i will never be skull crushed in a white powder prison
im free chicken passed out to the home seeking
because home is just where you put your ****
forget about where my heart is
its been sliced melted and reforged
flames that lick to the center of a tootsie pop
making the blood boil so the candy coating bursts of an inside
less than visually appealing is how i view my skeletal structure
didn't stop it from poking out when i jumped from your window

keep your friends close and enemies at a distance
because regardless the season of life no other purpose not dipped in deviousness
gives rise to rational of keeping the damage in arms reach
its not unlike the scissor strokes dancing a tap show on the wrist
i just never saw a reason to it
then again i can't see life like you do

my eyes get stuck on the things i see beauty in
which is mostly this new girl
sometimes the scenery  
then these flashes of a easy time
regardless
my irreverence stems from deep inadequacies
beg the question to forget the answer
and to the east i walk
lets find a way

I'm committed to being uncommitted
Unfaithful and impulsive
I'm going  behind your back
because she lets me hit it that way
You wouldn't
You said
"I'm waiting but I want you"
So I took you
made you
broke you down to be like all the rest
just to take you off your horse
because riding me
made you walk around on our level
I though You'd stay here
live here
roll in the mud
actually let you body get *****
because we did
now look at You
so quick to saddle up
and look back down
at least I know
what you look like on top of me
but just so you know
you ride the horse better

well!
hearing your apology tomorrow
won't be as good as my cup of coffee

I'm no stranger to being told
I need fixing

I say let the rust take me over
I can't feel it

Flight delays
slight in some ways
my train is derailed
no lie
I swear the tire was flat
there was traffic
and my foot is broken
no one can walk with a broken foot!

I know you want me there and I wish I could
but you in my bed still sounds so strange  

I swear I will be in shortly
(right after I visit another
one who I know won't wake up next to me
its better that way)

I heard you the first time
and I said don't wait up for me
I'll be there tomorrow
just let me grow some wings and I will fly there
just let me swallow burning coal and the rails will carry me
just let the traffic die down and I will be on the wheel
just let my foot heal and I will walk all thousand miles

I swear I will be in shortly
I'm coming right back to you
I need to make a few stops along the way
it won't take long
they never last
and I swear I will be in by morning
if not then in for lunch
if not then we can enjoy dinner
if not then I can squeeze in a night cap
I swear I will be in shortly

No ****
There I was...
Still drunk from the night before
swaying and floating to the bathroom

the anticipation
the feeling of fire rising from my stomach
then
Sweet release
and again
Fire
Relief

The repetition
three or four days in a row now
seems so masochistic

but

its where I hide
Its where I am safe
Safe from feeling how I did with you

I figure if my head is pounding harder than my heart
I can drive you out
Cast you out
Keep you out

Water
Coffee
some eggs
aspirin  
on with the day

If it worked the first time
I don't think I would keep pouring fire into me

but as the day is fading
I need to be set ablaze

I will
keep you out
push you out
cast you out

Haven't shaved in five days
my breath still smells like the beer from last night
many times I've been in this place

the *** wasn't anything mind blowing
the closeness was
I remember being there with you

so here now I sit
lighting a smoke
wearing sunglasses indoors
not because of the hangover

my eyes show it
the vulnerable
little boy

so I chose to sit here
hiding that place from you