How can i win this?
The battle that has been going on for years
Addictions always creep back in
I can't stand the weight of guilt it puts me in

Each time the thirst grows stronger
The more i try to walk away
The more it pulls me back in
I can't stand the treble when my guts shake from all the trouble

I can't think for a long term cause
Every second i just long for a short gratification
I can't get out
Too many addictions
Behavior sunken
I've been forsaken by myself
My lust
My depravity, it runs in my blood as if i'm the descendant of sin itself
Now i'm taking a toll
A loop in which i despise every haul
I can't get up
It's been 2 decades
5 years off now i'm back in
Even worse
And my emotions grow unstable each day
I'm disconnected from the truth itself
I'm a walking contradiction hiding under thin line of integrity
Hypocrite knowing no definitions of myself
Mask that doesn't know the spotlight
Lost in its own facade and persona
How can i win this
When the character embed deep beneath my skin
Sinking into my brain
Will i die like this?

Ugh i hate that i have the urge to text you as quick as possible everytime

I've stabbed people in the back
No repercussions
Nothing
They don't know it
Still come to my house
Checking up on me
Or maybe they know
And just put on a facade
I hope they forgive me
Because i do love them
I was just too young to understand
That the glass was shattered and what they were getting is the sharp edges cutting their soul
And imagining they know all of these
With a smile flows like breeze
Give me a sense of unease
Nearing the brink of getting caught
And the hope of mercy i fear i'll lose
Each
And every second

I
I
I
Am
Trying
To
Be
Nice
I
I
Refrain
Slowly im dragged again
Ķðiif
Now
Whatev3r

Can you guys stop putting people between difficult choices?
Can you guys just know your boundaries?
Can you just read the room? Please?

You don't reply to me for hours
The minute you reply,
You ask for something that ain't ours
No "how are you baby?
"Have you eaten ***?"
Nothing

Just go straight to complaining
Are all girls like that?
I'm trying here
Waiting for you to text me
Or am i just to naive?
Cause i don't speak your native?

I'm worried
On standby
Always chaneling my anger outside
So you can come home
With an open heart, with open arms
You can speak nicely to everyone but me
I only speak like that to you and my family

Dry nights,
You should go now or forever lie
I know,
We're tied thin on a string

Rainy nights,
Bite my lips or forever lie
Everynight
We're counted as sheep for a dream

Funny then
On your shoulder i'd be fuzzy then
But right now
My head ain't heavy from the pain