sylvrebells - Hello Poetry

like foxes in the henhouse no sanity to be found neither residents nor caregivers in this broken asylum #gradschool

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Jun 23, 2020

Jun 23, 2020 at 1:57 PM UTC

sylvrebells

#gradschool

like foxes in the henhouse no sanity to be found neither residents nor caregivers in this broken asylum #gradschool

5

Out of the woodwork Comes the spiders Devouring your corpse Though you're dead, you've much to give In life you were a failure Out the woodwork Comes the spiders Skittering 'cross your nose The scent of Rose's lost to you Away upon the wind Out the woodwork Comes the spiders There's no one there to mourn There alone there with the spiders In death as you once lived.

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Jun 14, 2020

Jun 14, 2020 at 12:15 AM UTC

sylvrebells

Spiders

Out of the woodwork Comes the spiders Devouring your corpse Though you're dead, you've much to give In life you were a failure Out the woodwork Comes the spiders Skittering 'cross your nose The scent of Rose's lost to you Away upon the wind Out the woodwork Comes the spiders There's no one there to mourn There alone there with the spiders In death as you once lived.

15

Gone into the moon I wished To see you soon You have ascended to a place I cannot follow With hopeless grace, a broken bird wallows Alone amid the fallen blossoms Spring to summer and summer autumns Your presence now a hollow spectre Born bare before my altar Gone Into the moon Wish unfulfilled My life now picayune

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Jun 14, 2020

Jun 14, 2020 at 12:12 AM UTC

sylvrebells

Picayune

Gone into the moon I wished To see you soon You have ascended to a place I cannot follow With hopeless grace, a broken bird wallows Alone amid the fallen blossoms Spring to summer and summer autumns Your presence now a hollow spectre Born bare before my altar Gone Into the moon Wish unfulfilled My life now picayune

14

Ring ring ring The phone inside my head is Calling Calling Calling me to sin It tells me Tells me Tells me just to jump Get away from it all Say goodbye to it all One last look back upon my life Tells me Tells me, That it is time to go Nothing here holds meaning anymore And nothing here is holding me at all Goodbye, my friends I wish I had the strength To fight that urge to throw it all away Goodbye, my friends I hope you’ll understand Goodbye, my friends The times, they weren’t all bad Ring ring ring The phone inside my head is Calling Calling Calling me to sin It tells me Tells me Tells me just to jump Get away from it all Say goodbye to it all Pick up the pieces, Go back to the board I’ve heard those lines I’ve heard it all before Convince myself To live for one more day Convince myself Get through just one more day Ring ring ring That phone inside my head Is calling Calling Calling me to sin I can’t ignore those calls for me to jump Now I’m leaving it all Say goodbye as I fall.

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Dec 17, 2019

Dec 17, 2019 at 10:47 AM UTC

sylvrebells

Death Calls Collect

Ring ring ring The phone inside my head is Calling Calling Calling me to sin It tells me Tells me Tells me just to jump Get away from it all Say goodbye to it all One last look back upon my life Tells me Tells me, That it is time to go Nothing here holds meaning anymore And nothing here is holding me at all Goodbye, my friends I wish I had the strength To fight that urge to throw it all away Goodbye, my friends I hope you’ll understand Goodbye, my friends The times, they weren’t all bad Ring ring ring The phone inside my head is Calling Calling Calling me to sin It tells me Tells me Tells me just to jump Get away from it all Say goodbye to it all Pick up the pieces, Go back to the board I’ve heard those lines I’ve heard it all before Convince myself To live for one more day Convince myself Get through just one more day Ring ring ring That phone inside my head Is calling Calling Calling me to sin I can’t ignore those calls for me to jump Now I’m leaving it all Say goodbye as I fall.

50

Go to sleep, just rest your eyes In your dreams, your soul takes flight Abandon here, terrestrial cares Your waking hours, the real nightmare As you are, you are enough On the brink, you’re on the cusp So take my words, commit to heart And I’ll give you a brand new start Transcend this plane, forgo this life It isn’t worth your eternal strife Take that leap into abyss Embracing now death’s sweet kiss Raise your head, eyes toward the sky Do not weep as you say goodbye

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Dec 3, 2019

Dec 3, 2019 at 9:22 AM UTC

sylvrebells

Azrael's Lullaby

Go to sleep, just rest your eyes In your dreams, your soul takes flight Abandon here, terrestrial cares Your waking hours, the real nightmare As you are, you are enough On the brink, you’re on the cusp So take my words, commit to heart And I’ll give you a brand new start Transcend this plane, forgo this life It isn’t worth your eternal strife Take that leap into abyss Embracing now death’s sweet kiss Raise your head, eyes toward the sky Do not weep as you say goodbye

14

See how the clock ticks? Second by second; Minute by minute Golden hands moving, moving Never ceasing, ever changing See her dress flow? Lace of black, silk of red Hugging her form; Kissing the floor See her foot tap in anticipation? Tap tapping, Clap clapping Her heel scuffs the floor Ding, scuff. Ding, scuff. Now see her pacing Back and forth, Forth and back Back to the clock Hands at a quarter, Quarter ‘til nine Tick ticking, click clicking Forward in time, inching towards nine See her dainty hand rest Upon the rail to the stairs? Fingers tap, heels clap As the clock ticks the time See her raven hair catch the light? The silver pins shine She twirls a stray curl The clock still ticks the time Five minutes left now She sighs a slight sigh Then the doorbells chime As the gold clock strikes nine An audible gasp as the door opens wide The clock is forgotten; its tick out of mind They head to the dance at two past nine

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Oct 4, 2019

Oct 4, 2019 at 3:18 PM UTC

sylvrebells

Before the Dance

See how the clock ticks? Second by second; Minute by minute Golden hands moving, moving Never ceasing, ever changing See her dress flow? Lace of black, silk of red Hugging her form; Kissing the floor See her foot tap in anticipation? Tap tapping, Clap clapping Her heel scuffs the floor Ding, scuff. Ding, scuff. Now see her pacing Back and forth, Forth and back Back to the clock Hands at a quarter, Quarter ‘til nine Tick ticking, click clicking Forward in time, inching towards nine See her dainty hand rest Upon the rail to the stairs? Fingers tap, heels clap As the clock ticks the time See her raven hair catch the light? The silver pins shine She twirls a stray curl The clock still ticks the time Five minutes left now She sighs a slight sigh Then the doorbells chime As the gold clock strikes nine An audible gasp as the door opens wide The clock is forgotten; its tick out of mind They head to the dance at two past nine

32

I want to see me through your eyes, Disguised as smart, as strong, as funny, as beautiful. All these things you say I am. All these things I say I’m not. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. But I love you, and you love me. And I know I can’t live on this way So even if it doesn’t happen today I want to try to see me through your eyes.

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Sep 2, 2019

Sep 2, 2019 at 4:38 PM UTC

sylvrebells

Through Your Eyes

I want to see me through your eyes, Disguised as smart, as strong, as funny, as beautiful. All these things you say I am. All these things I say I’m not. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. But I love you, and you love me. And I know I can’t live on this way So even if it doesn’t happen today I want to try to see me through your eyes.

9

I’ve been duckin’ cupid He aint got zip on me I’ve been duckin’ cupid, But don’t tell anybody This heart of mine is off the market It’s seen too much wear and tear I’m done with his bad aim I’m done with his affairs My heart’s been stricken by his arrows One too many times But I refuse to be a girl Who sits at home and pines So I’ll keep duckin’ cupid And put armour ‘round my heart Shut out love, lock out the world So no one sees my scars I’ve been duckin’ cupid He won’t get zip on me As long as you keep my secret Give me your guarantee Cause I’ve been duckin’ cupid It’s better don’t you see? If we duck him together, then we can both be free Just tell me one thing though please before we hit the road Did you mean it when you told me that your heart was mine to hold? ‘Cause I’ve been duckin’ cupid, But he’s caught up with me. I’ve been duckin’ cupid, But I’ve finally come to see. All my heartbreaks led me here To my past I say adieu I’ve been running from his love To fall in love with you.

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Jul 23, 2019

Jul 23, 2019 at 11:12 AM UTC

sylvrebells

Ducking Cupid

I’ve been duckin’ cupid He aint got zip on me I’ve been duckin’ cupid, But don’t tell anybody This heart of mine is off the market It’s seen too much wear and tear I’m done with his bad aim I’m done with his affairs My heart’s been stricken by his arrows One too many times But I refuse to be a girl Who sits at home and pines So I’ll keep duckin’ cupid And put armour ‘round my heart Shut out love, lock out the world So no one sees my scars I’ve been duckin’ cupid He won’t get zip on me As long as you keep my secret Give me your guarantee Cause I’ve been duckin’ cupid It’s better don’t you see? If we duck him together, then we can both be free Just tell me one thing though please before we hit the road Did you mean it when you told me that your heart was mine to hold? ‘Cause I’ve been duckin’ cupid, But he’s caught up with me. I’ve been duckin’ cupid, But I’ve finally come to see. All my heartbreaks led me here To my past I say adieu I’ve been running from his love To fall in love with you.

36

I find myself paddling against the current. Those ahead ask why I am falling behind. Those behind don’t see how every stroke wears me down. It takes everything I have just to stay afloat. "We began this race after you and have already overtaken you, how pathetic." I want to give up. "You have to keep going, you’ve already made it so much farther than us!" I want to be better. "Then BE better." I don’t have the strength. "You wouldn’t have made it this far if you weren’t strong!" I worry the current is stronger than I am. "It is no stronger than ours surely." My canoe strains against the pressure. "Your canoe is a GIFT, you mustn't waste it!" I close my eyes for the briefest of spells, try to steal just a moment of rest. As I reopen them… I realise that it’s gone. My goal. What was my goal again? I have been paddling in this current so long... Where was I going again? All I remember is the agony of each stroke, The words of condemnation for my failures The presupposition of my achievements. "You’re a disappointment, you should give up." "If you give up, you will be a disappointment." "You’re not good enough to be here." "You’re too good not to be there." "Look at your failures!" "Focus on your accomplishments!" My canoe breaks, and I am plunged into the icy waters of uncertainty. I have forgotten what my own voice sounds like. I need to hear it. I open my mouth to remind myself, but nothing comes out. Instead, the current consumes me; inside and out. What could have been and what could never be are gone. I am gone.

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Jul 22, 2019

Jul 22, 2019 at 12:26 PM UTC

sylvrebells

Grad School Angst

I find myself paddling against the current. Those ahead ask why I am falling behind. Those behind don’t see how every stroke wears me down. It takes everything I have just to stay afloat. "We began this race after you and have already overtaken you, how pathetic." I want to give up. "You have to keep going, you’ve already made it so much farther than us!" I want to be better. "Then BE better." I don’t have the strength. "You wouldn’t have made it this far if you weren’t strong!" I worry the current is stronger than I am. "It is no stronger than ours surely." My canoe strains against the pressure. "Your canoe is a GIFT, you mustn't waste it!" I close my eyes for the briefest of spells, try to steal just a moment of rest. As I reopen them… I realise that it’s gone. My goal. What was my goal again? I have been paddling in this current so long... Where was I going again? All I remember is the agony of each stroke, The words of condemnation for my failures The presupposition of my achievements. "You’re a disappointment, you should give up." "If you give up, you will be a disappointment." "You’re not good enough to be here." "You’re too good not to be there." "Look at your failures!" "Focus on your accomplishments!" My canoe breaks, and I am plunged into the icy waters of uncertainty. I have forgotten what my own voice sounds like. I need to hear it. I open my mouth to remind myself, but nothing comes out. Instead, the current consumes me; inside and out. What could have been and what could never be are gone. I am gone.

36

In the depths of sleep, where improbable comes alive, Where fantasies unfurl and our wildest reveries do strive, No, I’d never dreamed of you. The eyes I’d dreamed were azure; vibrant drops, matching sapphires, Framed like lovely rose bushes with long lashes like briers. But your eyes are burnt umber, pools of darkness yet they shine, A synthesis of tenderness and humor by design, But I’d never dreamed of you I’d imagined locks of gold, corn silk glinting all aglow. Flowing tresses without waves; straight as arrows from their bows. But your tresses are russet, luscious curls like untamed vines, Dancing in the summer breeze, begetting longing and repine. Still I’d never dreamed of you. I’d dreamed up arms to hold me, but they’d depart when I’d wake. Dream hands could not swipe my tears; impart solace past daybreak. You’re not what I expected, envisioned or sought after, But each day in your presence, sates me with blissful laughter. Yes, dreams cannot construct one’s life; cannot return one’s love, So though I’d never dreamed of you, your love was quite enough.

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Jul 22, 2019

Jul 22, 2019 at 12:08 PM UTC

sylvrebells

Dreaming the wrong dream

In the depths of sleep, where improbable comes alive, Where fantasies unfurl and our wildest reveries do strive, No, I’d never dreamed of you. The eyes I’d dreamed were azure; vibrant drops, matching sapphires, Framed like lovely rose bushes with long lashes like briers. But your eyes are burnt umber, pools of darkness yet they shine, A synthesis of tenderness and humor by design, But I’d never dreamed of you I’d imagined locks of gold, corn silk glinting all aglow. Flowing tresses without waves; straight as arrows from their bows. But your tresses are russet, luscious curls like untamed vines, Dancing in the summer breeze, begetting longing and repine. Still I’d never dreamed of you. I’d dreamed up arms to hold me, but they’d depart when I’d wake. Dream hands could not swipe my tears; impart solace past daybreak. You’re not what I expected, envisioned or sought after, But each day in your presence, sates me with blissful laughter. Yes, dreams cannot construct one’s life; cannot return one’s love, So though I’d never dreamed of you, your love was quite enough.

20