I think
Silence is not a sentence
Well it's a word
And i there's nothing wrong to be silent

I like it

Today
My cigarettes pack's still intact
The last one burnt,
halfway through and neglected
As i take a deep inhale
And just don't look back
Now i can exhale

Today
I ain't popping pills
Although my fear sends chills
I don't feel sick, nor ill
Bliss as the paid bills
On for the uphill
Accelerate like a downhill
Free is what i feel

Today
I learn
And study
No lies are on the line
I do my best, it feels refined
worries declined
Tho' targets misaligned
I'm inclined

Today
I'm defined
Tomorrow won't be defined
But tomorrow's gonna be Today
And my cigarettes pack may be intact
Tho' Yesterday was unresolved pacts
Now's the time to shuffle the deck
Take a deep inhale, just don't look back
And then i will exhale

Nobody

Nobody gives hope as death does
Nobody sets expectation as death does--realistic

Nobody teaches life as death does
Nobody remembers you as death does--royally

He always remembers
He never avoided
He always comes

Isn't that a character which everybody wants from a person
From life

Yet everyone's preparing for life
Not death
And when life goes wrong
Who are we going to call?
"I wish it ends here"
And when it's really about to end
"I wish i can do better in life"--in preparation for this exact moment
As the final lesson taught by death

is to cherish
not to chase it; life

Death is the only absolute
Yet everyone's facing it as if it's obsolete
So when life gives you lemon
You better call death "honey"

Maybe, i want popularity
That's why i hate it so much 'cause i don't have it
Maybe, i want to be a part of something
That's why i fall apart 'cause i don't have it
Or maybe, that's what i thought i percieved about being "connected"


Do you know what it feels like to be so disconnected?
Like you really don't know what's going on?
But everything's fine when i don't try to understand what's going on

And everything's on fire when i try to feel connected or be a part of something
Like toning down myself;
Well it's still necessary to tone down yourself, but don't do it for everyone? Idk i could be wrong

And my life is just fine
why should i put on the energy for such life that i don't understand
Just do what i know and be nice
It's not that I'm better than anyone
It's just i see things differently
Or is that what's going on with everyone?
They already know nobody's going to understand them, and they won't get anyone either?

So with that common ground they bond with each other easily
Whilst i'm falling behind 'cause i think about it too much?
Now that i don't think that much
It turns out there are people like me
I can see them
And feel connected
And it turns out
It's everyone(?)
Even though the bond is temporarily temporary
Now i don't have the grudge from people leaving
Or doing me wrong
'Cause i know it's their perspective
Or i just don't understand and just apologize then make terms
Sounds a lot easier

Idk man
But it's peaceful just to be myself even if I'm not by myself when i don't think about it that much

"Where the h is my key?"
"Oh there it is"

And then you are late

So it's either manage some spare times
Or just have some more spare keys

In terms of our conditions
There are no terms and conditions
I will make terms,
for all of our conditions

Lazuli painted sky looks sinking over the wispy cloud
My eyes stare, glaring over the thoughts of you--
Also sinking under my clouded judgment

The moon rises, shyly
Blushing a little
As the awaited sun sets itself over the horizon
I let my eyes on a lower gaze
Humbled, while the stars cheer over the moon's luminescent
I remember your scent
And how we move in rotation just like the mother earth
We aslo revolve on something that we deserve
"Each other"

Yet so far we chase one after another
Wanna be together
And when we're aligned,
there are more than one spectrum of eclipse
We are the star of that show, that night. Shadowing but not over-shadowing
Showcasing our love--short, dynamic
Eyes looking up in awe, on us--ecliptic

And the breeze kisses, time flies
The show's over
We revolve around our own orbit
Excited for the next alignment
The next parade.

Be ready to say "goodbye"
When you have the guts to say "hello"

I'm tired of trying to live like a movie
Findind and waiting closure and ambiguity

We get along the (path)way
We partway along the way

Both sentences for the same reason

Just because we need to get somewhere

Supply and demand won't agree
There's why negotiaion comes to play
And i will negotiate
"Even though how much i can't fulfill your demands
I will give you all my supplies"

We are all too petty
Nothing lasts forever
Yet we romanticise
The leaves fall and grow
Yet we criticise

Say we all do it for ourselves
Yet we're traumatised
Yet we traumatise
Say all the freedom we gave
Yet we capitalise, confine
The freedom extends to a limit
Boundaries that we decide
Which only comfortable for such

Say we got the higher morals
Yet we humiliate
And that's deliberate
So where are our so called high standards?
We attack each other just to be on a better side?
Aside from that, we don’t wanna be casted aside
"Go live your life" we said
Yet for those inabiding
They're super imposed
By our heart and desire
And yes, inabiding is not a standard word
I'm imposing the standard of not to impose a standard
So which high roads that you've been driving on all this millenia?
Yeah, paraphernalia

Same departure, different destinations
Just enjoy the trip when you're on board

We'll find someone when we get off

And let the journey repeat

Binar story orang
Buat kalut hati bersniar
Atau malah hingar bingar
Kalap hidup kadang mengejar
Ingin mengejar

Daripada miring kepala
Atau miring gawai
Baiknya tengok dawai
Dengarkan yang ramai
Dunia nyata yang damai--mungkin

Go off our phone for a while

Sorry
that waking up with me is a nighmare
And sorry
that living the good memories is just a dream

This is my posteriori
Somewhat my mind face me facetiously
I dont mind else's priori
Just viscinity
It's all supposed to happen anyway
Just because it's supposed to
This
Is my
LEAST ACTION
In my peripheral
Somethings ephemeral
or eternal
Doesn't have deep meaning
The viscerality doesnt matter
Aprroximity doesnt matter
They are just things presented on table
Over the table, clumsily i stumble
Then i mumble
And i rumble my own trouble
A cuddle can be a treble;vibration
But vibration won't last either
And i don't mind
We vibrate at the moment
And i appreciate it
Yet im ready to let go
Nothing is set in stone

My baby’s so grown up

Sight faces forward

Legs swing with stride

He commands the room

He’s in control
When he speaks
Everyone looks at him
None of it’s intentional—
It’s just him being him
He sees what others miss
Notices the shift in breath,
The way light dances on skin
He listens, he remembers,
Takes care in the smallest things
There’s depth in him
So observant, so detailed
He’s got this spark
A presence, a pull
He knows what to do—
And when not to
Taller than me,
And I look up
with my eyes
My heart
My soul
My mind

up above the curve, the foliage stays evergreen
it is gapped evenly and bristles
i traced them with my fingers
see if it sways with the pressure
The sweet and musky clove
points to the entrance
i run to it with no hesitation

NaBeLoved

Solace
Sometimes aced
Sometimes iced--cold
No raw salmon and mango
Cause i just need one--person--to mingle

And this crossroad feels like waiting for the next book
A series of unfortunate events?
What's the new chapter?

Highlighting quotes and explanations
Either in hindsight
Or to put on some sparks
Stark contrasts, stripped by what the heart wants

Zooming in on works
Zooming out on worlds
But there's one guy zooming in on her
And he'll try his best to say "i got this"
"We got this"
Tho he's flawed, just like when he heard her said fincher, he just wanted to pinch her outta her cuteness and how he's attracted to this particular equation that's so complex.

I do want to make her life as a movie
Make her live up above the curve. We stay evergreen
No bristles--angry, no gap--romantic
Tho it sways with some pressure
With no hesitation, the smell of cloves will permiates the ether
Yet it will be more muskier and sweeter
I won't let you at bay
Lest, we get some seafood afterwards
And my "long legs" won't beat our long journey together
And your cute small steps feel like the ETHER
ETHER in chemistry, of course
Cause when we're togETHER

the flame ignites and i cherish it over and over

Let's be a new chapter. A better one. And close the bitter one

Honestly?

Why did you start it when you can't finish it?

I was already invested
In time, and trying to ryhme
With all of your hype and hopes
And all the pills i popped

Still,
You left
Through the door that wasn't even there

Honestly?

Why did you even stay anyway in the first place
I could've sewn and pieced my life together--by myself--
Not laced by some words that a man couldn't keep--for himself--

I could've gone somewhere and you didn't take it

Well you wasted it either
Either way, your love ain't real
I can't go any further with a poser

Why won't you burn those cloves?
But graze the lighter on

                         GRAZE ME!

Then,
          You light me up;
Just to estinguish it
           With words i can't fathom
You are                                   a phantom

You don't want me breaking?
Fight for me!

Dont wanna leave me hanging?
Just let go from the beginning!

Or hold my hand!
Hold on to my dear life;
With your dear life...

Don't prolong the fall please...
I wanna wake up..
It's too                        dreamy...


But now?

Now that i'm hitting the ground,

I realize that;

Our last chapter is reasons over reasons
Your next chapter--yor new season?
Is my last chapter with you, and it ain't even

The (c)love's burnt, unevenly on my side

So YOU,   should wake up now..

I ain't pretenders

And you are pretending

Every move is deliberate
Every sip is accounted for
Imagery of you
Needs to stay as "true"

Hiding your bad thoughts
Concealing weaknesess
'Tho you have what it takes
To conquer awareness--or just ignore them
Once and for all

But the thing is
We want to be observed
'Cause we always observe
That's why we object their projection
It takes one to see one, to know one

Yet, everyone is on stale
The mindset gazes on the same stallion
It sets the mark of graces--millions and billions
Imaginary rather than your true imagery

Obrolan igau
Hanya bisa dengan engkau
Baik hanya pantau kubuat
Atau rabat waktu berkutat
Bersama, ku 'kan puas
Apalagi dengan yang jelas
Walau kadang tampak buas
Ku tahu ingkaran ini terbuat
Untuk kita yang sejawat
Selama waktu, sejauh jagat

As the drinks that we sip are running out
Sometimes i'm gonna miss the time that runs out with all of you guys

When you realize that your parent are the by-product of their parents

Now i understand that the bad things they do to me are undeliberate
And the good things they give are a full sacrifice--lietrally losing limbs, that no one else can give

Be better don't be bitter
That's where u become a victor

The mind of the boys
None of 'em were honest
Dreams of being "your highness"

Mind of the boys
Sanctuaries of misogynist
Where the lack of opportunists lies,
awaits;
Thou to whom our brethren submits;
Waiting turns on the next crisis
To rule over lesser emphasis

i hate the empty spaces in my mind
a plate where weaknesses lie in my mind
where baring wicked seas just a game of mind
when frost bite in fall season was a trick of mine

i ate a dagger lashed 'till it went blind
object; animated in a nick of time
"fragile!!", called the raven trying his best luck

yet

he knows heaven vows for The Only One

a leashed was caught snapping back at them
and a punch drunk me caught in a requiem
and i hate the empty plate when its time to dine
cause they'd have me scared for the rest of time

Falling through a dark thin cloud
His jig is up, our time is up
Hazle brown, dew bested leaves fall hitting our common ground
The golden age lasts for no longer then a mere season
Lest
It was golden for more then a lifely reason

the reason why "rest" lies there, raising rust rotten to the risen sun is;

the same ration ran by the raven flown to omissions,

grown within commotion sprung from a notion sawn and torn to pieces.

No enemies were ment for each other
We tend to bend for our lovers
Thus fight are prone to be awoken

we cast iron to the burning throne
We tracks our paths in abandonment
Circle round just to find ourselves

Our heart resolve, our heart resolve
The false omen will forever stands
Lest we act upon things againts our stance

U r only good for a weekend in fraternity
flattered by a holiday, blessed girl outta sorority
U Been handing out lies since university
Now a job for u is more likely to make a company
Now u aint skinny, u seek comfort through maturity
Juvenoia's catching up the moment u left the varsity

Man down
On the flank he's been hit
32 by 32 feet
Couldn't tell where's the enemies' pit

Man down
In a row of men fighting on par
10 meters march on the stage-less pillar
A romance better than Juliette's polar

So here's to the hour
Ignored by men in which by time they'll be devoured
Ignored by men indulged by grimes, lust, and power
Those men who think that dimes unwind desire

Turns out the hardened love sets its foot on the land of truths
Burning the ashes of a long gone man, pretending to be beautiful, tho she hurts herself explaining a stance nobody can grasp their mind around.

Been waiting for the longest time, then the first child was born and she felt a boost by the steep angle from her abdoment with a sharp decline of her adornment.

Hence a mother was born as a new metaphor as she begot the apple of her eye, aborting her dreams and desires.

When love is sacrifice and compassion means selflessness, then hardship is a mean to attain happiness.

070622

It's either you hurt me
Or i hurt you
Or one of us gonna die too soon

But either way, i'll take a good care of memories we make together

I don't wanna be constrained by what's gonna make it trendy
But i do wanna set my trend
I just wanna be the top
not followers
And i just wanna express it
Is it really that good to be up there?
Be the one who's winning the end game
What's after that?
Confidence or bitter over the new comers?
What does it feel like?
Everybody's chasing your position
Do you ever feel distressed
Cause you're gonna be self deprecating like us once the throne is taken?
What is it to be in charge but fearing something you can't control in the future
Well at least we know tomorrow's gonna be **** so there's nothing bugging us about tomorrow

Now there's                                  distance
                          between us

But we're still on the same page
Have yet to move on to the next one

.................................................................­...............................................

Smells like cheese
But i like it when there's something cheesy between us ;p

If you're not the fighting type
Don't put our hearts in the line

I love the QWERTY key adjacency.
When mistakes happen by proximity.

I mean to take you for a RIDE not put you the SIDE. By the way it's new YEARS not new TEARS so let's find the ROOT of our problems and not FOOT the pedal too much. I don't mean to get COLD i just wanna be BOLD for my statement. And i am not FOLDINg on you, in fact i always FIND us FONDLy attached.

But unlike the typos, with you i mean what i mean when i say i LOVE you and there's no typo for LOVE except for us to LIVE happily together. :))

I've got an online bestfriend
None of our circle and family intersects
So i know for sure when he dies i won't even know that that day is his funeral

Or could be the other way 'round

It's called "falling in love" 'cause it really feels like falling

I rarely talked about love
Because the word "love" in a sentence is really sentencing by itself.

No sparks, only riddle
A ceased ark, arcs kindled
In stark, on rubble
Ignited and ceased all over

Matchstick love, matched love
Likened to fire, the story told
Fondness strikes, flicked desire
Ignited and ceased all over

Torched knife, feelings scorched
Once melted, now hardened
Now breaks, once settled
Ignited and ceased

All over