Trying so hard to impress other people,
You forgot to impress yourself
Won over the hearts of other people,
You lost the love you used to have for yourself.
You took the time and built your own prison cell,
Where the freedom to be who you are,
Has been chained up by society’s ideology of who you are.
Your ignorance to love has caused you to find joy in;
Breaking heart,
Breaking rules,
Even breaking the law
I know deep down you still want to be cared and loved for.
Pushed your innocence of a cliff
Evil grew you wings
It was round about the same time you flew away from everything you once believed.
Wrote a million pages,
About how drowning in an ocean of superficiality has set you free
Yet when I look deep into your eyes,
It tells me a different story.
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 11:02 PM UTC
These boys are all the same
All they do is wanna play childish games
Always saying things that are untrue
Just to get a chance to be with you
It won’t be too long before he calls you his girl
And makes you feel like you’re his world
But get ready for a swirl
Your feelings have deepen for him
But now he’s starting to play with your emotions
He says he wants to keep his options open
Before you know it he’s gone
Making you think you did something wrong
But all along it was he that led you on
These boys are all the same
All they do is wanna play childish games
Always saying things that are untrue
Just to get a chance to be with you
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 4, 2015 at 3:24 AM UTC
They asked me why I keep saying that I'm heartless. I told them it's a long story. But I saw the eagerness in their eyes. So I said that it all started the last time I fell in love. When I'm in love, I give my whole life. When I give my whole life, I mean literally everything. There are no walls, no boundaries, no space in between will keep me and my love apart.
I fought the most terrible wars and survived all emotional storms and droughts. I sailed all seas and climbed all mountains for the sake of love. I held on so tight to the rope connecting me and the one I cherish the most. I rode all traveling trains and skipped all stops. It was nothing but magical. Every morning was a glory and every night was a sweet dream.
I was so in love that I cared too much. I cared too much that I left my physical body on the ground while my spirit flew to the sky. I jumped from clouds to clouds following you like the moon to the sun. I couldn't keep my eyes off of you.
But I was a prisoner of love. I loved you so much I became selfless. One day, I asked myself If I really did fully figured you out. Sometimes when I look at you, you give a smile that wasn't genuine at all. You were like a strange mountain no one has ever discovered yet. Were you not comfortable to show your bare self to me that you kept putting bricks to form a wall?
I was dumb enough to think I could dig you up with my rusted shovel. I always hoped that the everyday love I offered you will give you sunrises not sunsets. But as you took them, all I could see was your hungry soul eating all positive energies. You were blue like a cloudless sky.
I felt like the wine bottle you drank from each day. I slowly became empty. I was never refilled. And they say that saints and heroes are the only martyrs and for the first time in my life I felt like one. Strange how my only motivation was a flag with an inscription of the word love.
Do you remember that very night when you asked me to let you go? It hurt me even more. I've been spending all my time just thinking about you. I loved you too much. But was that it? Was it because I loved you too much? Was it that you couldn't handle it? You never told me the reason. I watched as you readied yourself for the coming war that would end all city fires. You shattered all glasses in my shelves once you turned your back at me. I waited for you to utter your last words but you never did. You walked away like a member of a funeral band. I was left standing with now a hopeless dream. It was too late when I noticed that you were holding a cloth in your hands. I didn't know what was inside until I watched my hands unconsciously hold onto my chest. At that moment, I fell on the cold ground and swam on my own blood. You took my heart with you. You stole it from me.
Before I closed my eyes that day, I swore to never love again. But why would I love? I am now heartless. My chest is now empty. I can never love anyone again.
People like you come and go. I never knew that your true form was a thief with a black coat. You steal hearts and leave.
Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 5:38 AM UTC
Afraid of this miserable world
I found peace in my loneliness
Discouraged by the society
And being an insecure mess
To be lonely I guess,
is simply the best.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 1:01 PM UTC
*I hate this feeling. The feeling of being empty. The feeling of loneliness. Feeling that no one will ever truly love you for who you are as a person. Feeling that your never gonna experience real love. Feeling that you're never good enough for anyone. It ***** you know, feeling like no ones meant for you, feeling like your gonna be alone for the rest of your life. Feeling that you’ll never find someone that truly understands you. I'm sick and tired of all these temporary relationships.
I'm tired of being ‘in love’ with someone for only two months and then being let down in the end. I'm tired of it. I wish I couldn't care less about being in love with someone and I wish I could stop worrying about finding someone. But love doesn't work like that with me. I'm hopeless. Its so stupid, you know?
The idea of love. Its pathetic. I honestly wish it never existed sometimes. I get so lonely. And it kills me slowly and slowly each and every day. It gnaws at my insides, tearing me up piece by piece. But no one knows that. Because on the outside, i'm cold. Heartless. Couldn't care less about love. But on the inside, that’s what I crave for the most.
And no one realizes that. No one does. Its funny because I can tell why someone acts a certain way around people and I help them through it and i'm always the one who's there for everyone because i'm the only person who can listen to them and truly feel empathetic towards them and can help them.
But when it comes to me its like no one even tries because they all think I don’t have problems and that I never get lonely and that i'm so strong but in reality i'm not and i need someone too but there's no one there for me because like I said, there's no one meant for me and I don’t know i'm just so so very lonely and I need someone but there's no one there but myself. So the only thing I can do is what I've been doing for the past nine years now: take care of myself, without anyone else. Because its just me, and its always gonna be just me.*
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 12:59 PM UTC
11/26/2013
I'm beginning
to realize
how alone
I really am
and how
alone,
is what
I've always
been
and honestly,
I think I'm
partly okay
with that
my best mates
have always
been
these walls,
this computer,
and the pages
in every book
I've ever laid
my eyes upon
I've always
found myself
to be quite
lonely
little did
I realize
that I had
everything
I needed
I've found
comfort,
in knowing
that these
pages can
not up and
leave me
they cannot
decide to hate
me
or ban me
from their
pithy lives
they cannot
judge me
or deem me
unsatisfactory
I have found
comfort,
in knowing
that these
walls
can not walk,
and can not think,
and can not judge,
and most
of all,
I have found
comfort
in knowing that
these walls
can not
talk
I've learned,
over the years,
to live
alone,
inside my
own mind,
not to worry
about others
I've learned
to keep to
myself
I've found
things to
keep my
occupied
and most
important
of all,
I've learned
you can not
let your
emotions
and feelings
depend on
those around
you
because they
will fail you
every time,
they will
fail you
you must learn
to live
with yourself,
you must learn
that your mind
is an oasis,
an escape,
a paradise,
that does not
need to
depend on
anyone else,
but yourself
to be happy
© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 12:57 PM UTC
I’ve got this insistent need
To constantly feed
That hungry emotion
Inside of me
I can’t seem to stave
The things I crave
I’m feeling alone
And I need to save
Me from myself
Cause I’m trapped inside
My mind and my heart
Simply won’t subside
So here I sit
Just like a clone
But in the end
It’s me alone.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 12:56 PM UTC
Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.
As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.
You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.
Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.
Although the last sentence
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.
Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.
You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book
Was your favorite story
All along.
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 8:54 AM UTC