Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
11h · 11
Lost in repetition
Green 11h
I have this imagine in my head
of how my life should be lived
where almost every action
every breath
every second
is filled with purpose
gratitude
and presence

But as I look back at
these piles of memories
as I read through my journals
I realise that time has passed
new memories have been made
and in many ways, I’ve grown
yet, I’m still stuck
stuck in this loop
of rebuilding and burning bridges

Just like that
time flew by
And somewhere along the way
I lost track
I’m terrified
so utterly afraid
that my future will meet the same fate

They say that until
a problem truly has been dealt with
it will return
with the same force
in different situations
but the same endings

Will I end up
creating another illusion of change?
Will this character of mine
always be flawed
haunted by what ifs,
Regrets?

Will I lose myself
once more
in this circle of repetition  

I tell myself
it’s time to let go,
It’s time to let go,
It’s time to let go.
Yet somehow, I never truly let go

Why is this time different?
2d · 27
Echoes of you
Green 2d
They say ignorance is bliss
and for a moment
I almost regretted our kiss

They say to love and lose
Is better than never loving at all
But some days
I can’t help but disagree

I thought I’d grown used
to living without you
This emptiness once hollow
now filled with the weight of my own
presence
no longer craving your touch
Your voice
Your need

Yet still
These memories keep creeping in
slipping through the cracks I swore I
sealed
a shadow that never fades
haunting the quiet moments
whispering your name

All these **** poems
I’ve written about you
They drag me through time
Back to a place  
Where your love was mine
5d · 79
Oh poetry
Green 5d
Oh poetry
my dear, sweet poetry
my only solace
will you speak to me?
Do you need me,
As I need you?
The words stick
clinging like glue,
and though they call me a poet
I am nothing without you
Oh poetry
My dear poetry,
Will you save me once more?
5d · 26
Untitled
Green 5d
She wrote me poems,
promised to give me whatever my heart desired,
wanted all of me in return.
I never felt the need to shrink,
there was always room for us both.

She was kind, caring,
utterly passionate—
and when the universe conspired against us,
she found a loophole.

My words never dried
in her quiet curiosity,
not like they did with you.
She longed for me,
craved my presence,
just as I once did with you.

She’s everything you’re not,
and though my soul feels safe,
my heart is warm,
held in comfort,
she’s not you.
5d · 293
Untitled
Green 5d
perhaps she was lost in thought
publicly losing herself
letting vulnerability
quietly consume her eyes
for mere seconds
only to vanish
before anyone could notice
6d · 27
Ghost of you
Green 6d
I find myself talking to the ghost of you
along the way
breaking promises I made to myself
I don’t know how I ended up here again
how I’ve returned to this miserable habit
of keeping you alive in my mind

I fill my thoughts with images of you and him
She’s moved on, for God's sake.
I remind myself, over and over
Still, I catch my eyes searching the sky
at least were under the same stars
thats what you always said
I wonder if you remember

Do you think of me when you look up?
Do you remember the things we said
when we were madly in love
when our hearts were intertwined
torn into pieces only we could fit together
or is he all that’s left of you now?
7d · 31
This is the year
Green 7d
this is the year
my year
I shall put me before them
This is the year
I’ll learn to play the Guitar
this is the year
I’ll chase my dreams, my passions
never daring to let them slip away
not even for a second
it would be my only obsession
this is the year
I let go of the idea of us
burying the hope of you ever loving me
again
this is the year
I try to say goodbye to the distractions
chained on me like anchor rocks
pulling me further and further down
this is the year
I rise above them
claiming the fate of me back
I wrote this piece at the start of the year. You see, for the last years, or maybe all my life I’ve been trying to chase passions, to spend my time on things that free me, but I always find a way back to my old destructive habits. Self sabotaging myself, welcoming every distraction, every smallest bit of  satisfaction. Prioritising short term happiness. And as the years passed I found regret to grow next to it. And I just can’t help but wonder, who would I have been now, if I had dared to leg go? If I had chased my dreams? I won’t ever know that, but I’m still young I still have time I tell myself. I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll start next month, and suddenly I’m here, in the new year. And time is so funny and scary cause it flies by, and before you know it, those opportunities you had, is long gone. They won’t wait for you, the world keeps spinning you see, living, even through your stuck at the beginning. The world does not wait for you.  And maybe just maybe you won’t have the privilege of putting it off till the next year. Anyways as I say every year, this is the year, my year.
Jan 21 · 432
Words
Green Jan 21
there’s these words
that we used to whisper in secret
words that we claimed to be ours
now I find myself haunted by them
they are just words after all
words that used to be meaningless
before they found you
words that take me back in time
to a place where I loved you
Jan 21 · 46
Untitled
Green Jan 21
I’ve walked this road
a thousand times before
yet I’ve never truly walked it
physically I’m here moving my body
slowly but surely arriving the destination
however my soul
is everything but present
its losing itself over memories
over what ifs
those **** what ifs
replaying the past like a favourite song
over and over again
reminiscing over what’s lost
what’s yet to be found
trying somehow in someway
to justify the space between
where my mind drifts
and where my feet land
Nov 2024 · 113
I wait
Green Nov 2024
I wait
The clouds turn to ash
I wait
Trying to find another path
I wait
I look at you laugh
I wait
Holding on to the bare minimum
I wait
The battery on my phone died, so i waited. Then i started to think about waiting, which inspired this poem. I wrote it on a green school board. And as my phone came back to life i decided to post it here. Its been a while after all. I wish you a nice day
Oct 2024 · 49
Untitled
Green Oct 2024
i yearn
to simply exist
to live and breathe
without the shallow doubts
you force upon me
Oct 2024 · 55
Regret
Green Oct 2024
I don’t feel like waking up
showing up
yet i never regret the times i do
the days i choose easy
when the sleep consumes me
all i do is regret
all i am is regret
regret, regret, regret
Oct 2024 · 332
One wish
Green Oct 2024
and if the world
could grant me one wish
I would wish upon the world
that you are as obsessed
with me as i am you
Sep 2024 · 69
Volume
Green Sep 2024
the volume
you put on the individual
determines how loud
you can hear
the screams from their soul
and how much
of them
you truly see
Sep 2024 · 76
sunflower
Green Sep 2024
i yearned for you
I crave you
like a sunflower bathing
in the rain
Sep 2024 · 68
the villain
Green Sep 2024
the anger switched places with pain
and the screaming switched places with shame
cause i am to blame

nothing
thats what i deserve from you
thats what i get for breaking your heart in two

lies
empty promises
thats all i gave to you

you left me no choice
thats what i shouted at the stars
knowing i would make scars
Sep 2024 · 103
what terrifies me
Green Sep 2024
and
what terrifies me
is that i would wake up
far too early in the morning
spend nearly all the hours
on someone else’s dream
then dare pursue my
own
i wrote this on my way to work today. I wonder where i would be today, if i took all the hours and
efforts in my past and put them into my own visions and dreams. I gusss it’s never to late to find out is it?
Sep 2024 · 76
obsession
Green Sep 2024
I lack obsession
to be completely and utterly consumed by my heart’s desires
Sep 2024 · 54
Untitled
Green Sep 2024
You want to hangout
But you dont crave my presence

You want to call
But only when the silence is unbearable

You want to talk
But you disappear when your done talking about yourself

You want me
But only when everybody else is busy

You say you care
But you never ******* ask

You say I’m your favourite person in the world
But yet it seems you would pick everyone else

You say you miss me
and i hate that I believe you for a second
the way butterflies consume me
and the pain no longer matters
Only to be punched in the gut
by the truth of your actions
Sep 2024 · 826
Chess
Green Sep 2024
talking to you
feels like a chess board
i gotta overthink and analyse
before i hit reply
Sep 2024 · 63
your happiness or mine?
Green Sep 2024
She puts me in a box made of glass
good morals and comfortable clouds
My freedom lies in the shadow
and every time i try to break out
a piece falls on the ground
she opens the door forcefully
claims an explanation to the doubt
she cuts herself on the glass
and starts to shout
with tearfully eyes she asks
how could you do this to your own flesh and bones
Your broken and your heart is cold like stone
where will you end up when i turn into ash
your a lost soul that needs guidance longer than time could ever count
Sep 2024 · 63
memories
Green Sep 2024
Maybe I shouldn’t  
Consciously dream about you
when i close my eyes
Or listen to songs that match the vibe
its a miserably hopeful way
of keeping you alive
Sep 2024 · 65
never look back
Green Sep 2024
i wanted to delete
every single trace of us
so that i had nothing to look back to
our past serve like bells
with the power to
awaken a passion so deep
no other love could ever meet
So when your name consumed my mind
there would be no rewind
cause when the past turns to ashes
i have no choice but to light the matches
Sep 2024 · 556
words isn’t enough
Green Sep 2024
and if words could dream
they would spend each night
yearning for a way
to justify how deeply
I love you
Green Sep 2024
She was in everything i did
it was almost like
she was secretly
vibrating within my skin
not a day went by
when she didn’t consume my mind
i envied
the two birds flying
towards the blue night sky
and maybe it was
the summer breeze
or the empty streets
but for a moment or two
i let myself live vicariously
through the memories of you
Silently losing myself
in the shadow of your
Absence
Green Sep 2024
I should envy
your invisible ability
to move on

So for a moment i did
i flew down memory lane
regretting each second
spent on your name
and anger flourished
through my veins
tears they fell down
with shame

but then i remembered
theres something incredibly
poetic about pain
that
healing craves
the absence of blame
Sep 2024 · 54
what ifs
Green Sep 2024
now every couple i see
walking on the street
is a painful reminder
of what we could be
Sep 2024 · 51
Be like the grass
Green Sep 2024
and the grass doesn’t stop growing
even though it continuously
is being cut down
Green Sep 2024
i left the door unlocked
hoping you would walk
straight into my heart
Sep 2024 · 69
bittersweet aftershave
Green Sep 2024
there was a coldness
that lingered
hidden behind your words
like a bittersweet aftershave
telling me the truth
you never dared
Sep 2024 · 53
i used to be certain
Green Sep 2024
The words taste so
familiar in my mouth
but its been so long
that its full with doubt
Sep 2024 · 60
time heals
Green Sep 2024
and when the aching in my heart
slowly but surely began to fade
i clinged to the memories of us
holding them tightly
like hugging an old friend
Sep 2024 · 51
perfect is a lie
Green Sep 2024
i visited all the places
I said i would take you
i bathed in the summer breeze
and it would have been perfect
had you been here with me
Sep 2024 · 63
what could have been
Green Sep 2024
I wrote you a letter
that will never reach you
i bought gifts
that will never be sent
slowly collecting dust
underneath my bed
Sep 2024 · 53
the city of rain
Green Sep 2024
they lived in the city of rain
and ****** the Gods
for each drop that fell
and when people asked
the answer was always
never well
cause they ****** the Gods
for each drop that fell
Sep 2024 · 50
a painful sunrise
Green Sep 2024
not many things
can be spoken
with absolute certainty
but with every atom
in my bones
i do know this
every since the day that i met her
not a day has passed by
that she was not on my mind


it was almost like
a piece of my heart
forgot that she was gone
and in every sunrise
it looked for her
Sep 2024 · 53
believe and then receive
Green Sep 2024
believe in yourself
and fate shall follow
Green Sep 2024
*******
cause i wanted to stay
I would
cause somehow in all the chaos
i felt safe
*******
cause i would have told you all my
secrets
if they did not dry in your
lack
of
Interest
Sep 2024 · 56
a loveless love
Green Sep 2024
i have been lucky
to have experienced love
although sometimes all i feel is regret
I’ve felt love, touched it, cherished it
but i have yet truly experienced
how it is to be loved

our love was beautifully suffocating
I justified you not caring
by me not being worthy of it
i made myself so small
that i spent the nights wondering
If you knew me at all

— The End —