The truth is
You were dealt these cards by chance.
No one is out to get you
Or ruin your life
It just is that way
And that’s the saddest part
And you can’t blame anyone
But yourself

Let me hear the sound of your voice so
I can fly like the butterflies I get in
My stomach when you say my name

Let me feel your touch
So I can be closer to you
I’ll never leave your side
And That’s not a lie

Let me look into your eyes
So I can sail the ocean tides
Like I will with you
When we say the words “I do”.

Her childhood would’ve been documented under the stars in the sky.
But they wanted media to be her whole entire life.
She’s young now
But when she’s old,
Everyone will already know
The stories she once told.
Every one will remember
Better than herself.
There are no secrets
When no secrets are kept on the shelf.
She will watch herself grow up
But so will everybody else.
Everyone sees happiness
When all she sees hell.
Who knows?
Only time will tell.
Maybe someday she’ll be happy
in her shell.
Painted and decorated by the eyes of others.
People who will never know the struggles of her mother.
Maybe one day she’ll see the sunlight.
Instead of the shining camera spot light.

She said,
I’ll give you a hint
If you swear you won’t tell.
She said,
I’ll give you a hint
If you promise I won’t go to hell.
She said,
Does anybody hear me
Or am I just talking to myself.
She said,
Why did you leave me
Why am I here by myself.
She said,
never did I trust you
Not like I did
all those years ago.
She said,
Who are you now
Cuz I don’t know.

No I am not sorry.
I will not give you an apology
Because I do not lie.
I will not tell you
I feel bad about what I did.
I do not.
You obviously don’t.
You are clearly not sorry.
Sorry means you won’t do it again,
But you did.
And you said sorry.
And again
But you said sorry.
And again
But you said sorry.
You’ve said sorry so many times
That I’ve lost the meaning of the word
When it leaves you’re mouth.
You are not sorry you did it.
You are sorry that I made you
feel bad about it.
You are sorry that I made you realize
You’re carelessness hurts.
You’re ignorance h u r t s.
But the difference between us
Is that you said you were sorry
When you didn’t mean it.
I would rather no apology
Than a blatant lie.
I will not say sorry,
Simply because
I most definitely
Am not.

Suicidal tendencies
Tend to be relentlessly
Called together by embassies
Back and forth we swing
We swing

Called together by the seas
Sun and moon and stars we please
Tell the world our cross will bleed
Let them know our eyes can see

Fifty shades of blue and green
Colors not yet to be seen
Listen listen to the screams
Minds and hearts all but redeemed

I hate that my support system
Needs my support.
I can’t help someone else
If I can’t help myself.
I can’t cry for me
I’m expected to cry for you.
When I cry you say it’s gonna be okay.
When you cry I say the same
Only you say it’s ******* and I’m making it up
You say I’ll never know enough
When have I ever lied to you.
Why do I have to believe you
But you can’t believe me.
When I show you the cuts on my wrist
You say I’m stupid
yeah, I get the gist.
When you show me the cuts on your wrist
I kiss them and say I love all of you.
And you sit there and cry
Telling me I don’t understand.
So we cry together
Mourning different things.
You mourn life.
While I mourn my sanity.

Pain is a temptress
Dressed in all black.
Looming over
Whats not coming back.
Wearing her own mask
While she pulls out her flask.

She didn’t know
It would end this way.
But who can know
The end to a chess game.

Move your king
But I’ll take your queen.
Hide your knights
But I won’t be seen.
A king is nothing
Without his queen
Therefore I’ll steal
What you’ve never dreamed.

Where do you think
You can hide?
Im telling you now
You can’t mask your pride.

Pain is a temptress
Dressed in rags.
Her charm shining through
Her silver flask.

A beautiful girl
Taken for a fool.
But what you don’t know
Is that you’re the tool.

A pawn in her game
Winning just the same.
She’s smarter than you
She knows all your
escape routes.

Don’t dare tell her
To leave you alone.
She’ll just tell you
This is your new home.

My favorite place in the world
Is my writing.
It’s a place of endless possibilities
And emotional novelties.
I say what goes
And I say what shows.
I’ve never understood
Why some people have trouble writing poetry.
For me
The words just flow.
I don’t even have to think
I don’t even have to know.
At least that’s just what I find.
I guess it’s just my creative mind.

I’ve never shared my words before.
Just the usual fear of being judged.
But here, I am my real self.
The part of me no one sees.
I’d love to show this self to others.
But she doesn’t come out that often, even when I say please.
I know she will eventually.
But for now this is where her home will be.
I thank you all for allowing me to have this home.
And I’d like you all to know
I’m happy I can let this side of me show.

A part of me will always love you.
I’ll probably always hate that part of me.

You ask me to speak,
Why are you so quiet? You say.
And when I do
You breathe nails
Into my lungs
and through my heart.
Silence. you say
I didn’t ask for
your opinion.

Hes pounding back those Oxys.
Dandelion petals they’re toxic.
Bite down ******* that barbed wire.
So that inside you can feel the fire.
They say don’t take candy from strangers
But it’s Halloween
and I wanna change her.
Candy canes In your stocking
Causing nausea since 1990.
Poppy petals in your hair
Tell me where we landed from there.
Black beauty just busted the door
Her name is Addy.
and she’s taking the floor.
Hey we’ve landed on cloud nine.
Time to see that vanilla sky.
Brought back a couple of moon rocks.
I swear I saw a tic tok clock.
My favorite kind are Kit Kats.
Can’t deny that relapse.
Please get your facts.
No one here stays in tact.
My best friend is Cheshire Cat.
Don’t worry
we’re all mad at that.

He’s the type of boy I would fall for.
But not the type I would call for.
Wouldn’t bring him home to the parents.
Wouldn’t even trust him with the errands.
He’d be nice for a couple drinks at night.
But he’d be too stubborn
to turn down a fight.
Knowing him might be nice.
But Loving him,
You should think twice.

Accidentally in love.
Purposely broken.
Undeniably unknown.
Questionably sane.
Increasingly resilient.
Undone in every way.

I’m so terribly alone.
I may be “loved”.
But I’m most definitely alone.
And not to mention lost.
Oh,
I’m so ******* lost I don’t even know
if I’m swimming up towards the air
that will release my lungs
or down to the depths of the sea
That will surely swallow me.
I’m so lost.
And alone.

I feel as if I’m wandering
with nowhere to go
and all I have to show
is my silly passport
that isn’t even real
because the name I see isn’t even mine
and the font it’s in
seems invisible to everyone else’s eye.
I’m so alone.
I’m so lost.
I’m so done.
I’m so ready to pay your cost,
Your fee,
Your ******* bounty,
Anything better than this ****** county.

But I can’t run away.
I have nowhere to run.
So I’m stuck being lost
In the same circle as always.
Going round
And round
Until suddenly
everything is fuzzy
And I’m too dizzy.
And all at once
My mind short circuits.
And it all starts over again.
The end.

I feel I’ve been uprooted
And I’m just hanging in the air.
But I’m a rose
Not an orchid
I can’t survive with my roots up there
Hanging in a tree.
I need to be grounded.
I need to soak up my confidence
from the ground up
otherwise I can’t feel anything
but the worms burrowing into my skin
and the bees buzzing in my head.

I feel like the world is kinda against us.
From the beginning
everything happened
To make sure we weren’t together.
Now
while we finally are
Everything happens to make sure we aren’t together.
You said it’s not the world against us,
But it’s us against the world.
But why can’t the world just agree.
Why can’t the world be as happy as we are
When we’re together.
I don’t believe in coincidence.
Which is unfortunate
Because
my life would be so much easier if everything
Was
Just a coincidence.
But
Then again
Maybe the world wants to make sure
That in the future
When we face these challenges
We’ll be okay.
Maybe the world is just making sure
That in the end
We really will last.
Maybe.
It’s all just maybe.
Whether or not it’s the world against us
Or us against the world.
Something is against another.

I feel like the world is kinda against us.
From the beginning
everything happened
To make sure we weren’t together.
Now
while we finally are
Everything happens to make sure we aren’t together.
You said it’s not the world against us,
But it’s us against the world.
But why can’t the world just agree.
Why can’t the world be as happy as we
When we’re together.
I don’t believe in coincidence.
Which is unfortunate,
my life would be so much easier if everything
Was
Just a coincidence.
But
Then again
Maybe the world wants to make sure
That in the future
When we face these challenges
We’ll be okay.
Maybe the world is just making sure
That in the end
We really will last.
Maybe.
It’s all just maybe.
Whether or not it’s the world against us
Or us against the world.
Something is against another.

P.s. The world won and so did you, but somehow, I lost Everything.

I can’t run.
I can’t hide.
And I sure as hell,
Can’t stay here.

What’s written in the stars
Isn’t written in stone.
What’s written in the book
Isn’t written in bone.
Don’t let your stars decide
Who will fight
And who will die.
Who will change
And who will lie.
Don’t let your stars decide
Who will be next in line.
What’s written in the stars
Isn’t written stone.
And even stone
breaks like bone.