Depression is;

One day you wake up and decide you don't deserve to be happy.
One night you try sleeping and remember you don't deserve to live.

One day you cry in the bathroom.
One night you try to see how other people have successfully killed themselves.

One day you want to get better.
One night maybe you won't ever again.

All the things you hate,
try loving it
for once.

What does it mean
to be alive,
breathing? Why are we
doing this, living human being?

How do you feel?
Sad.
Why?
The ocean.
What about?
It's so pretty
and nobody appreciates it.
Are you sure about that?
Hahahahaha...

In sequence--
How do you like my mood?
Sunny-side-up!
Every **** body
appreciates me! Yes!
I am human once more!

What was that?
Oh, nothing, I was just
being sad.
Why?
Gravity pulling down on me
like heavy rain. Euphoric!
You feel it? So much
pressure.
Do you love me?
I love the planet.
What does that mean?

All the things you hate,
try loving it
for once.
You think you can do that?
If it'll make me happy.
Any other reason?
Self-sufficiency.

I was waking up last night
in the middle of a dream!
where the truth was coming to me
but the phone rang. It was
no one. No one
was on the other line.
Maybe the call dropped,
maybe...

Why is the sea so sad?

Conversations with myself
in high indigo purples, *****,
yes were sees assess.
Are you in love?
With the planet.
Why?
It's made of dirt, my soul covered in.

Dabble dabble,
turn straddle,
wisp tip moon hippie
I'm a *******
tree new faucet
running love spring kicks
in giggles

sullen street
hot stellar *******
shiny ball dress, prince
to the curb.

I drop thee, mop thee,
sell you in a ***, be
kind, oh so nice
with the temperature. Sing
to the walls
light
dances fast
that bores into your soul
catapulted slide-push. Mad!

I'm a ******* dream
in the night
when you can't sleep
clock cast
dope engine.
Chock me if you can!

sullenly...
it be cats in the back slab
****** took a dish to the
heckle baby laugh blab

hit me, fist me,
do a little hiss and be the
funny fickle fellow felt a
not a single dream
can be as loud as
hard *******

applause

Can we dance the diamonds off?
I hate this stupid life!
red, starry, **** so funny,
****
fan
fun
have to
laugh it out

Shake, bake, smoke, fake,
sizzle, slab, evaporate!

I'm going
I'm going
I'm happy
I'm happy

Are you real, are you deal,
can I have thy Neptune meal?
Feed me dreams and orange
stories, drink me apple
grass like rain see
flowers ghost and
I heart thee, ha.
Take my heart, my blood,
my wrists. Kiss me,
let's be ground with this.

Reliably unreliable.
Can count on me
to pray, to crave
my apitite,
I'm lost in
the forest but truly
be kind and give me
*****. The body
doesn't want my ****
but it's constant.
I love that ****
and cry about it,
claiming I hate it.

The sickness
with me so long,
don't think
I want it to leave
then what would comfort me?

You’re covered in parasites,
you’re hair's full of worms
like your eyes! body
blessed with bugs and bacteria,
vicarious ecstasy of being
made of vestigial instruments.
Its the human not so bedeviled
with spells
of quality.

Wanting to hear her
birthing him out:
six violent prayers
stuck in your mouth

Wanting to hear her
quickly fading
out of the room
to appear in radial blurs.

Wanting to hear her
mortal cry
wanting to hear her
bleed from the void.

Wanting to hear her
ascending to the heavens
for no one to hear
one steady pulse

Wanting to hear
the infant cry
cutting through the sacred object
of his mother’s design.

The boy is love,
love comes from his mother.
He had to inflict
pain on the origin,
the Goddess
for love to exist.

Wanting to hear her
jump from one stone
wanting to be a
lone for good

I want to be alone for good

Wanting to hear her
sleep with one eye closed,
the other is watching closely.

The thing is over.
Don’t make me
hate you,
don’t make me
**** you,
I’ll **** you, I’ll **** you, I’ll **** you

Out of my, out of my, out of my, out of my eye

Look into my eyes

I want to wake up in
real-time, real life, real high
where no one can reach me
but you.

I want to wake up in
real time, real life, real high
where no one can reach me
but the truth.

You and I,
your star-like iris
boring into mine.
everything else--
meaningless.