when you ache for the flesh of a ghost

Hammer to the heart
You smashed it apart
I picked up the shards of my life
Sharpened them into a knife
Cut my wrists till I fade
Into oblivion I bade

The bugs that are thoughts
Cling to the light that is my brain
They swarm to no end
Small bodies full of pain
Fingers remove
but they always return
magnetic wings flap
Light their only concern
Pesticides ineffective
The light starts to strobe
On off on off
Beady eyes probe
The glow it gets weaker
Darkness creeps in
End all and rip it out
**** the source from within
But the wirings too strong
The goal is no use
I bang at the switch
A desperate truce
Stumbling in the dark
is how I’ve learnt to live
The light is unstable
The bugs i forgive

Maybe soon i will be covered
in the blazing light that was lost
How much will it take?
What will it cost?

Something is really wrong
The type that is gut wrenching
Pain is thirsty for me
My blood is not quenching

Something is really wrong
The type that makes people keep saying
I’m worried about you
Until my head starts swaying

Something is really wrong
The type that makes me sick
Hyperventilating slurred speech
The ambushes are quick

Something is really wrong
I can hardly breathe
I’m trapped here please help
I want to leave

Something is really wrong
Time ticking like a song
Countdown to when
I end all that is wrong

the air starts to heal
and the stars start to listen
the tears on her face
no longer glisten

I was a captor of your heart
We started off whole
Unaware of the ending
Didn’t know I’d take your soul
But soon you felt it
The zip ties on your wrists
Blindly I tightened them
Gently I kissed
It got too much
Arms turning blue
You cut yourself loose
Zip ties askew
I was left alone
With nothing to clench
A captor with no captive
Love with a stench

ever since you put out of the fire
the energy that burned between our lips
i’ve been cold shaking waiting
from your sizzling embers i take small sips
but you look not of winter nor frostbite
while i barely preserve myself in foil
so i take the gasoline canister
try to drench you in my slick oil
hand you the matches eyes begging
please relight our spark
if you don’t i’m scared i’ll lose you
forever in this dark