My words always feel empty
As if made with lack of empathy
Throughout my rotten history
I’ve suppressed all these memories
Frames of painted wooden glass
Let me see into my past
I wish I could change what use to be
So that these words weren’t as heavy
But times a thing I can’t control
Nor something I can just let go
Or an element I can change
So I’ll stay stuck in my ways
Of believing that I will end this guilt
Or suffering what I can’t ****
But one thing will stay the same
My words will still feel empty
Even when my eyes
Are filled with tears
Oct 24, 2019
Oct 24, 2019 at 9:24 PM UTC
When one disappears
The world keeps on spinning
The saints keep on sainting
And the sinners keep on sinning
When one disappears
Some may stop to wonder
But only a chosen few
Feel their souls torn asunder
When one disappears
Most await new dawn
But some live an endless night
Once their soulmate's gone
Jul 16, 2019
Jul 16, 2019 at 9:46 PM UTC
May my centre of my universe remain unbroken as the pressure of the galaxies ponder my existence
May my soul however torn be stitched back together with the thread of time and needle of course
May my faith in humanity and humility be constantly tested keeping my thoughts in one place and on a straight road
May the water in my blood flow back too the sea as the earth soaks up what’s left of me
May the oxygen I’ve carelessly breathed become the last thing left of me
And may my gods feel mighty but small as my demons become as equal too their rank.
I’m only but a human in this endless existence, I’m only but one star in the sky, I am nothing more than strands of an ancient past and no more than the sun which brings us life.
Jul 16, 2019
Jul 16, 2019 at 9:31 PM UTC
Say what you want but that lad means more to me than anything, he’s my best friend my soul mate and the one I love with all my heart, I remember his voice like I heard it a second ago and I can taste his kiss like his lips are mine but I’m so depressed without him he’s my other half and without him I feel so lost my lungs collapse at the thought of him leaving and my heart squeezes tight at the thought of a life without him
I don’t want to breathe air if he isn’t there because without him there isn’t a point
And he has everything I need even if he doesn’t see it cause what I need you can’t buy and what I crave I need you by my side for, see where this is going?
There’s a hole in my chest deep swollen and uncomfortable but with you around I can’t even frown because for them hours I’m complete
I guess I’m a mess I’m sorry in advance
But now you know an my times run out
But thanks again
For you
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 8:07 AM UTC
A deal with the devil
Thats what i signed tonight
I messed up big time
Now it's nothing so bad
But your really not gonna like
When you look on the inside
I can smile
And play pretend
Act like i never took more drugs
Act like i never ***** up
But I sit and i write
Every day, every night
Tryna find just one peice
Of my life, that went right
Guess it's not meant to be
I'm just too ****** you see
Raised around lies
Cheatings pride
Know no faith
Fell from grace
And ill never ever get back up
I'm sorry
You deserve better than me
I just hurt you
And disappoint you
I never mean too
Its just everyone I love becomes ******
Everything I touch turns to rust
And every time it starts to go right it always backfires
Im aware of my life's problems
Im aware that I haven't felt since before I met you...
I'm so scared of loosing you so I keep **** away from you but then it kills me, but the **** i tell you you don't like or when im ready to tell you its like you don't wanna hear it and i know you say i can talk to you and **** but like you always loose your rag over the stupid **** and honestly im just loosing my head all the time.
It's not your problem
I'm aware its mine
But I can't continue
To hate my fear of loosing you
Makes me want too
Just so then its less painfull for me
I'm undeniably in love with you
That ill swear on god hell and the universe
May they all fall into a black hole if im lying
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 12:49 PM UTC
Does my work offend you sir?
With all its swearing and its slurs
The slang and the profanity
All those 'unattractive' words
I do apologise
It's just my poetry's my voice
The fears i feel inside
The troubles of my heart
The troubles of my soul
All my pain and all my pride
I write into notes
Pages in a book
Something i hope to publish one day
A hand that helps someone who's lonely
Something to mend the soul
A hug to those in cold
My words of bitter do nothing
But heal the sick and cold
So please forgive my language
But i just so happened to be
The person to speak my mind
In the most truthful way
I couldn't ask for justice
Because nothing has been done
Ill ask for your discretion of
This important matter
With your shaming of my words
My swearing and my slurs
I do ask forgiveness
I pray its not me who you hate
Nov 17, 2018
Nov 17, 2018 at 11:08 AM UTC
Oh god here it is again
I can feel it
The darkness
I could blame the winter, hormones, life
But the truth is im just slipping
Like my life is made of ice
And my mental stability is shaky
It falls like a landslide and an avalanche all in one
I hate the peaks in my mind
Like the tops of mountains they pierce the sky
And let blood fall down like rain
Depression is a landscape
Of both beauty and pain
See most people see their depression
As a flaw in their soul
But I see mine as an asset
covered in gold
Cause mines made me who I am
Even with all its drawbacks
Even with all the tears
Even though I feel so empty
Im filled with lust and love
Cause he's a cure
For poison and pain
And he makes me whole in these days
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 9, 2018 at 8:30 PM UTC
Poems need time
As much as you can get
So the words can sink
And their potent poison
Of love and hate
Can seep into the cracks
of your soul and heart
They need time
To heal and break
Every picture you've ever painted
Of every golden amber sky
That could curse every eye
Leaving traces of the fire
The ashes of your past
Filling up an everlasting hour
Glass full of immortality and
Death together in harmony.
That's the picture you painted
With all your words
With your speech you set
All caged birds free
Your words can capture
Lost and lonely souls
And make them feel hope
You can also break an already
Lost heavy heart and destroy
Ones very soul,
Words mean nothing
Its only the order they go in
That can truely define
Ones true meaning
On the concept of life
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 5:15 PM UTC
I wanna write but my words are empty
I can’t breathe without not wanting too
I can’t sleep knowing who you’re next to
I can’t eat because my stomach won’t let me
I can’t scream because my lungs refuse
I can’t stand the sound of my own heartbeat
Is this normality?
To shake at the thought of leaving my home
To hate the feeling in a crowded room
Even if it’s the people you love the most
I’m only comfortable when I’m alone
I’m just trying to get by
But when there’s nothing to keep you breathing
No glue to stop you breaking
No **** can make you high
No alcohol can make you forget,
Nothing but what you remembered from the fall through December back again to in mid spring then your mind went to somewhere in July when the sun was high and together you soared above every and anything that you both saw, took every chance made every mistake but you did it so gloriously you made it painlessly and you survived with them by your side but now it’s gone
And you both know it went on for so long
But the thought that somewhat it went wrong still it haunts your head so full of now grief and sorrow but for the person you lost so quickly and it felt like less than a year but a entire lifetime because some part of you refuses to let you believe it was real, the aftermath of it all keeps you realising it was real it was a living nightmare
when they left
you remember how suddenly your nights got cold and your days short, the weeks started feeling like months and 5 days in to the month you felt it had already dragged about 7 years, but you kept going even though you’d lost yet another light, not even that but two
I somehow managed
Alone
Broken
Scared
But alive
I am alive
Nov 2, 2018
Nov 2, 2018 at 7:26 PM UTC