I know... I know.... I know
I know it’s not right
But... I am happy
It’s a very rare happiness
A happiness- though abashed
by the weight of a heavy conscience
Makes me feel so light within .....
I could fly ...
So overwhelmed
So full ...
So-content
I know the stakes are extremely high
Both sides
I know there are only dead ends to this enchanting road....
But I feel like enjoying the now of this road....
I know.... I know.... I know
It’s silly
It’s stupid
It’s dangerous
Crossing the lines of -
Ethics...morals...values...
Honesty...trust...loyalty...
I know all that
But for once
I don’t want to know..........

It's a covert untold, unheard
It's a maze a muddle vague n blurred
It’s to be buried deep beneath
To let the memoirs never be revealed
It’s to be trampled n trodden with feet
To let the epoch cease to breathe
It’s a series of captivated moments
Blissful, poignant, intense, cold
It’s an anecdote of devotion
A self-destructing desire…………………….
A reward a triumph a delusion -
It’s the blessing of an angel
A curse remorseful self-deployed
It’s mountains n plateaus n valleys & the deep sea…
It’s a sigh……!!!!!!! It’s a cry….!!!!!
A chronicle  - non existent
It’s a basic block of thought
That bore the burden of being…
A thought----which burst as a bubble….
Hah…!!! It’s simply my life----
My One Life….

I love you....
I love you so much...
My heart aches...
My eyes tear up....
I love you so much...
That smile of yours....
The warm one...
The casual one...
The comforting one...
But mostly...
The naughty one...
I love your care...
And your concern....
And your caress...
I love your touch....
The soft gentle touch...
The sensuous touch...
And that touch....
Which is like no other....
And I love our talks...
Talks about anything under the sun......
Our discoveries....
And discussions....
But mostly.....
The naughty ones....
Oh..!! I love you
I love you so much....
My heart aches...
And my eyes tear up...!!!!!

Every moment’s to be happy...
It’s easy if we so chose...
Every moment good things happen...
Every moment anxiety goes. ..
Every moment there is reason...
For thanking friends and foes. ..
For every moment there is learning...
As we put our mind to those...
Every moment we are growing...
As we live up to life’s chores...
Every moment it’s possible...
That we can reach up to our goals...!!!

It’s something about you...
That’s changed something about me.....
It’s something about you...
That puts life in every moment I live with you.....
It’s something about you...
I feel as though it were as such
That I live to live those moments with you
It’s Your eyes, your smile , your touch, your feel....
These are but - yet are physical things
I feel so deep a connect with you
I feel you know me better than me
Sometimes you shock me
by revealing the most intimate inner most voice
Sometimes I am awed
At the way you read me
like a favorite poem or a dear quote
You recite the exact me with your words....
You reach you touch you feel you see
My soul.....
Which no one has ever dared to do
Not even me -
I keep wondering
How do you do it.......
But again -
That’s something about you....!!!!!

Yes it’s there in me I hear....
The tiny voice
It has a name
“Conscience”
It speaks to me in a soft tone
A soft deafening tone
Telling me
Threatening me
Warning me
Accusing me
Cursing me
Reminding me
Guiding me
Showing me
My true face
Ugly... scary...
Urging me to see a mirror
I close my eyes
I close my ears
I close my heart
I close my soul
I avoid
I run away
I ignore
Until it’s silenced
A deathly deafening silence......

#Mine #English work

Dilemma

This pumping of heart and the mind unrest
The wants, the needs, the urge, the quest
The thoughts, the feelings, the desire, the filth
The never ending cycle of pleasure and guilt

I see his face and I feel so bad
He’s a wonderful man and a lovely dad
The trust the love and all these years
My gift to him will be pain and tears

When I see myself in the mirror now
I feel like a stranger i am somehow
I am awed by me I am scared of me
The face I see seems so ugly

When I started off I was a girl so nice
How I ended up in this world of vice
Yet do I want to stop and take a turn..??
Not yet...oh hell...there’s more I yearn

I feel a pull like I’ve never felt
His words, his thoughts make my heart melt
I cannot resist I have tried and failed
He makes me feel reborn, unveiled

I fight a battle each sec each day
A Dilemma I face in every way
I cry ...I curse...I seek...I crave
And.....I worry about that moment in grave