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zoe-nichols
zoe-nichols
30/F Mum to two amazing kids
I wish you saw The hell I've lived The pain I feel daily The way the drink feels The way it makes me calm The way the knife feels Slicing the skin The release The only way I know I cant call for help All I get is disapproval My parents disown I make own family To watch you Work day night Never see you Kids cry for you I can't work cuz they are ill I try my hardest But never good enough In my eyes Maybe in yours But how can I ask for help When you give so much The drink doesn't work As much anymore The knife to blunt Just marks What can I do
0
Aug 1, 2025
Aug 1, 2025 at 5:57 PM UTC
Untitled
I think maybe shut off Lay down Then the beep beep goes Can't switch off Can't walk away Can't sleep When does it get easier When does life stop being hard One kid goes beep beep One goes go away One needs homework One needs insulin Scared everyday Is the school gunna ring Is the phone going off Is the air getting thinner Suffocating Trying to keep sane
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Jan 7, 2025
Jan 7, 2025 at 11:19 AM UTC
Mum life
I hear Beep beep beep All day all night I know every noise Every meaning I walk around With 1000 eyes Staring at me Questions after questions The *** she's diabetic The poor thing Oh did you pass it down You know she'll never Survive Be normal Enjoy life Eat sweets Words hurt so much But she's a fighter She's strong She's amazing She'll only know these words Each day can be a battle But She'll always have my hand To help her through
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Jan 7, 2025
Jan 7, 2025 at 11:15 AM UTC
Diabetes
I love you I'd happily say I do But lately I'm not so sure You work Come home Sleep While I've made 3 meals Ran after kids Sorted birthdays Spent all my money To make you smile You come in pig crap Dinner in 5 I call You waste half I feel defeated All alone Raising 2 kids with needs Barley surviving Scared ill break But I can't The kids need someone Weekend comes You moan the kids want to play See you Do something You say I'm tired I've done 50 hours this week How do I fix something Thats breaking Very Very Slowly
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Aug 1, 2024
Aug 1, 2024 at 4:51 PM UTC
Tired
Why just why At 2 years old Does the world fight you Bring you down Hurt you and betrays you But still you smile With every jab You cry then jump Right back up You never let it hold you back You know when it's not right You know when your high You come for help No matter what Whether is hitting or silence I know I got you forever I will protect you And teach you You call I come running You cry I check You scream I check This is normal now This is life You are a warrior You are sting
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Jun 22, 2024
Jun 22, 2024 at 6:41 PM UTC
Diabetes
You hurt my son You think it's okay That the ony way you can hurt me But I ill protect him with my life No matter what He'll see the light He'll see the truth You won't have him forever He remembers the past He'll never forget Screaming Leave my mum alone Stop hurting her He may be blinded now But soon the truth will come out And you'll be all alone Where you belong No one to hold on to When your drowning In your self pity
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Jun 22, 2024
Jun 22, 2024 at 6:35 PM UTC
My world
I wish I had eyes in back of my head I watch everything I'm scared to leave Scared to walk the street What if a car hits me What if someone don't like me What if I leave house What will happen Did I leave the washing on Did I leave the light on Did i pay the bills Did I get what I need Will I have a breakdown Will I turn to drink Will I freak out Will I survive the day Can I cope today Can I do my jobs today Can I keep my family happy Can I have a wash today Do I have time to relax Someday are harder Someday it's calm Someday I cry Someday I can't move Anxiety and mental health are real They can't just be cured
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Jan 26, 2023
Jan 26, 2023 at 6:09 PM UTC
Anxiety
Would you smile Would you speak Would you look Would you think twice if she wasn't there Would you smile Would you show me love Would you have lifted your hand Would you have thrown me Would you love me Would you care Would you take a second thought Would you want me If she was gone Would you come back Could I forgive The abuse The hurt The bruises The memories I watch you Fight the hurt Fight the heartache Fight the depression Yet you stayed While she pushed us away Now your a stranger You won't even look Won't even smile I just want my dad The man I looked upto The dad I loved Adored Treasured The memories They won't fade even if I try The gigs The laughs Should i forget Will you ever come back Or should I feel Deserted Alone
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Jan 26, 2023
Jan 26, 2023 at 5:50 PM UTC
Dad would you
I want to cry I want to scream Yet I have to hide How I truly feel Hearing the words Your kids need you Your kids need you happy You can't cry You can't give in What if its too much What if I can't breathe Can't think Can't survive feeling like this What if
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Feb 20, 2022
Feb 20, 2022 at 5:47 PM UTC
Untitled
11 years ago We met Butterflies flew Sun shined As our lips connected I wasn't fully ready I sed goodbye Back to now You came back Like nothing changed You became the dad My son always needed Watching you both laugh Bonding Melted my heart 2 years later You got down on One knee and Sed the question I sed yes As the butterflies flew Sun shined As our lips connected again Year later We see 2 lines The panic sets in But the smile grew too We made a life Up and downs Came and went But no one reached For the door Butterflies flew Sun shined As our lips connected
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Feb 16, 2022
Feb 16, 2022 at 5:01 AM UTC
Falling hard