I know.
I know today is looming larger
Than the lump in your throat
That you swallowed last night as you
Stood in the shower,
Trying to wash away the feeling
Of everything-is-going-wrong
And replace it with whispers of
It's no big deal
You don't want them to know that
It hurts
Because then the questions will come
As you press your lips together
And blink back the tears that scream
I do not want to be here today.
But even louder is the whisper in your heart saying
You did this last week
You can do it again.
Maybe it's the dead of night right now and that's ok.
Because there is something beautiful
About the night sky
The infinite amount of stars
Match the amount of times you keep trying
The fact that it never ends
seems as impossible as making it through today
But here's a secret; you aren't alone.
You aren't the only shower-crier
Please stop for a second
Reach your hand through your warm skin
And find your heart, where it beats without question.
Tie the beats to your fingers so that you don't forget who you are.
You were created by the same man
Who made the stars.
Not cut from any pattern.
Made from the strongest materials.
Today is hard, I know.
But you can open your eyes.
The sun will rise soon enough, but you might as well stargaze while you're waiting.
I know you will be ok.
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 24, 2015 at 5:22 PM UTC
I feel trapped. Trapped in a box that I cant get out of. No matter how hard I try, I just cant. Its like the box im in is taped shut, and all my screams are muffled out. Its like the box is sound proof, like the box im in doesn’t want anyone to know that im screaming on top of my lungs wanting to get out, to feel free. I feel like im running out of air, running out of time, and the walls of the box is caving in on me. Like its getting tighter and smaller every time I try to escape. Maybe the reason why I feel like this is because maybe I feel like a box myself; an empty box with nothing in it. I’m empty and dead. I want to feel alive, I want to live a free life with nothing holding me back. But I cant. Because im trapped, in a place called highschool.
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 24, 2015 at 5:20 PM UTC
I know the pain you feel is deep,
your want from life is simple peace.
And though I cannot guarantee,
please listen closely, as I speak.
Presently you stroll alone,
searching for a hand to hold.
You feel your sorrow in your bones,
in harshest sun, you still feel cold.
Pre - dawn, however, is darkest night
that must be followed by morning light.
I pray you won't give up the fight,
the universe will set things right.
I know at times, it seems unclear
that happiness is always near.
But wholly I believe my dear,
someday soon, you'll find some cheer.
Mar 7, 2015
Mar 7, 2015 at 11:54 PM UTC
Of course I've changed
life does that to you, it creates conflicts
some you can handle and some that make you fall through the cracks
I'm not the same freshman girl you once knew, I'm a junior that has been through things
I haven't been in your life for two years
I don't know the same people you know, I don't remember everything
we used to do
You're different too
You've changed not just me.
We all change, we change from life experiences
we change from situations we were once in
we are not the children we were in elementary, did you expect we would stay the same?
Change is everywhere
Mar 7, 2015
Mar 7, 2015 at 11:51 PM UTC
How to be unhappy all the time:
it's not hard
to be sad
and angry
and unpleased with the world
because the way you see the world
is how you feel
but the way you feel
is how you see the world
and you think,
if all you see,
is the happiness
of your friends
and family
in their life's
and loves
you'd be
inspired
to be happy too
but all I see
is the lack of love
in my life
the lack of someone
to remind it's alright
all I see
is the girl whose found her love
and they are happy together
and I'm happy for them too
I'm just sad for myself
all I see
is the girl with her girlfriend
desperately in love
and I'm happy for them
I'm just sad for myself
all I see
are my friends happy
in everything that happens
and I'm happy for them
I'm just sad for myself
I know wallowing
in self pity
can't get me far
but it's hard to be
happy
when the world
doesn't feel that way.
-r.y.s
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 8:30 PM UTC
I want winter
to be over.
It reminds me
of the cold
and bitter
that is my soul.
I need spring
to come again.
To push me
out of the cold
and be happy
unfreeze my soul.
-r.y.s
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 8:29 PM UTC
As her eyes glisten from the light,
you can see stars that appear.
Stars that only show
when she is truly happy,
when she is truly smiling,
when she is truly alive,
when she is truly herself.
And when you look
into her light brown eyes,
you fall in love with her
and the stars in her eyes
that only appear
when she is with you.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 7:42 PM UTC
Falling in love the first time is easy,
you don't understand the risk.
It's like,
learning how to swim as a child,
you're unaware that you're unafraid of the unknown.
Once you're an adult, and understand the concept of how to swim,
and the possibility of drowning,
you realize,
it's terrifying.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 6:47 PM UTC
Theres a feeling I can't quite explain
It comes and goes
An agonizing pain
It tightens my chest
As if someone is pulling on my heart
Sooner or later
I'll be torn apart
Theres this feeling
Thats raging inside
Like an angry storm
Rain made of tears I cannot hide
Theres this feeling
I can't make it go away
A dumb emotion
That keeps coming back again
It makes me cry
Till I can't anymore
I guess thats how you know
your heart is broke
Keep it all in I say
Build up a dam
Keep it to yourself I say
don't let them in
Theres this feeling
Does no one understand?
When I'm quiet and alone
When I lie and say I'm okay
I need someone to hug me say
Tell me everything
I try so hard to be the best I can be
But I always end up failing
Wear a smile
So they can't see
Whats behind it
What I'm hiding
It hurts so bad
And I don't know why
I want to disappear
Some days I want to die
Theres this feeling
I can't quite explain
I guess I'll let it build up
Until it breaks the dam
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 4:17 PM UTC
*I hate this feeling. The feeling of being empty. The feeling of loneliness. Feeling that no one will ever truly love you for who you are as a person. Feeling that your never gonna experience real love. Feeling that you're never good enough for anyone. It ***** you know, feeling like no ones meant for you, feeling like your gonna be alone for the rest of your life. Feeling that you’ll never find someone that truly understands you. I'm sick and tired of all these temporary relationships.
I'm tired of being ‘in love’ with someone for only two months and then being let down in the end. I'm tired of it. I wish I couldn't care less about being in love with someone and I wish I could stop worrying about finding someone. But love doesn't work like that with me. I'm hopeless. Its so stupid, you know?
The idea of love. Its pathetic. I honestly wish it never existed sometimes. I get so lonely. And it kills me slowly and slowly each and every day. It gnaws at my insides, tearing me up piece by piece. But no one knows that. Because on the outside, i'm cold. Heartless. Couldn't care less about love. But on the inside, that’s what I crave for the most.
And no one realizes that. No one does. Its funny because I can tell why someone acts a certain way around people and I help them through it and i'm always the one who's there for everyone because i'm the only person who can listen to them and truly feel empathetic towards them and can help them.
But when it comes to me its like no one even tries because they all think I don’t have problems and that I never get lonely and that i'm so strong but in reality i'm not and i need someone too but there's no one there for me because like I said, there's no one meant for me and I don’t know i'm just so so very lonely and I need someone but there's no one there but myself. So the only thing I can do is what I've been doing for the past nine years now: take care of myself, without anyone else. Because its just me, and its always gonna be just me.*
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 2:49 PM UTC