Going off ground into
The softness of a ******* dream,
My lips part the ethereal plane
And I taste the
Condensed atmosphere,
Sweet and salty on the tongue
As I possess freedom
Only known to the wind,
Galloping rhythm and sound,
Falling and rising,
Suspended in moment,
Pulsing in my veins,
Echoing exhilaration,
I am whole with the all
Astride my horse!
Completely at liberty--
No bit,
No reins,
No saddle,
No Spurs--
Hands entwined in mane,
I am rushing and flying,
Lost to time,
Just his spine rocking my hips,
Back and forth,
Delightful unison,
Sinew and flesh bare,
Muscles rippling beneath me,
Skin quivering,
Warm and desperate,
For my legs to embrace
Heart and lungs
Supporting and encouraging
Every heavy breath,
The powerful magnetism
Consuming me,
Carrying me,
Connecting me,
And I know you:
Every pore,
Every pulse,
Every thought,
United and carefree
You are my strength,
You are my lightness,
You are my ease,
You are my relaxation,
With the sureness of
A ******* dream,
Every slivered-moon stamp
Of hooves crushing spices
Is an extension of me,
Mine to ask,
Of undying loyal,
Generous spirit
Just as infinity
Comes to rest,
There is understanding,
There is love.

The dark horse
Rides hard
Dappled and w
                         e
                         t
Over the night sky
Tonight from my tears.
His fur is
Velvet and black,
A shiver on
The twilight b
                       r
                       e
                       e
                       z
                       e.
Flowing on clouds
His mane and tail
Foam the horizon.
And as he gallops
Across the midnight blue
The twinkling s
                          t
                          a
       ­                   r
                          s
Spark and light
Silk and stardust
Trails in his wake.

Though my soul has set
In this nightfall,
Hollow and alone,
Now that you
Are here no l
                     o
                     n
                     g
                     e
                     r
I look above the
Dark horse skyline
To the dust of light
Shimmering and glinting
And see every little
Star a m
           e
           m
           o
           r
           y
Precious and dear.

Infinite stars,
Infinite memories.
Each more beautiful
and radiant than the last,
Just like y
               o
               u
Though your light has faded
you will glow immortal
in my heart and in the sky
with faith
with l
         o
         v
         e
with hope.

Your spirit is now
wild and unbound,
free and complete
on silver w
                i
                n
                g
                s
gracefull­y painted on
the flank of the dark horse
of the night sky.

I may miss you
with every beat
of my h
           e
           a
           r
           t
sighing and breaking,
but I know
the dark horse
will bring you to me
again every night
in the stars of
his hoofprints g
                          a
                          l
       ­                   l
                         o
                         p
                         i
                        n
                        g
across the Heavens.

His stars connect us.
Keep shining for me.
Above and over me.

Among my herd
Minutes and hours slip by
Without me even noticing them.
My heart and mind
Guide my path
Through the Universe with
Love, gratitude, and commitment
To the present.
Contentment pulses
Within my 8lb heart
Filling the whole of
Space between
Heaven and Earth.
Looking around me
My desires are only
What appears before me:
The Spring grass,
Sweet and lush.
My gratitude is as
Boundless as the cool air.
Just swishing tails
Quiet snuffles
Of deepened breathing
Soft licking and chewing
And lowered heads
Reserved for grazing.
I am calm.
I am peaceful.
I am authentic.
I shift my heart to feel
As the world unfolds
Where my hooves are earth
And my breath is sky.
I think of it as
Mindful gratitude in flow.
I am living as satisfaction
Fills my every pore
I know not impatience
Expectation
Or regret.
I know only NOW.
In this place,
It is alright to be exactly
What you are
Who you are
Where you are.
Equus ferus caballus.
A horse.
Right here.

Equuleus,
Little horse of light,
Imaginings have spilled
From the sky an eerie
Whisper of a heart
Forlorn and withered cold.
Easily bent and silenced
Spent neighs echo,
Mellow and muted,
Like copper on the wind.
Sad implosions have left
An empty and frail
Thin horse standing
Motionless in infinity.
Your stillness
Is that of mere
Stars remote and candid,
Absent and distant,
Full of sunken sorrow on
Pale skin stretched
Over points of bare bones.
Your body is nothing...
Disappearing and folding,
You are a mystic illusion,
A constellation:
Emaciated tendrils of
Thoughts hanging breath,
Faded and dying,
Midnight lights render
Memories swallowed by
A black hole
Of a despair shivering
Dread in dreams.

Equuleus,
Little horse of light,
In the infinite frigid
Stretch of of space,
My kindred stars,
Know my heart!
That with subsistence
And sustenance
Of calculated cognizant
Vestiges of time,
The glow of dreams,
Unfaltering and ubiquitous
Can be pursued,
Glistening beyond
The event horizon and
Pull of gravity!
You needn't a bright
Star to your name!
With hopeful trots alone
Toward enduring vicissitudes,
Even a constellation
So small and dim,
Can be a celestial
Rumbling majesty
Flying and galloping,
A divine horse reborn:
Racing grandly across,
The horizon with Pegasus,
Stardust pouring forth
From a body bound in
Radiant white beams
Seen from light years away!
You will rise
In passionate fervor!
You will set
In glittering glory!
You will be a force
None can tame,
Not even the
Northern night sky,
A mighty mansion
Of stars twinkling in
Elegance and transience
Until the dawn!
You will be the Heavenly
Spectra for all of
Earth below to behold!

The enchantment entices:
The cheerful music,
The beaming lights,
And all the pretty
Painted carousel horses,
Gossamer white and silver,
Dappled and glossy black
All riding in a       IR
                          C          C
                       ­         EL
Of whimsical imagination
And magical reality.

F A D I N G
Into a dystopia of
A  F
        L
           E
              E
                 T
                    I
                       N
                          G reality,
The lifelong dream becomes
Frozen in time:
Consuming being, soul, and all.

Here I am a carousel horse
T  
          W
                   I
          S
T
         E
                  D
In unnatural poses with
Artificial  S                S
                    M        ­ E
                         I  L
Richly bedazzled with
Ribbons and flowers:
A hand painted
Superb work of ART!
I prance on a brass pole,
Stiff and spellbound,
To an eerie tinkling tune in
A
           D
               I
                  Z
               Z
            Y
               I
                  N
                       G  parade with no destination.
Every day is carefully constructed,
Merely going through
The motions:
      P     and      D
                          O
      U                 W
                          N.

Everything is cold and bitter,
A 1950's film Noir:
My grey-scale fear envelops me
In a dark void of plastic,
an impending sense of doom
as a stationary effigy...

Slowly I awaken
To a breath of    L
                                I
                                F
                            E
A touch that ignites my heart to B          A
                                                    ­           E           T:
I am more than a carousel horse!

My bright paint chips and F
                                                  L
           ­                                          A
                                                        K
     ­                                                      E
                                                              S­  off like snow.
As warmth kisses me tenderly
With            F
                  L
              E   ­                 S  C
           S                  U            L
        H    and    M          ­          E
Hope, love, and forgiveness
Radiate from my body:
       S     and       P
       T                  O
       R                  W
       E                  E
       N                 R.
       G
       T
       H

I    E
     M
     B
     RACE my imperfections and                        
****, I am B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L!
I loose my bolts,
Abandon my pole,
A strident whinny escapes my lips:
I AM F       R        E        E!
I AM
         A
         L
         I
         V                                                          I
    ­     E                                           L       W     N               
Through my veins blood is  F        O              G!
My eyes are afire
Glowing bright with the                           Y
Undying flame of purpose!                  K
I toss my silky mane and tail to the S
With a  J       Y
                 O    none can tame!
With forceful leaps I
G A L L O P,   C        T       and  T     O        
                             AN    ER,            R      T
With natural poise
            V  E
     O               R
Cotton candy clouds.
I run toward worthy life
Where countless dawns break
Simultaneously in
    R
    A
    W,
           R
           E
           A
           L,
                 F
                 E
                 E
                 L
                 I
                 N
                 G  never to return!

Rolling green hills
Embrace me in a
Verdant and serene sigh,
With high notes
And low notes
Against the divine
Refrain of an
Unclouded sky,
And for a moment
I belong to somewhere
Far beyond,
Farther from where
Most would go...

And there,
So many of them--
All the pretty horses
Dance across the horizon.
Silhouettes running free,
Strong and intensified,
Limbs glossy and supple,
Tails ghosting through
The fields of
Untouched promise.

All the pretty horses
Remind me of a
Simple time,
Remind me of a
Beloved lullaby,
A sweet and melodic air
That wafts by slowly of
Blacks and bays,
Dapples and grays,
Chestnuts and sorrels,
Buckskins and duns,
All beautiful
Balanced,
And bodied,
A symphony of
painted colors
Dotting the expanse
A Hush-a-bye
Echo of their passage.

You can't tame
All the pretty horses.
Never, never.
Their spirit forever
Roams the prairie heart
Of wild places.
I sit back and reflect
As I watch them
Wander off
Into the distance as
Fading shadows
Of romance, nature,
And spirituality.

I watch and I pray
For some solace,
For some comfort.
With a delicious
Frisson of pleasure,
Tingling chills,
Electrically charged,
Flying and seeing
Hidden hues,
I am one with
All the pretty horses,
My kindred love,
Basking in the dusty
Wake of their glory.

I am strength steeled
With radiating presence,
Inspiration and imagination,
Flowing in four beat rhythms.
With thoughts undiluted pure
As intention with heart up
Noble and selfless
Gazing out so vast, so open,
With shoulders square,
I am taken in lightness,
Suspended with zero tension
At the the beginning,
Into a new world where
My hooves alternate in unity--
Human and equine blending
With every inhale, exhale:
Relaxation and calm,
Enlightenment and balance,
Confidence and security.
I relinquish licking and chewing
To this envoy of trust,
This emissary of hope,
The surety of myself--
In all my belief in you
TAKING THE LEAD
With a velvet focused voice
Directing my strides,
Enunciated kinesic Morse code
To my vision affirms
My paths of decisions,
And a soft, yet firm caress,
As if a blade of verdant grass
Gently tickles my ribs
In delightful encouragement,
I move with togetherness,
Connection and partnership.
I am with you.

Inhale,
Quiet mind, soft eyes,
Exhale,
Open heart, gentle blow,
Nostrils wide,
Soft as violets against
My lips three puffs,
Breath warm and sweet,
You speak in silence,
“I am as you
Everywhere
And always,"
Inherent beauty,
Elegance and grace,
Power and mystery.
You are the radiance
Of clarity remembered
Connection,
Right here,
Right now,
In the present moment.
Inhale,
Strength of chaos,
Exhale,
Sensitivity of flow,
Breaths synchronizing,
In and out,
We plunge into the void,
Suspended in space,
A world unfurling dreaming:
A pause,
Boundless time
In timeless space,
A stillness,
Motion patterns
Thoughts motionless,
A calm,
Quiet wisdom fulfills
Joy and blissfulness,
A release,
Blissful nature is mindfulness.
Inhale,
Words inside my mind,
Exhale,
Life uncensored and bare,
Duality,
Breath pushing away,
Softly pulling me in,
Gradually,
Breath fades into the other--
Push and pull
Eternally,
Breath after breath,
Pushing pulling unbroken
A long deep sigh…
Inhale,
The original beginning,
Exhale,
The Way Of The Horse,
Innate nature settles,
Life destiny resides,
To dawn a dusk,
To light a dark,
Soft and understanding,
My heart effortlessly accepts
Your essence,
The only oxygen I breathe.

In the eyes of horses
Memories spiral as stars
Of remote skies with
Every bat of their lashes
Stardust realms appear and
I'm lost to the intense
Beauty of that instant--
That millisecond
Of perfection over naturally
Deep set orbits:
        So soft and so gentle,
        So mild and so calm,
        So wise and so clear,
        So wild and so tame,
        So lovely and so wonderful,
        So full and so bright.

In the eyes of horses
Wet glistening radiance
Dances with heartbeats,
Love seeping into soul
Every nicker, neigh, and nuzzle
A pulsar of vibrant life:
        Captivating me,
        Tempting me,
        Engaging me,
        Reflecting me,
        Melting me,
       And evaporating me.

In the eyes of horses
Silently in dark paths of
Secret places and spheroidal bodies
Flattened behind a sweet
Abyss--endless depths and
Fathomless pools of innocence--
Of colored irises pure
Against the full ink darkness
Of elliptic pupil black holes:
        Shades of dawn,
        Shades of dusk,
        Ambers,
        Chocolates,
        Blues,
        ­And greys.

In the eyes of horses
Burnished moonbeams
Ripple on mirrored lakes
Swirling liquefied
Rays of galaxies and
Constellations circling
An eclipse echoing distant
Stars breaking:
        Earthen and warm,
        Hearth and home,
        Embrace and hold,
        Defend and protect.

In the eyes of horses
Where all of space seems to rest
Retinas burn a shining light
Brightening my dark mattered
Skies night and day
Are lost amongst the cosmic fray:
        Love galaxies,
        Vast, deep, complex
        Hope stars,
        Beauty, grace, blessing
        Miracle universes,
        Strong, brave, valor.

In the eyes of horses,
Collapsing and fading out
With the rise and fall
Of lidded blinks
Reaching desperately
Holding mane intertwined
Intricate stories lace passing
In tendrils between fingertips
My soul search is complete:
        Feel me
        Fill me
        Swallow me
        Lost me
        Found me.

Snuffles of breath
Soft and velvet,
Hoof-beats in dirt
Wild and thunderous,
Swishing of tails
Gentle and smooth,
Tinkles of irons
Faint and subtle--
All little sounds
Echoing meaning
For the ride:
My safe haven.

The experience begins
Positive and aesthetic:
One foot stepping
In the stirrup
Swinging and settling
Lightly in the saddle.
Energy thrums
Through my veins
Living the life
Of my dreams--
Healing
Sharing
Loving
Connecting
Discovering
Shining.

With absolute,
Single-minded focus
Looking up through
My horse's ears
The running thoughts
Stop silent.
Heels pushed down,
Sitting deep,
Grounds me.
Reins gripped tightly,
My hands hold
Determination and control.
Strength permeates
The effortless,
Rhythmic trot I post.

The ride gives me
confidence and self-esteem.
My once troubled
soul has now:
Peace
Poise
Hope
Courage.
The ride takes away
my breath
leaving nothing
but freedom in
ecstasy of motion.

Softly the coffee parts
A creamy-brown bitter end,
Where blended beautiful
Horses dance and ripple from
Dream-spangled flow,
Racing and gliding,
Strong and bold,
A vivid silken chroma
Of intensity from
Black to flat white
With every drop of
Milky dappled reflection.

Onward the flavors swim
Through shimmering tawny sea,
Sweet and bright,
Lively foals prance
In acerbic sunlight.
Stirring my mind with
Earthy strains,
Soothed by chocolaty
Spice and nutty timbre,
Mares graze peacefully.
Moving unseen in dark shade
From the center's spiral sphere,
Smoky and burnt sugar,
A stallion watch-guards
From caffeinated awakening eyes.

Warm to the last drop,
In delightful draught,
These coffee blended beauties
Glide swiftly down,
Hooves trailing a murmur
Of aesthetic experience
Softly caressing my pallet,
Leaving me gazing at
Bright newborn morning skies
Ready for the day ahead.

My heart is a hollow whirl
Of emotions magnified
With turmoil and anguish,
Sorrow and hopelessness,
As if my worst nightmare,
Restless and breathless,
Has been realized:
             Soon you will be no
                       Longer here with me.
I hear the rumble coming...
It crescendos with
Each day that passes.
My wounds are wide
Echoing and howling,
The tears sting my eyes,
My heart is beating
             Thunderously like hooves
                        Striking the open earth
Relentlessly surrounding me
With endless repetition
Hitting me to the core.
             Here I wait for it:
                      Wishing I had more time.
The pain wrenches my gut
As if all I can do is slowly
Crawl into desolation.
Love, you are the most
             Beautiful stampede
                    To ever trample me!
I am all torn up but
You are worth
Every minute of pain,
Every minute of love,
And every minute of grief.
Though the sadness hurts and
The torture too much to bear
             It is REAL
                   And it is LIFE.
Truly, in the end,
We are all but dust beneath
The hooves of horses
Stampeding wildly off into
The great unknown sunset of
Heaven's embrace where
               A new light dawns
                      Dust to dust.

PART I - His Beauty

A majestic creature
With legs of four.

Half-Arabian Paint Gelding.

Muscles ripple with desire
And tremble with expectation:

P
  O
     E
       T
         R
            Y
I
   N

M
    O
       T
          I
            O
               N

A magnificent coat
With dashes of
Luminous and opalescent white,
Coming and going,
Blending and parting,
With burnt sienna sand
planted in the Earth's core,
Shifting and swirling
Into each other,
Confident and vibrant,
Subtle and elegant,
A never changing constant
Visualization scraped across
A beautiful canvas:

T
   O
       B
          I
            A
               N
                  O.

A true Medicine Hat,
Sacred and a God,
A spell of protection--
No harm can come by
No stone,
Nor arrow,
No rifle-round,
Nor lightening.
A copper tint sky adorning
Ears and poll,
A russet horizon
Leaving it's mark
Beneath a cloud foam mane,
A gentle smile tossed
In the wind.

One prized blue eye,
a vast and infinite
Sky blue,
Soft and clear.

The other eye dark
with wonder,
Full of courage and hope.

Muzzle pink and velveteen,
Each whisker
Tickling the soul.

Will branded a steel
Shield across the chest
A precious wild nature
Coloring a deep rust
Burning bright as sunrise,
Spirited and vivid,
As though in free frenzies
And blood stained wars:

W
    A
        R
           P
             A
                I
                  N
                      T.
­
But I prefer Good 'Ol Boy:

B
   U
       B
          B
             A.

PART II - My Ember

His beauty outshines
anything and everything.
Slow and steady,
warm and fuzzy:

E
    M
         B
            E
               R
                   S

Burn in my heart.

But Winter in Summer has come.
The cold air invades my lungs:

E
   X
      H
         A
            L
               E.

My breath visible,
Brisk and empty,
Distant and bitter.
A hollow echo
Seeping into my soul.
All that he is
Is a memory...
A blurry piece of my past,
Shimmering and floating high:

F
  A
      L
         L
            I
              N
                 G

And fading away.

Little flame warm me.
An endless white sear,
For this journey ahead.
Reassure me everything
Will be fine.
Steel my resolve and continue.

No matter the distance,
I find ways for his ember
to burn bright and clear.
Art with an open heart,
Desire ethereal and beautiful,
Sweet and serene
As a kiss of fire
And wild as the wind:

M
     Y

M
    U
        S
           E.

He ties my thoughts together,
Reminds me of peace.
His beauty inspires
My inner romantic--
Honey coated rhythms
Of synchronized hearts beating,
Reminds me of love.
Hooves thundering in steps unbound:

G
   A
       L
          L
             O
                P,      
C
   A
       N
          T
             E
                R,              
T
   R
      O
          T.

Powerful strides of
Splendor and sleekness,
Grace playing a liberating song,
Reminds me of joy and freedom,
A future I can hold.

He is not mine,
Nor could he ever truly be.
But he is my soulmate.
My love deeply rooted,
always growing, forming, stretching,
intertwining and braiding,
cloud foam with brunette.
Always he will be
The horse of my heart:

F
  O
      R
         E
            V
               E
                  R.

This winter will pass.
The Summer will shine again,
Radiant and warm,
Confident and pure,
Golden light beams dancing.
This ember will grow back
to a flame,
flickering, licking, flaying.
I know I can thank you by name:

B
   U
       B
           B
              A.

Hooves subtly touch
The Earth in
Elegant stance where
Plains of silent gasps
Stretch wide with
Rolling hillsides dappled
A prismatic green
Against a pale sky:
Medicine Bow Wilderness.

Ebony silhouettes dot
The horizon,
Heads bowed grazing as
If they knew how to pray.
Their grace wisps upon
The long grass as
A gentle breath of dancing
Wind whispers their
Flowing manes and
Flying tails in motion
Like a sweet melody.

Such power, beauty
Strength, and poise in
This herd of souls
Unfettered!
May my heart roam
With you!
With a magical air
I know what I dream;
Untamed and free,
Hoping and desiring:
Dreams of wild horses.