Alex - Hello Poetry

Alex Jan 2018

I sit by the coolest people
They always talk and have fun!
Why don't I want to talk too?

I sit by the popular people
They always look their best
Why don't they like my outfit today?

I sit by the nicest people?
They compliment each other
Why don't they compliment me?

I sit by the worst people
They make me insecure
Why do they talk about me?

Why do I feel so insecure when I sit with them?
Why don't I like talking when I sit by them?
Why am I the ugly one?
Why am I the nerdy one?
Why do they call me names?
Do they not know how it hurts me?
Oh I get it...

They just don't care, but it's okay, I don't care anymore either.

I don't care about anything anymore.

Alex Jan 2018

My Fake Smile

The voices in my head tell me things
Sometimes they can be good things!
They can tell me how lucky I am
How good of a family I have
How smart I am
Those are the times I am happy
And the voices are my friends

The voices in my head tell me things
Sometimes they can make me cut.
They can remind me of how I'll never get the guy I love
How I'm fat everywhere
How people talk bad about me
How ugly I am
How I need to stop everything
Those are the times I am sad
And the voices take me to the bathroom
Where my blood goes drip, drip, drip

When I'm sad the voices tell me to end it
Yet some of my friend voices are still there
They are the ones I can rely on
The ones that make me stop my sadness
The ones that tell me to put on a smile
And I am happy again

Where are those fun voices?
I miss them
I can't hear them through the noise
But I stay away from hurt
I try to create new, good voices
And that was how my fake smile was born

Alex Jan 2018

The World

Drip, drip, drip
The water droplets go
I count each one
1, 2, 3
They all keep falling
Then they stop
And I am left with nothing to count

***, ***, ***
The drums all go
I feel each beat
1, 2, 3
They all keep drumming
Then the vibrations stop
And I am left with nothing to hear

War, hatred, crime
The Earth goes
I hear every cry
"Why, why, why"
Everything crumbles to dust
As the world stops
And I am left with nothing at all

Alex Jan 2018

You

The world expands
Into the dark abyss
Called space
Where blackholes form
And everything is ****** in
And dissapears
The world is too big now
I can't find you
You're hidden
Did a blackhole get you?
I sit and cry
Untill you come back
But you're not the same
I don't know what happened to you
But I still love you
And I stay with you
And I don't care who you are now
But you did change
And you'll never be the same...

Alex Jan 2018

...

My heart is a dog
Loyal to whoever it loves
Loyal to you
----------------------------------
My heart is a butterfly
Fluttering around when someone is around
When you are around
-----------------------------------------------------------
My heart is a mixing ***
Contains so many different emotions
So many emotions about you
---------------------------------------------------------
My brain can't decide for my heart
Yet this time I want it to
I want to know if I like you

Alex Jan 2018

Abyss

I lie awake in the darkness
And I run to turn on the light
The darkness won't swallow me tonight
The demons watch me from the hallway
Trying to close in
Trying to take over me
I try to run
But in this world called Earth
No one is safe
Inside me are monsters
Waiting for my breaking point
So they can control me
Causing my friends to run and my family to hide
Untill I am lonely and sad again
And I hurt myself again
And again
And again
Untill one last breath
And the pain is gone

Alex Jan 2018

Glue

I want to glue my eyes shut
So I can't see anymore evil
I want to glue my ears shut
So I can't hear insults thrown at me
I want to glue my mouth shut
So I can trap the words about to escape my mouth
I want to put glue around my heart
So I can stop these emotions