There once was a lad named Ted Cruz.
(A name he’d decided to use).
He’d rejected Latino-ness
In conducting his business.
An identity for which he had no use.
In the end, though, he remembered his roots.
So off to Cancun he did scoot.
And the warm bienvenido
Made him sure he’d succeed. Oh…
He’d forgotten his senatorial pursuit!
So he jumped on another jet plane
Leaving behind the pate and champaign.
But ‘twas another anomaly
He’d forgotten his family.
A perhaps un-erasable stain!
But his constituents would know that he cared
Even though he’d left his state unprepared.
His family was another slog.
Oh! He’d get them a little dog.
And with that his circle was finally squared!
Feb 20, 2021
Feb 20, 2021 at 10:54 AM UTC
(To the Tune of Humoresque, with apologies to Mssrs Dvorak and Douglas)
We want to make it very plain that residents should please abstain
From gatherings in groups (we’re watching you!!),
We discourage assignations, please commune in isolation,
Whatever you have done before DON’T DO!!
If you need a sweet flirtation, please recall our limitation,
Separation being the thing we hope you do.
If you start exchanging fluid, danger there is undisputed,
Please to keep the group size down to two.
Copywrong Vic Miller. All wrongs preserved.
Apr 4, 2020
Apr 4, 2020 at 10:28 AM UTC
There once was a mohel from Ann Arbor,
Who received some advice from a barber.
He said, “please always snip
With a scissor’s far tip.
With circumcision, there is no safe harbor!”
But the mohel was determined to show
How creative the process could go.
So he carved his initial
Where it wasn’t official--
Some above, bit between, some below.
As the boy grew, he decided to maximize
The value of what he’d discovered between his thighs.
He was told it was smart
To hold onto his art,
But on letting go he won the prize!
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019 at 7:12 PM UTC
There was a young man from Blackheath sir,
Who carried his tool in a sheath, sir,
With a practiced quick draw
He would see, he would saw,
But he always wound up underneath her!
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019 at 7:05 PM UTC
There once was a coed from Chester
Who was born with removeable ******* Her
Twins got confused
About which ones to use,
So they studied on an extra semester!
Sep 29, 2019
Sep 29, 2019 at 8:20 AM UTC
The girl could dance on the keys
While shedding her garments with ease.
She'd then toss a few jokes
To the admiring blokes.
They called her the Comic Strip tease!
Jun 5, 2019
Jun 5, 2019 at 11:09 AM UTC
He lived at the top of Trump Tower,
And reveled at the extent of his power.
To demonstrate strength
He extended the length
Of government's funding one hour!
May 31, 2019
May 31, 2019 at 1:59 PM UTC
There was a young lass from Bermuda
Who maintained that no man could delude her.
But she had these two friends who
Had a superb pas de deux
And she persuaded them both to include her!
May 31, 2019
May 31, 2019 at 1:56 PM UTC
The Founders declared it was just this,
And they did it with clearly a purpose--
A judge is an umpire
The Supreme Court should look higher.
And so, each of them is called Justice.
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 7, 2018 at 11:42 AM UTC
Why couldn’t the snake reproduce--initially?
Complicated.
First, her egg tried to cross the road.
“Restless egg syndrome” was the medical diagnosis.
It rolled halfway across,
Colliding with a politician
Looking for the median voter.
Fruitless.
The egg was severely damaged, but they got it
To the Shell service station.
No one cracked a yolk.
At the end though, multiplication was impossible.
The snake was seen to be an adder.
A reptile dysfunction, they said.
But then LL Bean delivered their log table…
Copywrong Vic Miller 2018. All wrongs preserved.
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 13, 2018 at 1:01 PM UTC