like foxes in the henhouse
no sanity to be found
neither residents nor caregivers
in this broken asylum
#gradschool
Jun 23, 2020
Jun 23, 2020 at 1:57 PM UTC
Out of the woodwork
Comes the spiders
Devouring your corpse
Though you're dead, you've much to give
In life you were a failure
Out the woodwork
Comes the spiders
Skittering 'cross your nose
The scent of Rose's lost to you
Away upon the wind
Out the woodwork
Comes the spiders
There's no one there to mourn
There alone there with the spiders
In death as you once lived.
Jun 14, 2020
Jun 14, 2020 at 12:15 AM UTC
Gone
into the moon
I wished
To see you soon
You have ascended to a place I cannot follow
With hopeless grace, a broken bird wallows
Alone amid the fallen blossoms
Spring to summer and summer autumns
Your presence now a hollow spectre
Born bare before my altar
Gone
Into the moon
Wish unfulfilled
My life now picayune
Jun 14, 2020
Jun 14, 2020 at 12:12 AM UTC
Ring ring ring
The phone inside my head is
Calling
Calling
Calling me to sin
It tells me
Tells me
Tells me just to jump
Get away from it all
Say goodbye to it all
One last look
back upon my life
Tells me
Tells me,
That it is time to go
Nothing here holds meaning anymore
And nothing here is holding me at all
Goodbye, my friends
I wish I had the strength
To fight that urge to throw it all away
Goodbye, my friends
I hope you’ll understand
Goodbye, my friends
The times, they weren’t all bad
Ring ring ring
The phone inside my head is
Calling
Calling
Calling me to sin
It tells me
Tells me
Tells me just to jump
Get away from it all
Say goodbye to it all
Pick up the pieces,
Go back to the board
I’ve heard those lines
I’ve heard it all before
Convince myself
To live for one more day
Convince myself
Get through just one more day
Ring ring ring
That phone inside my head
Is calling
Calling
Calling me to sin
I can’t ignore those calls for me to jump
Now I’m leaving it all
Say goodbye as I fall.
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 10:47 AM UTC
Go to sleep, just rest your eyes
In your dreams, your soul takes flight
Abandon here, terrestrial cares
Your waking hours, the real nightmare
As you are, you are enough
On the brink, you’re on the cusp
So take my words, commit to heart
And I’ll give you a brand new start
Transcend this plane, forgo this life
It isn’t worth your eternal strife
Take that leap into abyss
Embracing now death’s sweet kiss
Raise your head, eyes toward the sky
Do not weep as you say goodbye
Dec 3, 2019
Dec 3, 2019 at 9:22 AM UTC
See how the clock ticks?
Second by second; Minute by minute
Golden hands moving, moving
Never ceasing, ever changing
See her dress flow?
Lace of black, silk of red
Hugging her form; Kissing the floor
See her foot tap in anticipation?
Tap tapping, Clap clapping
Her heel scuffs the floor
Ding, scuff. Ding, scuff.
Now see her pacing
Back and forth, Forth and back
Back to the clock
Hands at a quarter, Quarter ‘til nine
Tick ticking, click clicking
Forward in time, inching towards nine
See her dainty hand rest
Upon the rail to the stairs?
Fingers tap, heels clap
As the clock ticks the time
See her raven hair catch the light?
The silver pins shine
She twirls a stray curl
The clock still ticks the time
Five minutes left now
She sighs a slight sigh
Then the doorbells chime
As the gold clock strikes nine
An audible gasp as the door opens wide
The clock is forgotten; its tick out of mind
They head to the dance at two past nine
Oct 4, 2019
Oct 4, 2019 at 3:18 PM UTC
I want to see me through your eyes,
Disguised as smart, as strong, as funny, as beautiful.
All these things you say I am.
All these things I say I’m not.
I look in the mirror and hate what I see.
But I love you, and you love me.
And I know I can’t live on this way
So even if it doesn’t happen today
I want to try to see me through your eyes.
Sep 2, 2019
Sep 2, 2019 at 4:38 PM UTC
I’ve been duckin’ cupid
He aint got zip on me
I’ve been duckin’ cupid,
But don’t tell anybody
This heart of mine is off the market
It’s seen too much wear and tear
I’m done with his bad aim
I’m done with his affairs
My heart’s been stricken by his arrows
One too many times
But I refuse to be a girl
Who sits at home and pines
So I’ll keep duckin’ cupid
And put armour ‘round my heart
Shut out love, lock out the world
So no one sees my scars
I’ve been duckin’ cupid
He won’t get zip on me
As long as you keep my secret
Give me your guarantee
Cause I’ve been duckin’ cupid
It’s better don’t you see?
If we duck him together,
then we can both be free
Just tell me one thing though please
before we hit the road
Did you mean it when you told me that
your heart was mine to hold?
‘Cause I’ve been duckin’ cupid,
But he’s caught up with me.
I’ve been duckin’ cupid,
But I’ve finally come to see.
All my heartbreaks led me here
To my past I say adieu
I’ve been running from his love
To fall in love with you.
Jul 23, 2019
Jul 23, 2019 at 11:12 AM UTC
I find myself paddling against the current.
Those ahead ask why I am falling behind.
Those behind don’t see how every stroke wears me down.
It takes everything I have just to stay afloat.
"We began this race after you and have already overtaken you, how pathetic."
I want to give up.
"You have to keep going, you’ve already made it so much farther than us!"
I want to be better.
"Then BE better."
I don’t have the strength.
"You wouldn’t have made it this far if you weren’t strong!"
I worry the current is stronger than I am.
"It is no stronger than ours surely."
My canoe strains against the pressure.
"Your canoe is a GIFT, you mustn't waste it!"
I close my eyes for the briefest of spells, try to steal just a moment of rest.
As I reopen them… I realise that it’s gone.
My goal. What was my goal again?
I have been paddling in this current so long...
Where was I going again?
All I remember is the agony of each stroke,
The words of condemnation for my failures
The presupposition of my achievements.
"You’re a disappointment, you should give up."
"If you give up, you will be a disappointment."
"You’re not good enough to be here."
"You’re too good not to be there."
"Look at your failures!"
"Focus on your accomplishments!"
My canoe breaks, and I am plunged into the icy waters of uncertainty.
I have forgotten what my own voice sounds like.
I need to hear it.
I open my mouth to remind myself, but nothing comes out.
Instead, the current consumes me; inside and out.
What could have been and what could never be are gone.
I am gone.
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 22, 2019 at 12:26 PM UTC
In the depths of sleep, where improbable comes alive,
Where fantasies unfurl and our wildest reveries do strive,
No, I’d never dreamed of you.
The eyes I’d dreamed were azure; vibrant drops, matching sapphires,
Framed like lovely rose bushes with long lashes like briers.
But your eyes are burnt umber, pools of darkness yet they shine,
A synthesis of tenderness and humor by design,
But I’d never dreamed of you
I’d imagined locks of gold, corn silk glinting all aglow.
Flowing tresses without waves; straight as arrows from their bows.
But your tresses are russet, luscious curls like untamed vines,
Dancing in the summer breeze, begetting longing and repine.
Still I’d never dreamed of you.
I’d dreamed up arms to hold me, but they’d depart when I’d wake.
Dream hands could not swipe my tears; impart solace past daybreak.
You’re not what I expected, envisioned or sought after,
But each day in your presence, sates me with blissful laughter.
Yes, dreams cannot construct one’s life; cannot return one’s love,
So though I’d never dreamed of you,
your love was quite enough.
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 22, 2019 at 12:08 PM UTC