love and sharing our lives but I ruined it all if only I wasn’t me. If only I could disappear.

I loved you more than life itself but I betrayed you. I told you forever and that you were the only one but I betrayed you. You were my dream come true but it ended with a nightmare. I betrayed you. All this love and regret will be the end of me because I betrayed you.
You said you’d love me forever but I betrayed you how many times Can I say I’m sorry and that it meant nothing to me but you won’t believe me because I betrayed you.
I’m gone I’m no longer a part of this world because I betrayed you. And I left a path of hurt for more than one. I betrayed you.

This was it this is what had been waited on for so long.
Glistening eyes and an open heart
that of which echoes thunder
It had been said it wouldn't come for many years but hope has proven other wise.
Dangerous it is being so close to something so rare and valuable but yet so priceless .
Not a soul nor a being can render the utmost of riches to claim what is her eternity and the serendipity which lead to him.
For he is hardly seen.
She professes she can feel the heat from miles and miles afar, feels the sparks on her tongue.
The meteoroids small bijou's skimming the pure scented skin of herself
she appears to cease to exist when being compared to his grandeur.
It is as if he is her and her him.
One.


They are still circling the universe in nirvana.
Her savior her life: Comet Jonathan her eternity, serenity.

My thoughts my worst enemy telling me things I should not believe creating feelings that should not be.
Surrounded by people that love me but yet so alone.
My thoughts all I have along with the heartache that is still there haunting me.

Just sitting here wondering what the point is in breathing
In loving
In existing
In being with you
Time of which we don't have
Touch of which we don't feel
Words of which we barely speak
Why are we worlds      away?
Wrong timing.

Each day a few words and maybe some love something to look forward to just a little is enough
So far away and unfocused we are it’s just so tough being so very far
Though my dreams with you will forever last I wonder if this time I see you will be the last everyday I’m so scared it overshadows my love  forever we are but still so far apart don’t know how much longer I can make it it’s just breaking my heart

Your days consist of stress
Loads and loads of work
But you are strong and push through
Your muscles hurt and you brain aches but you do so much it's normal you now just consider it you
You should be thankful not many people get to do what you do.
Just one thing sets you off and I get upset it ruins my day even tho I try to forget.
Days are ****** you're so far away.
But I still look forward to the future is it really so far away?
No I'll lever leave I can see you saying the same
But will the stress be too much one day...
For now I have no worries I'm here for you I wish I could do more to help and care for you. Just remeber how thankful you should be remeber all the good times and how lucky you are to have all the people you love including me.

one of which i want you to fill
but most doctors say the problem would be better solved by a pill
when the day is over and i stare at this screen i think maybe i'm not good enough and my insides just scream
no i'm not perfect not even for you because that void is me i'm beginning to see
i'm broken.
i have many problems that should be solved but i let them sit here heavy on my heart hoping one day that they would devolve
so i'm sorry if i seem needy i'm just so alone i love you dearly i'm never able to deal on my own.

Some days its a little too much
All the hurt and pain seems to come back all at once.
She closes her eyes and takes a breath and he reminds her again...
babe you are enough. There's none like you, your smile as big as the vastness of the twilight, eyes of the utmost crystal blue. Don't let anyone get you down there's none that I will ever love like I have loved you.

all i see is black and blue,
belt marks and blood stains my only view
its beginning to get hard to fight back the tears
its been too long
too many years
i need for once someone to listen
my bruises and cuts are what your eyes are missing
i'm never fine but i pray ill be alright
tears aren't the only thing that keep me up at night
i'm always hurt
pushed around,
treated like dirt
i dream of another reality i dream of happiness,
of what it is like.
If i keep on wishing maybe i just might.
one day ill find that loving home
i will be loved and no longer alone
but as i lay here a lifetime longer
your cruel abuse only makes me stronger.

As time goes by
things start to change
things get misplaced
many things rearanged
dreames come true
but hearts will break
from the past
we learn from mistakes
so we'll  hear advice
and finally start to listen
bad ideas will fade away
new  thoughts and better ways
will seem to glisten
you'll feel ashamed
and want to dissapear
with many tears you'll cry and grieve
But take it in,
you are enough
turn things around
you're strong and you are tough.

911
Were they letters no but only numbers
Numbers that freed their souls but broke multiple hearts and changed lives forever

Bright blue eyes dripping with tears
Little bruised body
Innocence stolen but hope never failing even though it would only get hadder for the bright eyed little girl.
One day she'd know what it feels like,to be loved and cherished

To be wanted.

"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

So I too shall be your purpose.

Feet first
eyes closed tightly

I feel it on my ear
Blessed to feel your breath hot on my ear
I hear it pounding
Blessed to have you heart beating at my side
Arms wrapped around me
Hearts innertwined

Nothings better than the slippy love. The only kind to make you fall hard enough.

I have a story to tell it runs deep in my blood through my veins the tale of a broken heart that can never be mended  no matter how much I love shown it will never be enough days spent  pacing back-and-forth  anxious my toes tapping, looking  side to side up and down wondering if it's going to be worth it this time it's like the anticipation of the tears is worse than the actual feeling of my heart breaking all over again. Trust none that's my story of everyday wondering if it's all worth it. Each little thing I love most slowly disappearing.

Rewind to when things were oh so simple, when I didn't have to take these drugs to numb the pain.
Rewind to when I said I'd never smoke a cig or do this or that thing.
Rewind. If only. Days months even years, how we could have made the memories more precious and the bad times better.
When my heart wasn't full of hate from all the hurt and pain.
When my eyes weren't full of tears
And when my eyes were full of love.

Soft gentle touch
Kind and ready heart
Eyes that only speak kindness

Firm unyielding grip
Crude and hurtful words
Eyes that prey after the ignorance of the witty

Time and time again
Effort only to be destroyed by temptation and the release of brokedness from her past only to make the future unbearable

Better of alone she says. Better of free.

Breath escaping through lips of deceit and wasteful air

Thoughts racing with the wonder if happiness will ever return to the life she once loved the reversed reality of now to when she could rest her head apon the beating heart of what she wanted to be forever.

She deserved better if only she realized that
   The tips of her toes slipped off of the  ledge.
     Poor girl met her own demise.

I'm in love with you.
My heart is yours.
Please don't leave.