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Alias Nov 2018
My mind is
A ferocious sea,
And I'm sailing on it
Inside a small dinghy.

The twenty foot waves
They
Rock the boat
Making it hard to stay afloat.

I surf on tsunamis,
And I dodge tornadoes
And I race the hurricanes
Waiting to be thrown
But I do not.

Finally a rogue wave comes
And knocks me into
the cold sea below
The water is so dense
I could almost drown

Instead I swim
With all my might
I feel like I've been swimming for eternity
Then the clouds break.

As I arrive to the shore,
A friends brings me back to reality.
"Are you okay?"
Not really no,
But the future
Is bright
Alias Oct 2018
I often wonder,
How you talk about me.
Is it full of sadness?
Anger?
Does my name taste like
Blood.
Or honey.
Do the memories
Of us
Plague your mind as well?
Do you speak of me
As if I was
The highest mountain top,
Or as if
I was the Marina trench?
Do you look at my social media?
Do you analyze
My every like
My every move
Looking
Pleading for it to be
Something about missing you?

For you,
I speak nothing but kindness.
For you,
Oh you,
Your name is still the sweetest thing
To leave these lips.
You're my every thought.
I wish you would
Miss me.
I want you
To miss me.

The impression
You left on my heart,
Hurts more
by the day.
Alias Oct 2018
Our love
Could end wars
And move mountains.
But it couldn't
Knock down the walls
That surround your heart.
Alias Oct 2018
When I bought this house,
I dreamed of your laughter
Filling these walls.
I longed for
Your voice,
Smooth as silk,
To soothe me
In the room where we'd sleep.
Since you left me,
Your silence is all
That fills these walls.
And your silence,
Is the loudest noise
A human can fathom.
  Oct 2018 Alias
Nobody
I wonder how I've ended back up in this position
dependant on not just a chemical or two, but
dependant on the love of a person
You see, I was not born a human, nor have I lived as one,

I'm used to the beauty of the darkness, for in dark places
beautiful flowers grow, but it takes eyes
shadowed in darkness for decades to see them
and to pluck them, one needs a still heart
that no longer beats with the rhythm of a living being

that darkness has shaped my world, shaped my mind
yet in her voice, her words, and her love
I've found myself slipping from that place
being pulled into one in which I do not know how to live
Here there is light, and sights to be seen
with eyes practiced to the sun

I used to believe the universe whispered to me
and maybe it still does, it's just that it's been so long
since I've listened, that its song is distant
raw, and uncaring

You see the universe is lonely,
that's why it turned into you, and into me,
to be embraced with it's own warmth
to embrace itself in its own desire,
what a simple thing we endeavor, is it not?

By becoming creatures bounded in time, and space,
we've forgotten our true self and along with it
the wellspring of love that created us,
now we seek it, although in lesser forms,
experiencing it with only a few
and the upper casts of beings know this,

Somewhere deep in our subconscious we also understand, and we know that we've forgotten it.

It's just that demons have embraced darkness, and a total absence of love, while we try to fill ourselves with small glimmers plucked from flowers that grow in the sun.

Demons, on the other hand, pluck flowers that grow only in the darkness, and those flowers have power over mortals, they will call to thee and under their spell, you will dream dreams meant for only devas, asuras, demons, and spirits.

This nectar is not meant for humans, yet in our arrogance, we reach for their stock and supply,
and with it we compose beautiful songs and paint beautiful shapes, we piece together majestic art and music that can open the mind, bend it, twist it, and mold it in ways from which it can never retreat.

We create,
Things that even devas desire,

We create,
Things that even demons devour,

But to us humans these things are toxic, they are too much, and we become lost to them.
Such that we call madness is a consequence of reaching too deeply into the well of knowledge with an unbalanced, ignorant, distracted, and frail mind, and in doing so, we forsake everything for the pitifullest glimpse of eternity.

In that place; only gods and asuras may roam freely; humans, on the other hand, are far too greedy,
far too curious, far too ignorant, and far too dangerous to possess such knowledge.

We should stick to light plucked from flowers growing in the sun,
because those flowers which grow in the darkness will only lead to our damnation, the conclusion of our race, and the manifestation of something far more terrible than any of our myths ever suggested.
an unfinished piece, not sure if it's a poem, a short story, or just a stand alone piece of silly reflection, I will edit it later into something coherent
Alias Oct 2018
Your name,
Bounces around in my head
Like a pinball.
My insecurities are the bumpers,
And my overthinking
Becomes the flippers.
I knock you,
Into the walls of sanity
Barely holding on
Yet simultaneously hoping,
Wishing,
For another free ball.
The longer I play
The less the machine lights up.
The powers gone out.
Game over
Alias Oct 2018
I still find
Strands of your hair
In between the sheets
Where our love once stood.
It's all I have left of you.
Since you went away.
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