When I was young TV was my way away
Raised in a ****** environment
It provided me with viable escapes
Vacay
It put me in a much needed headspace where I could anything
It showed me
That I didn't have to be what I saw everyday

My childhood was hard
It was never easy
As an adolescent
I was needy
Rightfully uneven
I was often in my feelings
A center child is often left out
In response
I was emotional
So in turn I acted out
Back then I didn't care you had three other kids to think about
Looking back I was hard to put up with
I don't blame you for putting me out

Born to a single mother
Four sons, three different men
One of those cowards beat her senseless
And at eight years old
I had the misfortune of having witnessed it

I was hardheaded
I didn't listen
I know now
Not having a dad in my life
Was a key aspect of my life that was missing

I raised my hand to hit my mother
With reciprocity in my mind
Like she did many times
To me
There was a desire in my heart to repeat what I see

Growing up I doubted my mothers love for me
she took care of us physically
But never once told me she loved me

Glass of wine
A word that bonds our lives to His own
Peaceful and quiet nights
Granted liberty by His grace and His might
No distractions allowed since I surrendered my life
Just a newness and peace
Wrapped completely in comfort
Now I lay me down to sleep