I am a chronic people pleaser
Because I am afraid otherwise they would leave me
I crave close friends even though I don’t have them because I want to feel being valued
I want to know how it feels to be wanted.
I go for people who don’t want me back
Who ignore me
Whose attention and love I have to beg for
People to whom I have to prove my worth
Because that’s what I know from the very beginning
I always had to prove myself, to be the best in order to be recognised
By my own parents
I am finding out the love I knew is not love
Love doesn’t work like I know it
And I hate that I have to learn it all over again when Im grown up.