I feel stupid
Am I even human
Just want to go to bed
Sometimes I wish I was dead
I think of all the ways I can die
Maybe it would help if I can just cry
But these tears are trapped
So I just have to adapt
Because im too scared to commit the crime
Shouldn’t I just end it when Im in my prime
I want to but I just can’t
I try to hype my self up and chant
“It will all be better once you leave”
The only goal I set in life, and that I can’t even achieve
Why can’t I do it
I am done with all this ****
Society takes ahold of everyone's mind
And makes them all blind
Am I the only one that can see
See how none of us are actually free
Everyone lives peacefully in all the lies
If I didn’t have eyes
Maybe I would be happy
But the cards I was dealt with was ******
None of these standards do any good
Makes people want to get rid
Get rid of everything
And you have to wonder why teenagers are always upset and cling
Its because they are trying to stay strong
Some of them don’t know if they are going to last long
We fight on
Wondering if we want to see another dawn
I’m sorry, but I don’t want to
Maybe if you knew
Knew how bad it was
And why I always need gauze
You would help
….oh….sorry…..your busy….
Goodbye….

Love is a fuzzy feeling, it makes you happy
And it's all sappy
Love makes you feel whole
And closes the hole
The hole gets filled easily
So everyone goes on peacefully
There are many kinds of love
And all of them will keep you above
Above the crashing waves of loneliness and despair
Does anyone have any love to spare?
I gave all mine away
And couldn’t help but pray
Hoping someone will return my feelings
I thought they would, because they are human beings
But everyone rejected me
“Just count to three
You will be okay”
I couldn’t help but say
I held onto the last of my love
I shove
It goes deeper and deeper
I repeat in my head that this is a keeper
I prepare to keep it with me forever
I thought I was being clever
That way I would never get hurt again
And I became wary of men
Then I met her
And in a blur
It started to rise
I tried to tell myself lies
So I wouldn't be able to feel
But I ended up falling head over heal
I realized that I really did love her
So I gave up my control and let my feelings stir
I became her friend
And my heart started to mend
I kept my distance for I knew she didn’t feel the same
But then I thought she liked me too, what a shame
Turns out she likes someone else
My heart melts
I saw all the signs
But turns out they were different kinds
Now I feel stupid
I would never get the attention of cupid
She deserves better
I would never be able to get her
All I can do now
And I vow
I will keep her happy
Even if I feel ******
I will help her succeed
And stay freed
So she can find someone who is enough
And makes her feel loved

As I look back I see how everything was toxic
I guess I have always known
And while we are on the topic
I gotta ask, are you still on your throne
Your throne made of lies
Your throne covered in deception
So go ahead and take off your disguise
And lay down your weapon
….oh wait
I should cut it out
For it wasn’t objects that put me in this state
You used people and all you had to give was a little pout
Your army didn’t have guns
But they had power
So every shuns
And bullies me to where I want to cower
The hits and words
How sharp their tongues were
They fought in herds
My thoughts in a stir
We were so close
But the moment you became popular
Its like your heart froze
And I became a foreigner
All those secrets I told you
Now everyone knows
I can't help but feel blue
I guess we are both at our all time lows
So I wish you luck
And just know
I am not stuck
Turns out I am the only one that can grow

Once upon a time
When I was in my prime
Happiness was all I felt
Now everyday I have to deal with a belt
My skin used to be fair
Now nowhere is bare
Discoloration and lines
Hurt of all kinds
They have become my comfort
But also make me suffer
I press them down
And tears rise making me drown
Pain slowly recedes and leaves a slight sting
But I don’t care and continue to cling
The pain reminds me that I am still alive
As I can’t help but want to survive
So I battle on
And fight to see another dawn
At least I am not bleak
And I may be a freak
But I will just keep going
Even if it's just me and my colors that keep growing

My breath is shaky
I'm going crazy
I can hear the pounding of drums
But it's actually my heart that runs
My body won’t stop
I whimper and drop
Curling into a ball
My back presses up against the wall
Trying to hold it in
I try to grin
But before I can cover my mouth
A sob escapes and from there it all goes south
My mind goes clear
Only one thought had to appear
Without thinking
And after an hour of drinking
My fingers graze something cold
I move my body to unfold
Now my fingers wrap around
Feeling like i'm going to drown
I slide it across my skin
And it makes lines that are nice and thin
Over and over, more and more
I hear a sound and realize its the front door
My mind registers the sound
But my body is still bound
The thump of someone coming near
And I won’t be able to stop I fear
The handle to my door turns
As the blood dripping from my arm burns
My mom walks inside
I don’t even try to hide
My eyes start to slowly close
She looks at me and she froze
I give her a weak smile
“Don’t worry mom, I love you and I will see you in a while”
I say as I try to speak soft
Blood drips down my chin after I have coughed
She snaps out of her haze
And says her of so famous phrase
“How could you do this to me”
I can’t help to glance at my arm and what do I see
My blood falling from my fingertips
And I can’t stop the words that fall out of my lips
“Im sorry Im not the one you wanted,
  My whole life I have been haunted
I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused
I wish I could have put life on pause
I do not belong here
So let me disappear
I love you
And please do not follow me through”
My words shake at the end
As I welcome the darkness like an old friend

Who is the puppeteer?
They are already here
They have taken over
They drove her
I N S A N E
You can fight but it will all be in vain
The strings are already attached
Our will has been snatched
Now we have to wait
See the next to take the bait
W H O   I S   T H A T ?
Its the one in the silk hat
The one that is responsible
He is unstoppable
He made our doom
There is no room
We are stuffed in our suits
I can see the roots
Its the darkness
I don’t want to be heartless
M Y   G R A S P   I S   S L I P P I N G
My blood is dripping
Every time I move
My skin gains another groove
I watch behind bars
It’s just me and my scars
My actions are not my own
And in this darkness I wait alone
Please someone notice
Before the people closest
A R E   K I L L E D . . .
HA I WOULD BE THRILLED
PREPARE TO DIE
Go ahead and cry
Say your goodbyes
Come on and act wise
These are your last moments
Didn’t you see all the omens
I am your fate
I cannot wait
I want to taste your blood
It pools in my mouth like a flood
I want more
You drop to the floor
Turns out you were the next victim
Oh how you tricked them
As I peer down at your body
You were not just a somebody
On top of your head...I look at…
T H E   S I L K  H A T

A car drives down the road
And it’s carrying a heavy load
HELP ME
The road is life
My dear cruel wife
The car is me
On the count of three
WHERE AM I
I am no longer in control
Because I sold my soul
Now someone else is driving
I CAN’T MOVE
And they are thriving
I am locked
I’m being blocked
I can’t get out
I TRY TO SHOUT….
Nothing
I try pushing
The darkness
I CAN’T SEE
Oh how the harshness
Squeezes my lung
Please I am too young
I DON’T WANT TO DIE
My breath is trapped
My lips are chapped
HELP ME
A coldness slowly engulfs me
WHY
All I can do is plea
PLEASE, I’M SCARED
I let out a final scream
FIND ME
As this all feels like a dream...
And I finally realize…..
I’M IN THE TRUNK