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Ain Jul 2018
.....and they talk of their father.....and all the love that holds their heart.....softly she says “I miss him....”

Softly I say, “me too.”
Ain Jul 2018
Yes.
I am.
I truly am.
I am happy.

There’s always a quest.
A quest of there instead of here.
That instead of this.
Then instead of now.
That way instead of this way.
That one instead of this one.
But with all the “here”, “this”, “now”, “this way”, “this one” I am happy.
Coz that’s my recipe to be so.
Nothing different.
That’s the perfect composition of my life.

Yes.
I am.
I truly am.
I am grateful.

For all the imperfections as much as the perfections.
For all the failures as much as the successes.
For all the heartbreaks as much as the happinesses.
For all the wrongs as much as the rights.
For all the I don’t haves as much as the I haves.
For all the unanswered prayers as much as the answered prayers.

Coz that’s what makes me - me.

And I wouldn’t change a thing.
Ain Jul 2018
You texted and talked....
Even slightly stalked...

You exalted praise...
What an ego raise...

You said you loved...
So I thought you loved....

You fussed and cared...
So I thought you cared...

You pledged you sweared...
And so slowly I dared...

I loosened the grip...
I let my heart trip..,

At first all said...
Was sweetness spread...

My thoughts my words...
Were chirping birds...

For hours and hours....
And hours and hours...

We’d talk and chat....
Timeless was that....

All of a sudden....
I turned to burden....

Abrupt it was....
Didn’t know the cause....

So bitter you turned....
My heart it burnt....

All sweet turned sour....
Every minute every hour....

It stabbed my soul...
Esse shaken whole...

I tried to reach...
To know to preach...

Just why and what...
That’s all I sought...

So vague so weird...
So strangely severed...

I longed so much...
For a wordly touch...

Please just one word...
I yearned for a word....

Silence only...
**** the melancholy...

It dawned on me..,
Just played did thee...

Those words were fake...
My mind did wake...

Metamorphosed am I...
Now I no more sigh....

Now am not the same.....
I evolved in your game....
Ain Jul 2018
The vision of your words can read through my core...
My naked existence sighted,
Just not deep thru yet.....

Wrap me in your words give me refuge in your insane creations. ....
Veil my exposure, becloud in your  sphere of phrase. ...

Outlined in alluring aesthetic grace....
Let the meaning give soul to the expression of me.....
Ain Jul 2018
It’s not you.....its me.....
It’s just me.....
I don’t blame you for what you said....
I only blame me for how it felt.....
I don’t blame you for the way you’ve been....
It’s only just me for I let it touch me...
I know you were just you.....
I know I failed my own self in doing the same....
In being me.....
I allowed your essence to mingle my soul....
Careless I was I didn’t see the inevitable ....
The hazard....the danger....the evil....the darkness...
I allowed your venom to work it’s way....
Within me....inside me.....
A venom so lethal....so vile....so vicious...
A venom you named previously as “love”
Ain Jul 2018
Do you love me enough to be the cold snowflake to soothe the burning heat in me. ...???

Do you love me enough to feel me all over feel me deep inside yet keep away from touching me...???

Do you love me enough to long with burning thirst yet quench it not in me ....???

Do you love me enough to let your passion starve to feed the passion in me...??

Do you love me enough to let me be "silly" and yet you stick to me.....???

Do you love me enough to see my twisted claws and yet feel no disgust or pity in me...???

Do you love me enough for me to show you my scars and yet you won’t turn your back to me...????

Do you love me enough to sign up for torture yet not let that smile evade me...????

Do you love me enough to be my insane inspiration and never even think you’d leave me....???
Ain Jul 2018
When you see it just all too clearly...
When the glass is cleaned of it’s painted glee....
When you see the truth undress it’s lies....
When it makes real sense all the tears and cries....
When you see beyond how it all looks.....
When you finally read the unwritten books.....
When you see the bare devoid of flare....
When the real to fake gives a doting dare.....
When you know for sure it happened why....
Oh life then feels like such a big lie......
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