I thought about you so much today
I truly missed you all day today
I love you more each day I’m away
Before I sleep for you I pray
I wish you more reachable peace today
I wish you unspeakable joy today
I wish I could be with you to say
I’m sorry for what I did yesterday

The truth behind white lies is a disguise to breed pretense
Facts dismissed withered by slick tongues and slithering souls akin to black crows journeying far to cover the coming of winter

Old lovers I'd like to see again
Different me(s) I'd like to be again
Since the beginning will never be again
I'm giving newness a chance to begin again

Thoughts provoke verbal aesthetics to self-proclaimed victims of the poetic
Taking meaning out of past moments
Learning from circumstances past the point in which they last occurred
Just because I write the words doesn't mean I live everything I scribe on the page
I have the gift to 'feel' so everything I write is the extent of my artistic range
I consider myself a painter for today's age
An oracle of sorts, a seer, a sage
I birth pictures that encompass everything you can think of from romance to pain
One glimpse into the expanse of my mind
Is like seeing the world from the sky
I'm a thinker
And as a believer
I write these scripts to help me see through God's eyes

Control is an ism
A psychological mechanism
That binds you to whatever it wants you to do
As long as you lack the inability
To see responsibility
As anything other than someone else telling you what to do
You lose
Trying to prove you're in control is a losing game
Because the only thing you truly control
Is the fact that you refuse to change

Its getting harder for me to run
Knowing full well what you gave
the sacrifice of your Son
Knowing this selfless offering
Softens my heart
I hear you why can I can't a small change
For never giving up on me and for the sake and gravity of your grace
As best as I know how I offer up this sonnet of thanks

What we see with our eyes at times
Is a manifestation
Of what's going on our in own minds

Tripping backflipping slipping down a mudslide headfirst thirsting for a concert of conversions some type of diversion from the immersion of quipping and nervous head spinning
My headspace races yonder
I ponder walking for miles deep
Thinking how I can make things better for all of us
The fussing and fighting constant bickering bitterness lingers from ancient arguments and disputes that never got any resolution

Blossoming where you're planted
Is rarely a vision upon which you planned it
When you're born you're handed a set of circumstances that marginalizes potential and positions self-doubt in your brain
listening to people complain about what they could've done had society given them a fair shake
Breed a ingrate who probably going to make the same mistake and breed negative feelings until it gestate a belief that you can't aspire or differentiate
Between a dreamer dream and a dreamers escape
Success is a gape
Built on the architects mind and a hustlers pace operating on a bridge holding together purpose and space
potential unfulfilled is waste
Of time and Gods creative
You don't  choose what era we live, out parents,
how much wealth you inherit
All you can do is use the vehicle God gave
Then use every advantage we can
To make something of our circumstances and be more

I didn't know love was made to feel like this
If this is what God intended for love then I raise my hands and rejoice in pure bliss
Surely He knew my heart when he granted me this one wish
To love and be loved unconditionally
To experience a love with the Holy Spirit and yet remain me

In a socioeconomically stricken place like North Omaha
Where all we saw were dead end jobs and dead beat dads
It didn't become clear until I got older that despite all the noise and distractions
God had a plan
In the ghetto
There are so many unnatural things kids aren't supposed to see
But you and PT saw a need
Your effort of good deeds
Sowing seeds in the cement
Growing and developing young roses out of concrete
Through all these years it is and I am evident that the harvest you reaped was bountiful
What you were giving up or what you turned down to be with us I can't imagine
But what you did for us was beautiful
Joy freely given to poor black and white children alike
Neglected kids
I can tell you in all honestly there were times in our lives that no one offered more hope than the you of two did
You cared for us
Kept us
Sacrificed of yourself to set us up
You both put us on a positive productive path
All because you allowed yourselves to listen to and follow Gods plan
Because of that experience I understand the impact on one life I can have
No matter where we all are
You saved our lives
You well and faithfully gave us a chance at life
I stand now with your fully grown kids and say to the two of you
We honor you
And without our time with you way back when
There would be no way for us now
There would be no way for us to win

we.love.you.

Its unbelievable
That a human being could be so evil
As is the ideal
Of advocating for no ramifications zero consequences
Absolutely no justice for the victim
Remains legal

I died last night heaven existed in a world that treasures the upside down
Axiom, I am living outside of my body experiencing living for the first time
Wrapped in a love that hypnotized my mind I'm flying paralyzed when I'm inside
of you
The depth of life become depthless
Drowning deep in your abyss overflows my cup
We sup drinking from the fountain of youth
Revitalized, tasting and touching you
Wanting nothing more than to build on an affirmation with you
The road won't always be smooth
But I promise you
Through tumultuous times I will brave turbulence alongside you
As I will in valleys wide
a sublime future indeed we will surely reside
by and by trouble won't last
It too shall pass
And just as I will write finding wrongs to right  
I promise you everything will be alright

I open my eyes to the sun
Awake
Full of rest I feel life pulsating through my veins
On this morning I feel exuberance in my hands
I feel powerful
Love in my mind I feel peace
A greater purpose for my life
I have found it
Again I say to you all
I have found peace

Childlike imagining
Visions of cotton candy
Looking to the clouds
No wrong just right
Nose wide open fill with sweet smells
Her hair her smile
Day dreams and romance
The two of you together
Unsevered
Connected forever

When I was young TV was my way away
Raised in a ****** environment
It provided me with viable escapes
Vacay
It put me in a much needed headspace where I could anything
It showed me
That I didn't have to be what I saw everyday

There's a deeper place of self
A richer place than wealth
A place where one's inner pretenses and precepts are left
A place where the secrets of the soul are kept

Rainy days have followed
Since you passed in the night
We pray for your soul continually
As you enter into His light

I want to touch, be touched by your skin
I want to feel what I feel when I'm surrounded by your skin
I want to feel what that feeling feels like when I've won your skin
Rubbed by your skin
Engulfed by your skin
I want to watch your hair strands stand up when I blow by your skin
I want to be on your skin
My lips on your skin
I want to warm, wrap you up around my skin
I'm so comfortable, so fortunate inside your skin

With a degree comes prestige
Pride in being accomplished
Enlisted in honors
Anointed by something not inherently gifted
A letter of distinction
Between the educated and uninitiated
A separation from mediocrity and something more
I don't have the mind of a socrates
But I refuse to be a reflection of the same old me
That's insane to me

Kissing never lies
It tells a woman everything she needs to know
About the kind man your are inside

Nakedly
Holding me
Knowing me
Like know one else knows the gaps and holes
In my character flaws
Deliberately, you embrace and accommodate them all
Who I AM
You accept it
With no prerequisite
I get to bend and sin
Fallback
Get up
And brush off the dust of my mistakes
Without being made to feel like an ingrate
You bring a grace and a headspace that provides me the space to calculate and learn
With you I don't feel alone
Like I'm just being tolerated or condoned
I feel like I'm with someone I can grow reap and sow
with whom I can dream dreams of incandescence
Holding hands with an angel staring far off in the distance
Watching river waves push against each other rippling through the gape
The infinity of space
And the hope of the vast beyond
So beautiful and great

Do you know it
Have you seen it
Can you touch it
What does it feel like
Is it black?
Is it white?
Does it know what we all look like
Since none of us are perfect
What makes you think you're always right

My childhood was hard
It was never easy
As an adolescent
I was needy
Rightfully uneven
I was often in my feelings
A center child is often left out
In response
I was emotional
So in turn I acted out
Back then I didn't care you had three other kids to think about
Looking back I was hard to put up with
I don't blame you for putting me out

She no longer has to fight
The long days and nights
Fighting pain that crippled and rippled through her
Life's riddles no longer confuse her
Transformation into knowledge everlasting a star ascending to glory
Existing in spirit watching down on the loved ones she left behind
Each one looking to the sky
Looking for guidance, calm, warmth
Some still acting like fools
Some using their God-given tools
All evolving as successes and failures in their own right
Heirs to nothing in the physical
Yet heirs to a birthright
Not a finite currency but a legacy
Eternally sprinkled about the brush
The love grandma gave us is on us to carry up
The climb is steep and the journey is long
But as our dearly departed sleeps
We have her spirit, memories, and teachings to keep us strong

"Dedicated to my grandma"

Like a house is not a home
This world is but a room
This body a tomb                 
Until words give it life
I will not wake ‘til you tell me you love me
Not until you rest me in your curves
A real woman knows that God didn’t just give her power between her legs
But he gave her power in her words
By its very definition and meaning
The nature of a woman’s totality
Completely warps a man’s mentality
The effects of fear that extends from society stay
Only becomes reinforced when women begin to stray
And say things that tear us down to our very core
Like a sickness or malignant sore
Your words have the ability to makes us soar
Or  to bring us to ours knees
These words are simply a metaphor in order to get you to see
That we need you
To see past the foolishness the world puts us through
And we’ll continue to endure so long as we can put you on that pedestal where you and our children can make it through
And so I say to you:
Without so much as a tear
I will lie here
Content to die here
Until I hear
I cannot live without you
I will never doubt you
I trust you
Our children
They need you
I could never replace you

For the sake of living I engage and socially interact
But the true and honest fact is that I
I've never had friends like the ones I had back when I just some kid on the block

I'd give up everything
For a chance to worship the King
In the spirit of Ghandi and Martin Luther King
I beckon my soul say let freedom ring
From the top of my head to every inch of my being

Morning Darling
I see you sleeping so calm
Your mane a flowing balm
Do I dare I disrupt your rest
The slight twinge of your hands cupped under your temple the covers pulled to your neck
As much as I want to whisper in your ear good morning
You deserve to dream
You deserve this time away from the noise and the stress
Accept this forehead kiss
A subtle reminder that back in the world your spirit is truly missed

A fanatic
In its truest form
An addict who can’t overcome her demons the behemoth of being in love with addiction to crack
A ***** making scores of money for a manipulate
Who could care less if she ended up OD’d or in prison
Of her own volition giving her body to make an ingrate coin
A black woman, mother of two boys, a daughter and two others she can’t raise because she’s unemployed
Deemed unfit incapable of providing a healthy place for her children to be raised
I know this case because my mother adopted two of her sons so they wouldn’t become wards of the state
Beautiful kids with no idea of their biological aunt now adoptive mother did
They weren’t her problem but they were her family
And she just couldn’t sit idle while these innocent babies slid
She saved those boys is what she did
Imagine being 58 with grown kids
Now you’ve got one age seven ir eight and the other age 10
My mother
By no means a patron saint
But the mandate she willfully embraced
Carries with me to this day
It shows her growth as person and as a mother
Reflecting the need to live in service someone else
She depicts exactly what the bible says when it says despite everything love above all else

I open my eyes and I see the sun
I awake and I feel life coursing through my veins
This is morning I feel lucky to have life
To take in the trees the wind
neither to shrink or fear
Power and love in my mind I feel
I am yours to do with me what you will
I need thee today to lead me and order my path
In my weakness I welcome your strength
With you I can do it
Without you there's balance I know I can through it
Existing without is chaos and malice
A man with no soul is as empty as a broken chalice

Glass of wine
A word that bonds our lives to His own
Peaceful and quiet nights
Granted liberty by His grace and His might
No distractions allowed since I surrendered my life
Just a newness and peace
Wrapped completely in comfort
Now I lay me down to sleep

The reflection you see in the mirror
Is the real you
If you can't stand to look at
Whats staring back at you
Then you know you got some work to do

I can write anywhere my heart and mind combine to find inspiration to write words that create manifestations that measure the pain and pleasure that inhabits the universe
Sometimes thoughts come one at a time
other times at the same time for instance instantaneously I find myself drifting through thoughts and ideas in and outside of my mind
Sometimes the verses take time
Thoughtful lines that describe hurt souls that cry out
My job as a poet is to find out how to embrace and circulate my compass
as God as my witness and his spirit as my guide
the morality by which my life is defined the centrality of my truth is biased on societal and psychological constructs but isn't governed by society's will to place on my shoulders a slave mentality I walk in hand with those who like me rely on knowledge and experience as a whole a stepping stone
Realizing that being grown isn't a description of the physiological it's handling your business as a leader a husband a father and son

Yesterday's gone
Today is a new
Tomorrow's a mystery
The past is history

I cherished you so much I married you
Every day I wake up next to you I reaffirm my commitment to you
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Five years later I still do

How did you sleep last night?
Was it pleasant?
Where do you go when you sleep?
Is it heaven?
If history says the perfect number is 7
Then so too
God’s perfect letter
Must be...
U

Linked arm in arm like a knot
Whether we were play fighting
Or kicking at the spot
Playing ball getting girls or getting stopped by the cops
There was never a doubt about who had my back

Growing up I doubted my mothers love for me
she took care of us physically
But never once told me she loved me