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Alex Jun 2018
Outside me
I'm really happy!
All I do is smile!
Cause I'm always in hiding...

Long sleeves
To cover the scars...
Long sleeves
So no one can see

Smile smile
For the flashing camera
For in this world
You can't look sad

I'm happy, I'm happy!
Happy as can be
I'm so happy
So no one can see me...
Alex Jun 2018
Little pieces of shine
Grow around me
As I listen
To the songs they sing

"Another day another day we sing...
we will rise up with the sun and go with it too.
We are the golden flowers, in this meadow
And we like to sing"

"We are the ones that bring joy
To all your summer days.
So smile, don't frown
For many joyous days are here."

I sit for hours
Smiling like an idiot
As I sit and listen
To the pretty golden flowers
Alex Jun 2018
Deeper, deeper I go
Searching for something inside of me
Is it happiness? Is it fear?
I couldn't tell, I don't know me

I grasp the light
And I look inside
I see little people
From my memories...

This is a happy one, they always seem to hide
They stay in my soul, away from the others
The sad ones? The scary ones? The angry ones?
Why, those are the ones inside my head

They play over and over, intill that one piece of light
Shines through and gives me happiness....
My friends and family are those lights, the ones that make me laugh...
Can't you see darling, that little light... that's you.
Alex May 2018
I want to speak aloud
To the people who hurt me

Why can't I speak?
My lips are sewed shut

The blackness of my fear
Of rejection and insecurities

Shut my mouth
Make sure I don't embarrass myself

But I break free of it's grip
And speak my mind

Let's just say that now...
I live a better life
Alex May 2018
You've heard of clickbait?
What lures you in?
The things with all the colors?
What's all just sin?

That's her
And everything she is
It's all just...
Clickbait

She puts makeup on everyday
Makes herself look all nice and pretty
Innocent and pure
But its just a lure

She will pretend to love you
And you'll love her
But in her mind...
She wants you to cry.

She will take you in
And kick you out
Because under that mask
Is a demon of guilt

You thought she was just evil?
A girl isn't born that way
She does that only
Because it's happened to her

Over.. and over
Over... and over
Over... and over
And over again

And she's done the same
She is stuck in a loop
And she can't get out
She is scared of her self doubt

Her face is pretty
Innocent and pure
But my darling...
She is pure gore
Alex May 2018
I block out the noise
And I can't hear

I block out the sun
And I can't see

I seem to be able
To block out everything

But when I try to block out the emotions
They always come back
Alex May 2018
I hate when I can't come up with ideas
For poems or books
When I just want
To write

I hate when I can't sleep
And my mom gets mad
Even though it isn't my fault
it really isn't...

I just want to do something
Anything at all
To block out the sadness
Crawling from the void

Oh no... It's too late
I have nothing to do
And the sadness is back
Oh I hate when this happens...

My friends! Oh no!
They can't see me like this, I think
So I smile through all the pain
So they don't see me bawl

I laugh and joke
And be happy
Because I've learned...
It's not okay to be not happy
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