dear god
**** you
when i was four you didnt protect me
from the monster under my bed
in my bed i mean
because i remember my uncle touching me everywhere like i remember the freckles on my left hand and the scar on my finger
when i was ten you didnt remind me
that i was loved and needed and necessary
to the world around me
when i was twelve i started cutting
because i wanted to be like the girls in the stories i read
at night only because my parents would get mad
if they saw me tracing lines on my writs at the asscrack of dawn
when i was fifteen i was ******* my best friend
behind my boyfriends back
because i was so angry with my self
and i needed a reason
now at sixteen i think
you exist
solely for the purpose
of laughing
at me
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 11:28 AM UTC
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
i didnt mean to make you sad
oh god, im a bad friend
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
i didnt mean to talk too loud
i didnt mean to startle you
i didnt mean to take up too much space
i didnt mean
i didnt mean
i didnt mean
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 11:24 AM UTC
I think you send me little hearts on Skype because it makes me smile
And I think you think making me smile
Will keep a razor off my thighs and pills out of my throat
But I don't think you realize
I might do it anyway
Not to sound ungrateful
Because I appreciate the sentiment
But I feel like I'm dying anyway
And smiling wont stop that
And smiling wont bring my apathy back
“Why would you want apathy?” you ask
I live in a home where every eye contact
Makes it look like you're talking back
And when you talk back
You get your possessions taken from you
One by one
And that wouldn't be a problem
If I didn't miss the little hearts on Skype.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 11:20 AM UTC
She'd gathered dust
From the days she'd spent alone
But now I feel obligated
To hold her in my arms
And play her again
But I can't get the dust
Out from under the strings
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 7:03 PM UTC
Goodbyes never hurt me
It's always the memories that follow
To live in such a cruel reality
A world so insensitive and shallow
A goodbye is just a moment
But the memories are stuck on replay
To think we deserve such torment
We remember each and every day
A goodbye will not hurt you
But the memories will shatter your being
Break your heart into pieces
Your life may even lose meaning
Goodbyes do not hurt you
They are only the beginning
A life that was once so simple
Turned into a life so unforgiving
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 11:36 AM UTC
The tide is romanticized
And we're told that it's beautiful
But it seems like all the tide does
Is carry things away
And I'm scared it'll carry you away too
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 5:38 AM UTC
I don't care if I'm breathing in monsters when I smoke
Maybe they'll help me figure out the mess that is my mind
Because I sure as hell know the cigarettes do
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 5:33 AM UTC
To love a writer
Is to be in a constant war
With their battling emotions
And their need to exist
Because writers
More often than not
Are the saddest beings on the planet
To love a writer
Is to be awake at three in the morning
Reading their newest work
Because they want you at your most honest
When you tell them that
It's either absolute **** and not worth being awake for
Or it's so beautiful that you'd never sleep again to read it
To love a writer
Is to be constantly analyzed
Under a watchful eye
Because they want to learn to write you down
They want to describe you
When she sleeps, her hair looks like the night sky
Beautiful and dark
I only hope I can be the moon that lights her smile
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 3:14 AM UTC
You told me I'd be happier if you and me didn't exist but you forgot you're my happiness
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 3:10 AM UTC
The stress is killing me
I can't breathe
I need to be beside you with your arms around me and my name on your lips
You soothe me
You make it better
You make me shake in better ways
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 3:08 AM UTC