I only wish I could ever love myself the way I've always loved you
If I Loved Myself the way I loved you maybe by now I would of realized you don't love me back
maybe I would have noticed your facade crack
that you weren't the you I thought I knew and that the only you I could of ever fallen in love with is the version of you I sculpted in my head
The version of you that's kind and caring not judgemental for me sharing my thoughts and writings
The you that supported me no matter how far I had fallen the version of you that would help me find those silver linings as if the dark would never swallow me whole like a black hole swallows all the lighting around
If I Loved myself the way I loved you maybe tonight I wouldn't be sitting here on the edge of the bed silently sobbing as sadness seeps from every pore wondering if I could of done more to make you love me
Maybe it's time I accept I need to quit loving you more than I love myself maybe it's time I start to see all the things in me you never did
the me that is kind the me tries desperately not to judge the me that supports my friends and loved ones even when I can't support myself the me that knows my thoughts matter and that my writing can be the voice of those with a noose tied tight around their vocal cords
No…no more maybes it's time I start to love myself the way I love you
May 10
May 10, 2026 at 12:09 PM UTC
Where do you go
When dreams of the future become fragments of the past
When aspirations of what could be become regrets of what has been
Who do you talk to when your best just simply isn’t enough
When like a broken mirror the words you say don't reflect the surging emotions running rampant
Ravaging the city of progress you've worked so hard to build brick by brick
Crumbling completely and cataclysmically within seconds
Where do you go when you want to give up
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 10:18 PM UTC
They say you can't fill from an empty cup
That you need to take time to replenish
But what if one day
The one that inspires you to take that time
Is no longer there
Because they didn't replenish their cup
They reminded those around them to fill their cup up
But
They kept pouring so much of themselves into other
Down to the very last drop
But even then they didn't stop
But they aren't the only one filling from an empty cup
In a vicious cycle
A whirlpool of sadness and sorrow
You were their inspiration for filling their cup
However one day you had so little in your cup
You got sick and without warning wound up in the hospital
Without enough time to tell anyone before they took your phone
You were isolated from the outside world
While on the unit you counted the days till you could see your inspiration once more
But alas
That day never came
For while you were on that unit
Your inspirations cup ran dry
For months you blamed yourself for being sick
For needing help
For reaching out
Thinking if there was more you could of done
But how could you
When you can't fill from an empty cup
Feb 24
Feb 24, 2026 at 3:29 PM UTC
I've always wondered how the earth was made
I've wondered how living people truly came to life
I realized that they're one in the same
Just as water flows through the earth
Blood runs through our veins
Just as the earth is covered in dirt and grass
We have skin and hair
But unlike the surface of the earth
Our wounds heal even the ones below the crust
Just like the earth we change with time
We grow
We learn
Feb 24
Feb 24, 2026 at 3:17 PM UTC
At last I know how to describe the way I feel
Why I always kneel when I'm in fear
It's honestly quite simple
A single word will do
But alas the word that describes my pain is
Atlas
But unlike him this punishment isn't one placed upon me by some God
No not even Zeus himself
It's one I placed upon myself
These burdens that way upon my shoulders
Just like Sisyphus I'm gaining no head way with this boulder
My body weak and exhausted
My mind not far behind
As I push this boulder and hold these stars so none are collapsing
I simply wonder who's the one going to hold me
Or is this pain everlasting
Jan 20
Jan 20, 2026 at 8:22 PM UTC
Tik
One second gone
Tock
Another minute off the clock
Drip
Another bottle down
Drop
Feeling like I'm going to drown
Click
These thoughts keep coming back
Clack
My heads all out of wack
Tik
Tock
My time is up
Sep 16, 2025
Sep 16, 2025 at 3:29 PM UTC
I'm the sculptor of my life
Except
I've run out of clay
Not knowing where I'll go next
Please someone tell me what is my next play
Sep 16, 2025
Sep 16, 2025 at 3:10 PM UTC
I've wasted so much time
Time that's Impossible to recover
Wishing I had one more moment
Aug 27, 2025
Aug 27, 2025 at 10:46 PM UTC
When you were younger you imagined nations
Conjuring entire new worlds in your mind
Hoping to escape the real chains that bind
Holding you restricting you subjugating you to days already passed.
Now you sit lacking fuel to make new creations
You write you listen to music you game you do anything you can to protect yourself from future pains
One day you'll look back on all the progress you have gained
Jul 7, 2025
Jul 7, 2025 at 9:58 AM UTC
When God meets me he will look down and say
"Why" nothing else just one simple word "why" It just happens to be something I ask myself too
Why do I believe every lie that gets sold to me
Why do I waste my time trying to form bonds
Why does every solution I come up with fail
Why can't I express myself with my voice it's as if God's hands are wrapped around my voice
I try and try but can't seem to make any noise
Why do I write to heal only for those words to escape me too like a convict on the run
Why do I keep trying
Why
Just why
Why God
These are the questions I will have
When I meet God
May 29, 2025
May 29, 2025 at 7:53 PM UTC